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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want to throttle dh?

58 replies

queenofthedumbquestion · 21/03/2008 16:09

He's got a cold aka the dreaded man flu. I've been looking forward to Easter weekend for soooo long, a bit of company, a bit of help with 10month ds, family time etc. Ha! He took a day off work yesterday, sat around, napped during the day (luxury) while I took ds out and about. Today, when he's a little better, and wouldn't have been at work anyway, he's worse. Lolling about on the sofa, watching rugby, coughing and spluttering in a suspiciously forced manner, talkiing in a poorly voice. So, again, I've had to entertain ds, even though its pissing down outside and there's bugger all to do. And we're going away tomorrow, so I've also had all the washing and packing to do. he says he can't help being ill, which is true, but my point is, I can't have a day off when "I'm just sooo tired, I just want a little nap". Why do we have to carry on and they get to act like they've got the plague.
I do know that actually I'm being a cow, I just wanted a rant

OP posts:
Original poster
queenofthedumbquestion · 21/03/2008 22:36

Xenia, much as it pains me to admit I'm a little in the wrong about anything to do with dh, I think you're right. I have let him get away with it, partly by making such a big deal about it, and partly by letting myself get wound up. Shame clarity only comes after wine and after he's been in bed for three hours.

OP posts:
Spockster · 21/03/2008 22:39

You must not pander to these people, just laugh at them and tell them to get on with it; if they argue with you they are not ill. If they don't reply, just pop your wine glass down and check on them; in case they are dead.
This attitude may be why I didn't last as a GP. However, I have robust children and a sensibel DH who doesn't get ill. Much.

vInTaGeVioLeT · 21/03/2008 22:41

i'm very unsympathetic when dp is "poorly" - i manage about a day of being kind and considerate - then i start getting mightily peed off - luckily my dp is more of a soldiering on type and it's very rare for him to take time off work.

i did ask after his last illness what would happen if i caught it?
who would look after me?
would he take a day off so i could lounge about watching "60 minute makeover" and such shite , coughing wanting tea and sympathy? dp laughed and said he'd phone his mother to help out . . . . . AAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrGGGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhh

Original poster
queenofthedumbquestion · 21/03/2008 22:45

Wow. I've made it to a three-pager. That'll do for me! But to add more in my defence - I'm due to have 4 (!!!!) wisodm teeth out soon. DH has said he might be able to take a day off to help with ds. Not entirely sure what he thinks the other options may be

OP posts:
Spockster · 21/03/2008 22:53

We really should train our daughters to watch out for this trait in men before they commit thmeselves to having children with them. Anyone else find this pathetic tendency rather un-sexy????
Sorry, feeling a bit intolerant tonight (wine). Also have a best pal with such a DH; he does my head in, though the whole family is a bit that way inclined and my mate definitely colludes.

Judy1234 · 22/03/2008 07:34

I did work with someone very senior who took 2 days off when his wife, a housewife, had flu or a cold to help look after the 6 year old at home. So yes some men do do that.

But just be firm. If someone is made to cope they just have to. If there's someone there to help then they will default to that.

I haven't caught any germs this year for the first year I think ever and that coincides with giving up junk food, caffeine, sugar and bread but that might be a bit radical for some. I feel much better by the way. It's incredible that that could have such an effect on my immune system when normally it's so poor I get 6 or 7 germs at least a year (not that they ever stop me working because we starve and I don't get paid if I don't work so that's a pretty good incentive to keep going)

amidaiwish · 22/03/2008 08:10

Last time dh was ill, i gave him very little sympathy...

However he got really quite bad and ended up at the doctors ("if you're that bad, see the doctor" - so he did). They were very worried, did blood tests (he had been away with work, they were worried he may have a nasty virus or malaria )

He was ok in the end, but definitely very ill.

I felt bad... though he does have a tendency to man-flu but i don't take any notice of him.

hercules1 · 22/03/2008 08:49

I don't quite understand the earlier comments about shit stirring. Were they aimed at me?

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