To be p*ssed off at partner for holiday etiquette

[Evaka]

DP of seven years and I on a fab holiday somewhere hot and far from the UK. Having a lovely time overall. Currently in a huge, hectic but fun city. Today we spent a couple of hours apart - he went off to send postcards and I came back to hotel to swim. He joined me briefly in the pool and said he was hungry. I said I'd join him for lunch out and about. We both got out of the pool, i sat down to finish the end of a drink, he gathered his stuff and said 'I'll message you if I find somewhere nice'. I was annoyed and said so. I thought it was rude and impatient. He got pretty angry in return and stood over me insisting that i looked relaxed so he decided I'd rather follow him, and I often do my own thing in our regular life in London. Felt like a weak explanation. He has a bit of form for this sort of thing but is generally a gentle soul. He's gone, I'm looking at 10 loved up couples around me and wondering why my man wouldn't want to sit with me by a glorious pool for 10 mins before heading out together. So who's being unreasonable?!

But who the hell sends postcards these days?

Exactly. Postcards my arse. He was buying drugs.

The issue here is he clearly told you he was hungry. You said you’d join him, you then sat down and started enjoying your drink. Can you really not see the issue?
and it is not great you can’t spend too much time together.

however in this, when he said he was hungry and going for lunch, why do you think he had to sit there and wait for you to finish your drink.

wtf?

Ah, I love the good old Mumsnet leap.

Hope your having a nice time in mexico

I think it was meant as a joke. It made me laugh anyway 😆

If I get out the pool I want to dry off before lunch so I'd assume at least 20 minutes before we go. He also should have asked of you were ready to go.

But who the hell sends postcards these days?

I send a postcard to one of my friends, as she does to me, whenever we go on holiday. She and I were friends at school and we’re now officially MN old, so it’s become a tradition! Dh and I always used to send postcards to our parents, when away, because they appreciated receiving them. Also grandchildren, now, love the novelty of getting something through the post. There’s still room for a postcard!

He was hungry and really wanted to eat, you wanted to stay at the pool but told him you'd come too. Neither of you are wrong- but I know ow I get hangry sometimes and if I felt the other person wasn't moving when I really wanted to find a restaurant I'd probably get a wee bit annoyed too.

Eh?
We send postcards when we're away 🤷🏼‍♀️

I just use a towel. Takes about 2 mins.

Probably hangry- it would annoy me if I was hungry and you wanted to lounge around for another 10 minutes. May seem like just 10 minutes but then you have to find somewhere and wait to be seated etc that could be another 2 hours before food touches your lips.

I always carry a snickers 😂

@Janetime what about your swimsuit? I'm envisioning clothes on over swimsuit for lunch as opposed to getting changed.
Maybe it's all the padding in my bikini top 😂 but it doesn't dry instantly.

I feel he should have asks if she was ready to go. And even without a drying issue she was finishing her drink. Surely it's reasonable to wait a few minutes if someone's got a drink.

They were going out, so I’d have just changed and started to make moves.

tne issue here is that she just sat down and started drinking her drink. So lack of communication. When will we go, can I have a few mins, or are you hungry and I should meet you when you find someplace.

YABU

There was nothing wrong with what he suggested. If you were going to need to finish your drink, you should have said so when he mentioned going for lunch.

My DH is a hangry sort which annoys me and hangry people in general who can’t just carry an emergency snack with them I’ve learned to work around it for the most part especially on holidays. He does exactly what your DH was going to do and I meet him there or I give him a time of how long I’m going to be and he will either have a snack (bag of crisp) and we head out together to a place he researched beforehand or he has a solo lunch and I’ll eat something a bit later.

I don’t get hangry, but if I said to my husband I’m off for lunch I’m hungry and he said oh I will come with you. Then sat down and started leisurely drinking his beer I’d be annoyed,and prob say I’m off, join me when you’re ready,

I don’t get hangry, but if I said to my husband I’m off for lunch I’m hungry and he said oh I will come with you. Then sat down and started leisurely drinking his beer I’d be annoyed,and prob say I’m off, join me when you’re ready

This 100%. A bit annoying to say you'll join him but then sit down for a drink. Why not let him go ahead then?

Also a bit strange to say you need time apart every day on holiday....doesn't sound like you like each other enough.

Postcards..?

Did you use your words? And say hang on, give me 5 minutes, I'm just finishing and I will come with you?

It's just a lack of communication. Just talk to each other more.

I find it weird that he said he would go ahead on his own. He couldn't wait 10 minutes until you were ready? It's good to do things separately but i would think for dinner you would go together.

Well you said he gets hangry so YABU. Get off Mumsnet and enjoy your hols. you have to pick your battles.

Sounds like you should both go on holiday on your own next time. You can send postcards to each other.

He's got crackhead written all over him!!!

When im hungry im have to eat or i get a little cranky.
I dont want to wait around until someone has finished their drink and relaxing sit down when they said they want to come to.