To wonder where they bloody are?!

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My DH gran passed away about 6 years ago and I dont recall anything happening to her ashes? I find it so completely bizarre that they just wouldn't do anything with them?

They may still be with the funeral director or with the crematorium. You could ring and inquire, but they won't release them to anyone except the person who organised the cremation. Are you in contact with that person?

No they have them back as and as far as I know they just in a cupboard somewhere at MIL. I find it so odd!

My DHs dad died in 2013 and he just has the ashes in our house. Not everyone wants the buried or scattered.

The funeral director should have them. I hope that they will only release them to the person who organised the funeral as it means they'll have to release my mum's ashes to my dad who's ashes are also sitting in their storage!

Some families just prefer to keep the ashes at home. They might scatter or bury them at a later date, when they feel ready, or they might not.

Some people feel the need to keep them. Everyone is different, no right or wrong.

So you know your DH family has them but you don't know what they did next or where they store them? Is it any of your business? Does your DH know? My parent kept their parent's ashes until they felt ready to scatter them with other family members. Never felt the need to tell us the details until ready

But it is like she never existed? I dunno I do respect that everybody does it differently.

My nan never collected my pa's ashes from the funeral director. Once she died, we phoned the funeral director who knew exactly where they were at his premises, 10 years on!

Makes me wonder how long they keep them and if they ever try and contact people to collect them.

I was told they keep them forever. I suppose it is like graveyards where the graves are just left.

Why is it like she never existed? Because the ashes (or their resting place) are not on display?

Is it really bad that I'm thinking of Meet the Parents now and the ashes on the mantle piece

My friend has her mums ashes in the bottom of her wardrobe, and says 'morning mum' every day when she's getting dressed!

She has no intention of ever doing anything else with them

So your issue is because they haven’t buried them / scattered them or ‘done’ something with her ashes you find it strange??

I find that strange!

You clearly don’t respect that they’re doing it differently, and clearly are judging and think they should do something - what is anyone’s guess!

My Nan died over a year ago. I have no idea where the ashes are or who has them (large family)

That doesn’t wipe my memories

My Mum buried my Dad's ashes under a tree she had planted in the garden of her church. But because of some weird CoE rules, she is not allowed to have a plaque put up or anything. I assume when her time comes she would like to be scattered around the tree - I have no idea which tree it is, and as it was 20 years ago, I doubt that any of the clergy know either.

Fair enough, I wasnt judging honestly, I suppose I just like to 'have a place' where I can go and it makes sense for everybody else in the family to have that place.

Everyone's different. I feel quite strongly that i don't want a 'place' when i'm gone. I'd like a handful of me given to the family (a whole urn is quite a lot) and to just be taken by them and be thrown into the wind in a particular spot which i love. And is windy!

My dad's ashes are buried (and my DM has the spot next to him booked) but no one goes to it. He was dearly loved but neither me nor his grand kids are keen on staring sadly at a bit of damp ground by a church. It's maudlin and horrible to me. He is in our hearts and minds and we remember happy times with him.

I get pangs of guilt when i think of the grass getting long where his plaque is and no flowers ect. It'll be worse when mum's next to him! I don't want my kids having that for me.

My dad has a long line of urns, grandma 1, dog 1, dog 2, grandma 2, grandad 2, dog 3, he quite often talks to them, on a shelf in the living room

My mum wanted to be put in the sea where she grew up. And she also said it would be a good excuse for me and my brother to have a holiday there!

I find it very weird. We buried my dad's ashes under a tree in a national park - several will plant a tree over them for you for a donation. That way we can visit them if we want to but it's not a miserable graveyard. Plus, as dad said before, if ghosts are a thing he'll have a good view and mostly be surrounded by other ex-hikers, so might make some post-death friends 😁

I had a friend who scattered ashes on a hillside but forgot to take wind direction into account and had to drive home with her dad in her hair.

I did know someone who left their child's ashes at the funeral directors. It's been over forty years now. She can't bear to think about it.

The kids wanted to keep grandmas ashes on the mantelpiece so she'd have company. Little odd, and we didn't do it!

After my dad died and we collected the ashes, I assumed we would sprinkle them, but my brother strongly wanted to keep them. He was bothered by the idea of bits of Dad being separated and blowing around. He felt much, much more strongly about it than I did, so I was perfectly happy for him to have the ashes. So he's at home with my brother. No doubt my mum will join him when she passes on. It wouldn't be for me to have ashes in the house, but it brings him comfort, so why not?

Find out which tree and carve a heart in the trunk so you know

Not necessarily. No one in my immediate family is bothered in the slightest!

My MIL has the ashes of her parents, dog, cat and FIL on the sideboard in her hall...!

Each to their own I guess. We have scattered ashes abroad, on the hillside in Wales and at the bottom of my mums garden.