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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that £500 a month is enough for a child at uni

555 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/02/2024 20:39

we will pay his accommodation and his tuition fees will be paid, so this will just be for food and travel etc

OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 08/02/2024 09:05

I have another DC at uni living at home in London to save money, and she gets £300 pm. Nearly half of that goes for transport as we are not walking distance from uni. She worked last holidays for a trip away, but is doing a much less punishing course. She has had real trouble finding jobs though.

Rosesanddaisies1 · 08/02/2024 09:09

That's way too much, all students should have part time jobs - will be far more useful than their degrees.

Jarstastic · 08/02/2024 09:10

Whatafustercluck · 08/02/2024 08:56

I do get it, honestly. It does bother me that young adults and their parents are increasingly seriously considering not going to uni because it's so expensive now. And I do have a vested interest for my own dc (7 and 13yo) so I'm trying to 'educate' myself about the real costs, which i know are a far cry from a few decades ago. Of course we'll support them with as much as we can afford, and we've been saving a small amount each month since they were born (which I think we now need to increase) which we will gift to them when they turn 18, to give them and bit of a leg up. I think most parents have been trying to save up over the years with a view to doing something similar.

But I simultaneously believe that students should work to contribute to their uni experience. Courses have always required intensive study, but there seems to be a growing, creeping belief that young adults can't possibly be expected to have part time jobs in case it interferes with their studies. Gym memberships are a luxury many working adults can't afford, yet (if this thread is anything to go by) are commonplace among students. Car insurance is expensive for young people, yes, but i would consider having a car at uni a massive luxury.

£500 per month, in addition to having accommodation fees paid, is a lot when op has said they're also expecting their dc to work and contribute. Few parents can afford those kinds of sums, op's dc is very, very fortunate.

Edited

My tip on this is unless you are already saving over £20k per person yourselves in an ISA not to save in their names.

DH had child funds but we have stopped contributing to these and focusing on our stocks and shares ISAs. We will only reconsider if we go over our yearly allowance of £20k each. (Not anywhere near at the moment.). We want the money to be spent for university or something worthwhile.

SummerDays2020 · 08/02/2024 09:11

I think £500 is more than enough. A student can work in the holidays to save up money. I do understand the point that some courses are more intense. However, when I did my nursing degree I was either in Uni full days 4 or 5 days a week or on placement full time plus lectures at the hospital. We had lots of assignments and exams all through the year as well as mentor set learning and skills learning when on placement. Only 7 weeks holiday and I had children and a house to run and like many others mums worked throughout. So I'm sure a youngster could fit some work in if they want extra money.

Lalalalala555 · 08/02/2024 09:11

Wow.

I was lucky enough my parents paid my rent (ie room in a shared house).
That was it.

Then my student loan was for everything else. Ie food and bills and textbooks and hobbies and equipment.

I got a part time job, which helped massively with both money but also with getting job offers and placements.
I worked the summers getting placements.

Tbh if you give to much money, there is less incentive to build up work experience. I chose to do placements because I needed the money so badly. But! It meant that later on, I came to be more successful in being picked for jobs because I had experience. I had friends who didn't do placements or work. And they seemed to struggle more.

If you have a part time job, and you earn £50 pw, that's ~ 200 a month. And if you're student loan works out at about 200 a month, you effectively double your money available to you.

If I were you, as a parent, I'd cover their rent. Maybe help out with big purchases like if a laptop breaks. But definitely teach them money skills like building an emergency fund. You could do this where you say you'll give half of what they add in upto x amount. That way you are forming habits and encouraging.

I think it can be a problem just throwing money at young people, because it can create too much security and not build knowledge.
You want to aim to gently transition them from being totally dependent on you to not at all. And teach them skills to manage finances.

:)

Sartre · 08/02/2024 09:12

More than enough. I’d imagine he’s living in student digs so travel shouldn’t be much of an issue? Food definitely does not cost £500 a month for one teenager. He’ll have a blast with that cash.

SummerDays2020 · 08/02/2024 09:14

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/02/2024 21:04

To clarify some of the questions, we are in Jersey so can’t get the student loan. We have to pay full maintenance. His accommodation is likely to be 17k a year in private halls, so was hoping 5k would see to the rest of it. Anything else he has to work for

Why is accommodation so expensive now - it's ridiculous! What do the get for the 17k?

NotSorry · 08/02/2024 09:15

FunnysInLaJardin · 07/02/2024 10:22

This is exactly how I feel. I want him to be able to have a good quality varied diet and not live in junk because that is all he can afford.

I want his time away at uni to be as enjoyable and comfortable as possible. We've cared for him for 18 years and it seems perverse that this should stop just because he is moving out to study.

We can afford to give him £500 a month during term time and so that's what we will do!

My son has £60 a week and I'm constantly asking him if he has enough money for food. He doesn't really drink so I think that makes a difference and he has a small tutoring job that he does weekly so that helps.

None of my children who went to uni had a part-time job, their courses are/were full on and I'd rather they focussed on their degree. I told all of my DC "your job is to get a job and to do that you need your (relevant) degree, so we will support you financially so you can focus on that".

£500 per month will be plenty OP and your son will be able to eat well on that budget. We always sent our money weekly (agreed with our DC) so that they only had to get to the beginning of the next week if they were running short.

SummerDays2020 · 08/02/2024 09:18

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/02/2024 21:05

And on the basis he is home for the holidays. So only 30ish weeks at uni

So he has 4 months he could work in the holidays? Does he have a job already? He could earn a lot in that time.

bouncydog · 08/02/2024 09:22

@FunnysInLaJardin we’re in Guernsey and our DD was in UK at Bath several years ago so fully appreciate the costs! She was in International halls as some of the UK students tended to go home at weekends so worth asking if this is a possibility. We transferred DD’s allowance weekly to help her manage her money and also paid phone contract, air fares etc on top. £500 should be enough but not enough to be out every night!

fuzzyduck1 · 08/02/2024 09:23

With cider at £5.50 a bottle they can only get 90 bottles a month.
nowhere near enough

CousinGreg55 · 08/02/2024 09:25

SummerDays2020 · 08/02/2024 09:14

Why is accommodation so expensive now - it's ridiculous! What do the get for the 17k?

My ds is in his first year and we went to a lot of open days and looked into the accommodation costs of a lot of halls. 17k is way above anything we saw. Most are between 5k and 8k. Maybe more if catered but the 17k one is self catered. My ds is paying 6.2k for a very nice ensuite.
The problem is the OP's son is going somewhere without halls so they are having to look at private halls which are expensive.

Gensola · 08/02/2024 09:32

I find it hard to believe 17k for halls. my DSS is at Bristol and the most expensive halls there are £8.5k per year - Bristol
is one of the most expensive university towns in the UK and I can’t see Brighton being double the cost …

Tempnamechng · 08/02/2024 09:43

£500 sounds plenty. I think I'll give my eldest £350 a month - half in her bank and half on her uni payment card. We only qualify for minimum maintenance and halls are £8k pa. She has a holidays job for back home - just minimum wage, but its fine for spending money. I would prefer her not to work term time, unless it helps her mental health to work a little. We could afford to give her more, but have to remember that just because we can it doesn't mean we should - we want her to have financial responsibility. Her maintenance will go towards halls and we'll pay extras such as phone and car expenses. Its unlikely, but if she runs out of food money we can top up her uni card a little.

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2024 09:50

Is it only my feckless DC who have had trouble finding pub or waitressing jobs in London? They both ended up tutoring or working as TAs. Constantly told by restaurants they didn't want students and wanted people who would stay longer.

Fawklight · 08/02/2024 09:52

I survived on what I ernt when I wasn't at uni.

I had to buy materials for my course as well as food, cleaning materials, clothes, bedding ect.

It depends what course it is. Art/design was expensive 😬

Era · 08/02/2024 09:53

Tempnamechng · 08/02/2024 09:43

£500 sounds plenty. I think I'll give my eldest £350 a month - half in her bank and half on her uni payment card. We only qualify for minimum maintenance and halls are £8k pa. She has a holidays job for back home - just minimum wage, but its fine for spending money. I would prefer her not to work term time, unless it helps her mental health to work a little. We could afford to give her more, but have to remember that just because we can it doesn't mean we should - we want her to have financial responsibility. Her maintenance will go towards halls and we'll pay extras such as phone and car expenses. Its unlikely, but if she runs out of food money we can top up her uni card a little.

presumably you mean you'll pay the extra £3500 a month towards her rent plus give her £350 a month.

Otherwise she'll have a shortfall of £1000 before she even starts eating.

£350 a month is £11.50 a day to live on

HeyLovee · 08/02/2024 09:53

Wow my parents gave me nothing when I went to uni. I got a part time job and used my loan.

cloudtree · 08/02/2024 09:54

HeyLovee · 08/02/2024 09:53

Wow my parents gave me nothing when I went to uni. I got a part time job and used my loan.

RTFT. You had a loan.

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2024 09:55

@HeyLovee OP does not get a loan. Neither do we.

Tempnamechng · 08/02/2024 09:55

Era · 08/02/2024 09:53

presumably you mean you'll pay the extra £3500 a month towards her rent plus give her £350 a month.

Otherwise she'll have a shortfall of £1000 before she even starts eating.

£350 a month is £11.50 a day to live on

Yes of course, the £350 is just spending money, so food and drink.

Hardbackwriter · 08/02/2024 09:59

SecondUsername4me · 05/02/2024 14:06

What % of take home pay do you give her? If we gave £500 pcm to our dd at uni (not there yet) it would be 13% of our take home pay! Same as the mortgage. It's untenable.

13% of take home doesn't seem crazy to me? I'm in a very different place - and generation - so I guess my expectations are different but since we currently spend 22% of our take home on childcare (and another 21% on the mortgage - 13% sounds like a dream!) it doesn't seem so wildly out of whack for supporting a child at university.

Seeline · 08/02/2024 10:04

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2024 09:50

Is it only my feckless DC who have had trouble finding pub or waitressing jobs in London? They both ended up tutoring or working as TAs. Constantly told by restaurants they didn't want students and wanted people who would stay longer.

No it's not! And it's similar in many other student towns/cities. The job market has changed. Zero hour contracts don't guarantee work and other part time jobs often require a minimum number of hours equivalent to over 2 full days. And set shifts. And they won't hold a job if students return home. In addition, both mine have timetables which are different from week to week which makes it even harder to do set shifts.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 08/02/2024 10:04

If that is what you can afford, I personally would help as much as I could so if £500 is what I could afford £500 is what it would be.

If, I could afford £750 then I would give £750, or if I could afford £450 then that's what I would give.

MamaAlwaysknowsbest · 08/02/2024 10:05

If he is clever, he can put 300 away in a bank account