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Original poster

Children on Ipads in restaurants

819 replies

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 08:27

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

OP posts:
ColleenDonaghy · 05/02/2024 10:32

Daddydog · 05/02/2024 10:23

I've got a controversial opinion on this (at least in our circle) the parents that have strong opposing views on kids using tablets tend to be the same ones fortunate to have a plethora of support in the form of grandparents doing a fair whack of the childcare! Childfree romantic dinners or holidays are not a rare novelty! Every holiday we've had we meet the exact same type of parents, and low and behold we see them trundling around the resort with granny and grandpa and going down for romantic dinners without the kids! When you have kids and zero support whatsoever, you quickly learn how to use any tool available.

We have a friend whoes strongly against TV and tablet time. Easy for her to say as she has a live in nanny who travels with the family on holiday! Hehe

I'll be the exception that proves your rule - I'm anti-screens at the table and we have no family support nearby. If we want a meal out just the two of us we hire a babysitter, maybe twice a year. She's just had her own baby though so that's scuppered!

mitogoshi · 05/02/2024 10:32

The only meal I personally thinks it's acceptable to have phones out at is breakfast - basically I read the newspaper ... rest of the day, phones are away and no tv (don't have one where the table is) my children grew up fine with these rules.

Original poster
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:33

Oganesson118 · 05/02/2024 08:55

Is it just iPads that are an issue? My 6yo sometimes brings a book along, I mean that’s still not necessarily interacting with us the whole time. Though she does always order her own food when the waiter comes.

sounds like she is still able to socially interact?
Genuine question does she read the book whilst eating her meal or set it aside to eat?

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 05/02/2024 10:35

@Mariposistaaa are you going to be "disgusted" and "shamelessly" judging me and my DS enjoying our Saturday lunches out then? What I have to say to that is very rude indeed, so I will refrain. (You can't tell "from the outside" that he is autistic, nor that I am reading a weighty academic tome on the Roman Empire while I eat my lunch 😉)

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 10:35

Perhaps the parents on holiday letting their dc use screens at meal times are the same ones who are swimming, sightseeing, interacting with them during the rest of the day?

roarrfeckingroar · 05/02/2024 10:35

My three year old can wait for a meal then eat it nicely, talking to us, without a screen. I've taken him to restaurants regularly since he was a baby so he knows how to behave. His one year old sister will hopefully learn my example too.

In the absence of special needs, I really don't think this is radical or an unrealistic expectation,

Original poster
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:35

shreknjumps · 05/02/2024 08:57

There won't be time for anything anyway if you're shovelling a meal down in 10 minutes. At least the toddlers aren't missing school like yours

I think you misread my post on timings.
I wasn’t aware toddlers went to school?

my childrens school is OFF!

You really seem to be taking this very personally🤣 but thanks for caring that my kids might have been taken out of a UK school to not be on their ipads whilst eating.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 05/02/2024 10:37

Couldn’t care less. I’m not even sure tablets were around when mine were little, certainly not like now where everyone has them. Pretty sure we had mobiles but not like today’s, huge, brick like and don’t think they even had Internet functionality. So, we used to take colouring/sticker/puzzle books and new quiet table top toys if going out to dinner. I don’t think that’s any different to iPads/phones today.

We went on holidays once every 3 years (I could never get time off work and then coordinating time off between DH and myself was an utter nightmare). We also were rarely together as worked opposite shifts/days to avoid childcare costs so that time was our only real all together family time. DH and I spent all day interacting with the kids on holidays but dinner was ‘our’ time. Pre dinner drinks, leisurely 3 courses, lots of wine😁. You bet we went stocked up with stuff to entertain the kids and if you saw us, yes, minimally interacted with them as it was our time together. If iPads/phones were like they are now we would have had every kid on one (with headphones of course) for every night of dinner when we were on holidays, absolutely, without a doubt.

shockeditellyou · 05/02/2024 10:38

Daddydog · 05/02/2024 10:23

I've got a controversial opinion on this (at least in our circle) the parents that have strong opposing views on kids using tablets tend to be the same ones fortunate to have a plethora of support in the form of grandparents doing a fair whack of the childcare! Childfree romantic dinners or holidays are not a rare novelty! Every holiday we've had we meet the exact same type of parents, and low and behold we see them trundling around the resort with granny and grandpa and going down for romantic dinners without the kids! When you have kids and zero support whatsoever, you quickly learn how to use any tool available.

We have a friend whoes strongly against TV and tablet time. Easy for her to say as she has a live in nanny who travels with the family on holiday! Hehe

We have no family support whatsoever - if someone other than me or DH was looking after our kids, we were paying them. And yes, we did not do childfree dinners or get time off from them on holiday. And no - at no point have we ever resorted to screens in a restaurant. We rarely went out to eat at anything other than "quick bite" cafes until they were old enough to sit nicely and play with crayons/books/small toys, chat or just wait quietly. Funnily enough, my children have no problems sitting nicely at a long meal now, and have been able to do so since about the start of primary school.

And yes, I happily judge parents who put screens in front of kids in restaurants. There's no need, and it becomes self fulfilling - if they are never expected to sit through a meal because they are glued to the iPad, they are never going to manage it.

Parenting takes work, and increasingly people just can't be arsed and technology makes it easy for them to opt out. If there's an "easy" option, they'll take it.

Original poster
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:38

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 08:55

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned it was very unusual when I was a dc to go out to eat with your family regularly. As I said I still learned how to behave. Was it common for you?

Yes we went out as children and regularly on holiday. Like PP we were allowed to colour after a meal but we were always expected to interact with adults and servers.

OP posts:
Helena7319 · 05/02/2024 10:38

I'm usually more concerned about the people who allow their kids to play cartoons or games with the volume up. I was recently subjected to Baby Shark on repeat fir an entire meal. It's so rude!

shockeditellyou · 05/02/2024 10:39

roarrfeckingroar · 05/02/2024 10:35

My three year old can wait for a meal then eat it nicely, talking to us, without a screen. I've taken him to restaurants regularly since he was a baby so he knows how to behave. His one year old sister will hopefully learn my example too.

In the absence of special needs, I really don't think this is radical or an unrealistic expectation,

Exactly. I'm fed up with it being held up as some kind of unachievable goal. See also: eating decent food.

Helena7319 · 05/02/2024 10:41

Not if they have the sound on, which many of them do. It drives me nuts

Original poster
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:41

CantDealwithChristmas · 05/02/2024 08:58

Hmmm, I feel like parents in restaurants can't win. Either they're criticised for their kids being 'loud' and moving around the restaurant or they're criticised for being quiet and on iPads.

We're not in an Edwardian aristocratic family home, children aren'y going to sit obediently and talk with their parents about how much they're enjoyed Mr Conan Doyle's latest story. They're kids, they're going to make noise unless you distract them with a device.

I think some of it comes down to English class snobbery. Go to a family-friendly society like in Itlay or Greece and the kids will be wlaking round, playing, the families will be getting up and greeting ech other etc. It's only a small sub-section of British society that seems to want to police exactly how children behave in public.

I prefer the italian version! It’s normal for kids to be kids.

your suggestion that there are 2 options dump them on a screen and get them to ignore everything and be ignored or have them causing a disturbance is so sad. Surely option no 3 is have them interact they don’t have to talk about literature they are kids they can talk about anything!

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 05/02/2024 10:41

ExtraOnions · 05/02/2024 10:28

When we go out to eat, the first thing I do is get my Latin Primer out, and get them to conjugate a few Verbs. If you can’t tell your Habeo from your Habes, no dessert for you.

Saying that we don’t really eat out, we just get good fresh produce from the local market, and then we all join in a cook together, with a nice glass of local wine.

My children don’t even know what the Internet is, we have an amazing set of Encyclopaedias in the library, where they can look up whatever they want .. as long as it happened before 1950

There are certainly no screens, we only listen to Radio 4, whilst we play a hand of Bridge in the evening.

Interesting the perception on this thread that parents who don’t have screens out at restaurants must be uber high brow and talk to their kids about Shakespeare at the table. Shockingly we’re actually pretty normal, never listen to radio 4, eat a frozen pizza occasionally and generally the chat with our kids is about funny things that happened that day or any other random subject, sometimes verging on highbrow but usually something mundane and ordinary just like your average family.

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 10:42

@Somersetlady You're on holiday with a 6 yr old & a 9 yr old & you have spent 2 hours reading & posting replies on a thread you made judging others for screen use & not interacting with their dc 😆😆

theDudesmummy · 05/02/2024 10:42

I do absolutely agree about the sound of course. If he has left his earbuds behind I would not even think of entering a restaurant unless we can find some headphones.

Mnetcurious · 05/02/2024 10:44

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 10:42

@Somersetlady You're on holiday with a 6 yr old & a 9 yr old & you have spent 2 hours reading & posting replies on a thread you made judging others for screen use & not interacting with their dc 😆😆

Maybe the other parent is in the pool interacting with the kids? Is this not normal for a family on holiday at some point during the day?

Original poster
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:44

SpinningAroundTown · 05/02/2024 08:58

You’re seeing a small part of their life, you’ve no idea whether this is a regular occurrence. Beak out beaky!

Hence i am asking the question. Is it normal now! To a large cross section of people at one time.

OP posts:
TonyaD1986 · 05/02/2024 10:44

Ok. So I have a 6 year old son who has additional needs. At meal times he has to have something to watch whilst he eats. If he didn’t have an iPad to watch, his food doesn’t get eaten. It distracts him enough that he will eat and not complain. Where as if I took that away, he picks at every little thing on the plate, he gets up from the table and get distracted by other things (drinks machines, other diners) Having that tablet there really helps him concentrate and whilst he’s watching, happily clears the plate! Trust me, you would not prefer Some of these kids off their tablet at meal times. Mayhem

Scirocco · 05/02/2024 10:46

What you're seeing is point in time, so it's a bit harsh to condemn someone's parenting based on that.

DC very very rarely uses a screen in public. When we had a family member die and needed to put food in a small child on our way home from the hospital, there was nothing left in us to manage a nice, entirely interactive dinner. DC enjoyed watching cartoons with dinner, as an extremely uncommon occurrence, while DH and I sat and tried to pull ourselves together enough to get through the rest of the day.

LtMoose · 05/02/2024 10:47

My children learn their table manners at home when we eat dinner, if I'm paying a lot of money for a meal out or a holiday, I would like to relax and enjoy my food and if that means my kids are in screens so be it. Honestly as long as they are silent mind your own business.

Helena7319 · 05/02/2024 10:47

It was fir my children. I spent time teaching them how to behave appropriately.

Legoninjago1 · 05/02/2024 10:48

@fonfusedm 🤣🤣 love it. Judgement's only good for others i guess!

Maray1967 · 05/02/2024 10:51

Hoglet70 · 05/02/2024 08:31

Children on iPads are quiet children who aren't disturbing everyone else. You can ban screens in restaurants and then moan about the amount of feral screaming brats tearing around the tables, making vast amounts of noise if you like?

What??? There is another way. Mine never had screens at tables. Neither did they run around the restaurant shouting. I kept them occupied quietly - sticker books, normal books, top trumps, noughts & crosses- and conversation. You have to do some parenting, not ignore them.