Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

Just got back from holiday and naturally, had more meals out.

After long days together, we went to Florida so done parks, experiences etc, whereby our kids had our full attention, interaction and conversation, iPads were absolutely used in restaurant sittings so we all had a chance to decompress. I also don't think other people out for a meal would want to listen to two kids tired from the parks all day getting grumpy.

It's not fair to assume that just because they're on an iPad or device at dinner they get no social interaction from parents.

For us, it's quite the opposite. I'm sure the ones who aren't arsed about their kids would actually leave them at home instead.

I'm shocked by the number of parents reading newspapers next to the pool. They should be interacting with their kids and fellow guests and staff.

😂

Oh, and their inability to move around! Being sedentary is very unhealthy and obviously their behaviour on holiday is exactly the same as their behaviour at home.

who is watching the dc?! 😱

So many screen apologists on this thread. It's fucking up kids' brains and creating a generation of quick-cut-addled zombies.

@quitethelittlekoala I know the effect screens have had on my ability to focus and be in the moment - and I was in my 30s when smart phones became a thing. It’s incredibly telling that many hi tech managers speak of not allowing their own kids to use these things.

@Somersetlady Would it be OK if they all sat silently reading books?

Not interacting but reading rather than on iPad?

We used to take colouring books and crayons for our dc between eating (it would keep a grandad or an uncle occupied too!) They need something to occupy themselves, but not switch them off from the group. We went to a restaurant and the children on the next table had I Pads with headphones. Apart from asking the dc what they wanted to eat, there was no communication between them and the adults at the table. It's a shame.

For gods sake stop judging people!! How do you know they haven’t spent the whole day seeing to them, playing, may have been up all night with them and the parents need a bloody break and just go eat their dinner.
Get a bloody life!!

Exactly what @Amybelle88 said. I think people forget that they are seeing a minuscule snapshot of a family about which they know absolutely nothing! I allow my boys to have books or iPads or other forms of entertainment at restaurants if they want them - after a bit of chat, not straight away. My kids are at school 6 days a week (prep school) and play sport every single day - pretty much year round. When they're home they doing any number of activities (on top of stuff for school). Dinner at a restaurant is meant to be a relaxing event for all of us so I'm happy for them to chill out and watch a bit of iPad if they want. Nothing to do with lazy parenting. If only!

Agree with this. We don't give our toddler any screen time before the meal, we'll sit and chat etc.

But toddlers are savages, she likes to wolf her food down. We want to enjoy ours slowly. So it's after food we may give her some screen time so we can finish our food in peace.

My DDs use screens whilst in restaurants. Not the whole meal but when I can sense them getting bored.

Luckily, I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks of my parenting techniques based on a brief glance into our lives.

Yet they are high tech managers. Why did they choose to do that? Are they not promoting these products?

Only if it's on a subject approved by @Somersetlady obs....

My ASD child always had a device because it meant being able to eat without him jumping around or stimming. Now he's older, he's easier to distract and he likes a conversation but I'd still make sure we had something if we needed it.

I've got a controversial opinion on this (at least in our circle) the parents that have strong opposing views on kids using tablets tend to be the same ones fortunate to have a plethora of support in the form of grandparents doing a fair whack of the childcare! Childfree romantic dinners or holidays are not a rare novelty! Every holiday we've had we meet the exact same type of parents, and low and behold we see them trundling around the resort with granny and grandpa and going down for romantic dinners without the kids! When you have kids and zero support whatsoever, you quickly learn how to use any tool available.

We have a friend whoes strongly against TV and tablet time. Easy for her to say as she has a live in nanny who travels with the family on holiday! Hehe

I hate it too op. It's the parents not engaging with their children that gets me. I've brought up children, they hadn't invented smartphones then so it was colouring books and conversation

i think i got my answer from the post which is IABU it is totally the norm now for kids to be on tablets for meals out!

presumably they are not playing cards or colouring whilst actually eating and are still able to engage with each other/ you / serving staff at the same time?

As regularly pointed out on MN all parents do what they think is best for their kids or themselves/families.

i havent approached anybody / stared at anybody for a whole meal just it was an observation that came from the children why are we not allowed to…….

What is "it" exactly?

To dismiss all 'screens' as the devil is too simplistic. A screen is just a medium, like paper. What is delivered via that medium can vary wildly, as can people's reactions to it.

Being against screens in general is like banning most books. It's just clumsy and reactionary.

Weirdly, when the printing presses brought literacy to the masses there was a concern that people would lose their ability to retain epic historical spoken-word stories. To be fair, they were right, we don't have that ability any more. Does that mean literacy is a bad thing? Depends who you ask I suppose. In the same way, is a reduced attention span and a preference for high-level summaries of MANY different subjects a bad thing? I don't know, none of us do. All we can really say is that it's different to what we are familiar with, but that's not bad by default.

We're out for a meal at least once a week, maybe more, My son is 2. Most times we're out for lunch it's because we've had a busy morning at the park, zoo, country walk etc so he's usually missed his morning nap and I'm playing a dangerous game of chicken with a toddler whos over tired and hungry at the same time. I'd say about 60% of the time, I can keep him happy with books and toys I've brought for him while we wait for his food to come, but then there are also times when he's completely knackered and my phone (usually toddler educational apps or Peppa pig on silent) is the only thing that will keep him calm until food arrives. Once the food is there i can remove the phone, but if you walked into the pub all you'd see is a mother totally ignoring her child while he stared at a phone screen. You wouldn't know we'd spent the morning having a great time running about outside and you wouldn't have a clue the phone was a last resort and for the benefit of other diners, not me.

Wind your judgy neck in and parent your own kids not everyone elses. Bully for you if your children are perfectly behaved cherubs who've never seen a cartoon.. I was raised the same way and I absolutely hated my parents for it.

When we go out to eat, the first thing I do is get my Latin Primer out, and get them to conjugate a few Verbs. If you can’t tell your Habeo from your Habes, no dessert for you.

Saying that we don’t really eat out, we just get good fresh produce from the local market, and then we all join in a cook together, with a nice glass of local wine.

My children don’t even know what the Internet is, we have an amazing set of Encyclopaedias in the library, where they can look up whatever they want .. as long as it happened before 1950

There are certainly no screens, we only listen to Radio 4, whilst we play a hand of Bridge in the evening.

Jacob Rees Mogg, welcome to the thread sir!

Two things: Regarding adults being "on screens" while eating: I have always loved "taking myself out for lunch" and reading a book. For many decades. It's one of my main little guilty pleasures in life to be honest (very busy professional, generally no time either for lunch or to read books in everyday life). I now do it on my phone Kindle app rather than using a paper book, meaning I have a much wider choice of books to suit my mood when I sit down to eat. And yes, shock horror, I read while I am eating. Through the whole meal. As I did in the old days when I had a paperback in my bag.

Secondly, I mentioned earlier how his phone allows me and autistic DS to go out and have a lovely lunch together, which we do once a week if we possibly can. A PP then mentioned "and yes, before someone starts the "my child is autistic" speech, autism was around for a long time before screens". Well yes, it was. And my DS's life would have been completely different had he been born just a few years earlier. It still sends chills down my spine to think of how his life would be without the very recently invented tech we have now. He cannot speak verbally at all, but communicates perfectly well by typing on a text-to-speech app on...what is that?..,.oh yes, a phone, which hangs around his neck at all times, allowing him to participate in normal life. Should I eschew his only means of communication, which allows him to live as close to a "normal life" as possible, because "autism was around" long before smartphones and text-to-speech apps? No? So equally, I will be grateful for YouTube and the endless variety of videos of train rolling stock and sliding doors which keep him happy while we contentedly enjoy our Saturday lunch. (And no, he does not ignore the servers, he orders his food and asks for the bill like anyone else).

It actually disgusts me and I will shamelessly judge. No excuses, there are plenty of other ways to entertain your children and train them to actually be bored and wait for a short time.

You’ll get flamed for saying this on MN though🤣 it is unreasonable to point out how damaging it is especially to toddlers as all you are really doing is saying you are a perfect parent……🤷‍♀️

Interesting point about the eyesight i wasn’t aware of that!