Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

Children with autism have been mentioned several times

@Somersetlady what's shocking is such a judgemental comment from someone who knows literally nothing about these parents or children. I literally despise people who comment and judge other people's parenting. How about you get off your phone and do something constructive instead of judging others.

@Youcannotbeseriousreally what's rude is this judgemental comment, you know nothing about that baby, the child or the situation.

I would not judge. I struggle to get one of my kids to sit still as he has adhd. It's not bad parenting it's a disability. My other child is "perfectly" behaved not to label either one of them. Why would I make my hard earned holiday stressful for me and others! Get a grip and mind your own business.

I can understand that they have their uses in a difficult spot if you have a fractious child on your hands, but I find it hard to watch that some parents don't even give the children even the chance to chat / talk at a table first before whipping out the screens. It doesn't bother me hearing little children chatting to their parents, even if they're occasionally a bit loud or excitable - they have a right to use their voice in a public space just as anyone does. I don't like this culture thats developing that children have to be occupied and silent at all times.

I was round at my friend's house when it was the kids' teatime and her parents were absolutely flapping trying to charge up the iPads ultra quickly because they didn't have enough batteries and the food was nearly ready, and everything was just reaching this weird fever-pitch of pots and pans clattering around, and trying to get the iPads ready while dishing up tea, and everything was put on the table but only when the iPads were ready. I found it absolutely bizarre - they are good kids, who I enjoy talking to. I was quite happy to chat to them while they ate their dinner, but I couldn't because they were eating with headphones on and it was clear that this was what their parents expected of them to do.

Or I will see in cafes parents will get the iPads out and ready on the table before they've even taken off the kids' coats.

I think it teaches really strange social norms to children and really limits the chance for children to practice conversations / language.

I agree, it’s awful. My kids are 2, 4 and 7. I have never entertained them with an iPad or similar at breakfast or lunch. At dinner maybe twice only when I knew dinner would be a struggle as they were tired and grumpy and we really wanted to eat a nice meal! Otherwise we bring stuff for them to do…which when I think about it maybe means they can’t sit quietly through a meal in a restaurant without some entertainment! I wouldn’t let them run wild as an alternative to an iPad. It’s sad how many folk just stick their child on a screen to silence them.

I know that no baby should be holding an electronic device so close to their eyes just so their parents can shop in Primark.

also, hi, because based on your comment I can only imagine you do this!

@Snowpaw I don't disagree with you about the home situation you describe (although I note you describe them as good kids who you enjoy talking to, so they can't be all that damaged from their use of iPads).

But in a public place please do just consider that the reason why the child is not "chatting" at the table could be because they literally cannot do so, before you judge.

Also if you watched my son in a public place, you probably would have no idea that he was in fact "chatting", even though he was. When he sits down at the restaurant table he certainly "whips out" his phone immediately so that he can discuss the menu with me and then give his order. To you, unless you were quite close up, it would look like he was just messing about on a phone which is hanging on a lanyard around his neck, so is always within reach of his hands. The truth is you never really know what is going on in other people's lives.

How do you feel about that twice you did give them iPads people were saying, you were

Lazy
Poor parent
Probably never spoke to your children ever?
Were deeming you so bad, they started a post on MN about you, encouraging others to join in at what a dreadful person you were.

Totally agree. You see it all the time. Parents constantly on their phone, people having their gadgets on speaker in public, kids in their iPads, no one actually talking to eachother. It’s becoming rare to see families interacting with eachother in restaurants or on trains. No wonder there’s an epidemic of kids not learning how to speak, anxiety issues etc.
A society wide issue of people not knowing how to behave in public.

I don’t understand why some people seem to think that the options are to either give your child a screen, or let them run amok? Surely there’s another option which is to engage with your child? Talk to them, listen to them, discuss the day, tell jokes, let them colour if you have to. I’m far from a perfect parent, but have never given any of my 4 children a screen in a restaurant. But then we eat together at the table every night, so they know how to behave. I think a lot of children don’t eat at the table with their parents. It seems to be quite common now for children to eat their meals at play tables with an iPad for company.

I completely agree with you - it is the easy option. If you take stickers, colouring etc. they can get used to getting involved in conversations as well, but on a phone or IPad they just block everything out like little zombies. Sitting at a table becomes learnt behaviour if you put the work in. We have always sat at a table for dinner at home as well so they got used to it from a young age. It’s the time that they chat the most (teens now) as we still don’t have phones at the table.

Here is your 🥇!

It's hard to judge without seeing their whole day. Some days you have absolutely Mummed your tits off, played games, done crafting, been to the park and done child friendly things ALL day, and then just fancy a bit of downtime. The kids are probably happy to have a break too.

Do you have kids ?????

Just loling at the people out there saying this generation's parents are lazy, when my parents idea of parenting was to send me out the house at the beginning of the day and tell me I should come back for tea time and not before! 🤣 have people ever considered that actually this is THE MOST hands on generation of parents, and sometimes they need a bloody break.

No let's judge them all, after all we've got @birdglasspen saying it's awful, she's done it herself, but only a couple of times, so we mustn't judge her! I presume she's got a sign she puts up saying it is awful, but hers are ok, because this is only the third time....... so she is exempt from the judgement and deciding that everyone knows just from that one interaction and it's really ok because she doesn't normally stick them in front of it and it's not sad her doing it.

And she's not done it at breakfast or lunch, so that makes her an even better parent!

The hypocrisy is real!

Or a packet of crisps and bottle of coke in the car outside the pub, then drive you home drunk!

I mean how many restaurants were there around years ago, maybe the odd Berni Inn?

Pretty common isn't it. I hate it. If your older kids aren't well enough behaved to eat at a table why bring them out?

I was in a restaurant recently with my family, including dd and dn's after having visited the Harry Potter studios. The table next to us, all the kids were on their devices. Now most would probably have judged, but I knew they had also been at the studios with their kids earlier on in the day, parenting the shit out of the day. The kids were nakered, the adults were too. Did I judged them for having tablets. No, because I know what a bloody great jobs they'd done all day.

This. We had a day on holiday last summer when I was 7 hours in the pool with DD. By the end of it, I was shattered and needed a fucking break and some silence and to just be and lock out the world.

@doilooklikeicare this made me laugh. I've blocked this bit out. As a kid growing up in the 90s, I fell in love with Oasis. Mainly because I spent most of my weekends and holiday in pubs and they were played everywhere. A bag of McCoys and a Panda Pop, now off you trot and leave us alone 🤣🤣🤣

Sitting and waiting is rather boring.

Honestly parents are damned if they do, damned if they don't

You used toys and games, other parents use iPads. Your choices weren't better.