Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

You are on a social media chat. People are sharing their opinions. If you don't like it, you are free to leave.

DC 9 wouldnt need an ipad and its not something Id do particularly, its not that I wouldnt allow it its just not part of our life. However when out in public DC 2.5yrs can have anything they want providing they just sit still for more than 5 minutes while we all try and eat!! We have computers ipads consoles but they are not a big part of our childrens lives and not played on. Ipads are mainly used for car longer journeys or to stop Toddler falling asleep in the car at the wrong time.

If you saw me in public you would probably judge me but in reality it rarely happens.

What on earth are you talking about?? How has parenting become more emotionally intensive? A nonsense excuse for being a cr**py parent.

That just sounds dangerous!

In 2005 my DB took a personal DVD player with him when we went on a family holiday to a beautiful place. At the time I thought it was so depressing that he was missing out on so much being glued to his screen the whole bloody time.

Almost 20 years later I say the same thing about kids and iPads. My DNieces have iPads in the car, so can't even say goodbye to us when driving off from a family meet-up. I find it very sad seeing kids having iPads stuck in front of their noses when at restaurants. Parents don't even give them a chance.

@Somersetlady I damn glad you do interact with children at mealtime, because the rest of the day seems taken up with you being on your bloody phone! I suppose at least if you manage it for an hour at mealtime they remember what you look like?

I'm love your defence of I haven't been on MN for ages, but now I'm on holiday with the children, I'm going to avoid parenting by being on there a lot.

How about, just leaving other parents alone, because you seem to want to explain yourself away and how you're not being on your phone too much, but willing to judge these people without giving them a chance.......

You’re post actually made me laugh and thanks for your honesty in answering my question.

I’m in a different time zone. I wasn’t on my phone at all this morning.

It’s a revelation how many people assume that you re on their schedule/school timetable/ country / time zone and pick holes in what you state As happening in your current location.

I think a username change is in order for you @doilooklikeicare because you’re still caring!

yes it’s relevant as I obviously am not on MN nonestop but you were pointing out my average post history earlier how or why you looked this up eludes me.

im simply coming back to answer people’s posts who have bothered to comment.

if I was sad enough I would go back and look at the gaps where I went swimming with the kids and read but I’m not!

So I’m bowing out thanks to all those who did answer my question courteously and for the majority of posters is does in fact seem to be the new norm.

to this of you that got your knickers in a twist like @doilooklikeicare sorry I raised your cortisol levels!

@Somersetlady stop trying to defend yourself, it's not fair, the people you are judging can't defend themselves? So, I've decided based on a snapshot on here

You're a disinterested mother
You allow your children to approach strangers that are trying to holiday in peace
You spend too long on MN and phones in general
You are judgemental

That's fair isn't it?

Change username, otherwise you'll be discovered.

I must have had very excellent or unusual children when mine were young as they neither needed iPads /screens or phones nor did they 'run around screaming and annoying people.' . It must have been a magic spell or perhaps some actual parenting..

It's obviously you never read one of the thousand threads on Mumsnet of people complaining about toddlers/small kids in restaurants! There's always several mentions to not use screens, but not let them make a peep (so no singing, or any kind of engagement that entails the most minimum use of decibels), and how those perfect parents always took the kids since 1 week old to fine dining restaurants and you shouldn't prevent them from this important life experience so not taking them is not an option.

And yeah, I definetely tried to include my 15 month old (at the time) in the conversation but for some reason she was not that interested 😅

YABU for judging how other people chose to manage their children at meal times. Stay baffled.

Do you not talk to your 15m old then? Obviously conversation is age appropriate even if it’s “oh look at that dog”, “this bread is yummy” etc.

I agree with you. My children were hellers at times but they always behaved themselves when we ate out. They also used knives and forks.

OT but I am very envious of you living on a non-British-touristy island. I won’t ask which it is, tempted though I am ;-)

Ok busy body. Enjoy the rest of your hols and remember to mind your own business while you're at it🙄

I've never seen anyone say that children must be silent. They do say they shouldn't be running around, because that's actively dangerous in places where hot food is being carried around.

I have a 5 and 3 year old DSses - they aren't very quiet and calm children and we definitely make noise and chatter away when eating out. I get complimented on them quite a lot, with a depressing number of the compliments explicitly saying that it's nice that they're interacting with me/us (I take them out on my own to eat quite often) rather than a tablet. My experience isn't that people are hostile to children making any sound.

My severely autistic DD will not stay put in a restaurant without her tablet or worst case, my phone to keep her distracted.
Stop assuming the worst of these parents. Most of us are doing the best we can.
I hate that every person we encounter outside might be judging us. It's hard enough raising a special needs child without busy bodies (on holiday!) armchair parenting us from afar.

And this is a very nasty message. I'm not ignoring her when she's on her tablet. She actually learned more from videos and games than we've managed with intense intervention since she was 15 months.
So freaking judgemental, you haven't got a clue!

And another one. Imagine thinking you know everything about parenting because you've spotted a child on a tablet in a restaurant.

It's not even close to lazy parenting. The tablet allows us to go out as a family to restaurants. At home and in her SEN school my DD will 75% of the time not sit still at the table to eat. We have to allow her to run back and forth or the majority of time she won't finish the meal. Am I supposed to allow this at a restaurant?
Or maybe since you are the parenting expert, you can advise on how we can address this issue with our non verbal autistic and SPD DD? Maybe you know something the early years intervention and SEN school doesn't?

@Helena7319 I guess I should just keep my autistic son indoors and well out of society's way then? Even better, maybe he should be in an institution so we don't risk disgusting you as you go about your life? Fuck (and I don't say this lightly) you.

@PictureALadybird no, its not "necessary". Going out to a nice restaurant is not necessary either, its luxury. But we enjoy it. Who are you to police that?

And I am not by any stretch of the imagination a lazy parent. As @JennyBeanR said, how about you give us some of your sage parenting advice about parenting non-verbal autistic children and trying to give them the richest possible experience of society and life (while trying not to annoy too many other people along the way)? Love to hear it.