Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

My child had a playdate around, we had so many activities on offer but the friend started demanding, in my own house, for screens. I told him no, we don't have screens on in playdates here. He was soooo mad about it!

Kids are ruling the roost!

My children don't (tablets weren't really around then), but my niece who is autistic often has her iPad with her. But regular kids - the odd occasion ok but no we talk, and it that boring but before the food arrives played card games like UNO.

Or they could just learn how to behave properly.

Don't be shocked. The areas they fail as a parent according to you, rest assured they will make up in areas YOU fail as a parent.

Now does that feel nice and judgy?

Also @Somersetlady are you holidaying in the UAE? That's a massive no no on MNs! 😆

No one is 100% “on” with their child all of the time and that’s okay. We all choose different ways of allocating our energy. We have friends that use screens when out to eat but are patient and interactive with their children in ways that I am not.

I also think that parenting has been more emotionally intense in some ways than in the past. Everything is so child focused. Sometimes people need a break and that’s okay.

You havent got kids have you? 😂

@Somersetlady I'm such a wonderful parent, I've posted on MN to tell you I am......

Self praise is no recommendation!

There are a number of differences if you care to research them?

Would it be less of an issue if they were reading a book or drawing? My DDs are older now and we're kids before iPads so we would take colouring and books with us. We spoke to our girls all the time. When they are young children get bored quickly and can disturb others. It's ok saying parents should train their children but in the real world children aren't little robots.

well the iPads are even more disturbing when the cartoons are being played and no headphones used, which usually seems to be the case.

Quality time is totally irrelevant? The question is about allowing kids to eat WHILST on screens

Me and DH enjoy a nice meal to DS it's just food (he will eat anything). We have a rule of no phone/ipad at the pool so lunch is his time to chill and message friends. I'm currently eating my lunch surfing Mumsnet

The fact you’ve asked ‘When did everything become about ASD??’ leads me to assume you don’t have children or grandchildren with ASD, is that correct? It smacks of someone who perceives the diagnosis as one massive eye roll and most likely down to bad parenting as ‘there never used to be ASD/ADHD’ when I was at school! etc. I can’t even be bothered to go into that shit.

I’m certainly not making excuses for everyone and everything (hyperbole much?). I’m pointing out that parents who have chdn with ASD are primarily just trying to have a family meal in public like ever other family is allowed to do, and if they have to use a device to help their child sit at the table without being disruptive to others what the hell is the problem?! Surely that’s a good thing! If the child is wearing headphones or has the volume at a low setting, how is that any different from sitting next to a table where there are multiple people talking to one another - some adults behave far worse and don’t care who they disturb with their loud conversation, swearing and raucous laughter etc. That’s more acceptable?

It staggers me how ppl can admit to being so judgmental of others when they have no idea what the circumstances actually are. If the sole purpose is to prevent the children from impacting on others, that’s showing consideration, why would you or anyone else have a problem with that?

My dad and I were chatting about it and he said it was the same for smoking he smoked from 12 and no one realised how damaging it was until decades later.

Can’t imagine anyone offering their -2 year old a fav nowadays can we?

Well, having had at least 3 hours of 'me time' in the sun next to the pool, whilst her 6 and 9 yr olds are presumably interacting with someone else, they'll have plenty to chat about over dinner!

I was thinking the same about the posters who are eager to tell us all how they simply must use screens at dinner because they're such amazing parents all the rest of the time and their children are so exhausted from their exotic, outdoorsy activities... Outside of MN I haven't seen much evidence that the people who have their children on screens throughout meals are massively attentive the rest of the time, I'd say the correlation very much goes the other way.

I agree with you OP. I don’t believe that most children most of the time are done any favours by tablets and phones used as babysitters.

And yeah, I’m going to say it, I do think it’s better parenting to encourage a child to sit at a table without electronics, talk and learn to socialise during a meal. Paper and pencils work well as everybody can take an interest, join in drawing etc, play consequences etc. I’m not claiming to be a perfect parent (far from it), but that one’s a no-brainer.

Well you can't be having a great time if you've had time to notice this at every meal. Is your own company that bad?

How does this impact your life? What concern is it of yours?

Has it ever crossed your mind that some of these children may have SEN? That parents of these children would never have a holiday or be able to eat out without the help of these ipads.

Live your life and keep your judgement to yourself.

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned how would you know? Also OP doesn't use screens at dinner, but spent a looong time on MN therefore not interacting with her children, so I'm not sure your argument is a good one. In fact I'd say it's very flawed .

The notion that it is just a snapshot and not representative of the rest of the time is a bit sketchy.

Not your business stop judging

Adults are often also seen consuming alcohol, and even smoking (outside).

Doesn't mean toddlers need to be doing the same.