Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Newly diagnosed, husband not asked a thing about it

52 replies

flufalump · 04/02/2024 19:45

Hey, I am trying to judge if I am being silly or not for feeling upset.
I have been having tests for a couple of months and last week was diagnosed with endometriosis and adenmyosis. This is along side an anteriour and posterior prolapse that they have also found and discovering I am pretty anemic ( this all answers why I have been feeling pretty crap)…..
So I will be having a prolapse repair and a laparoscopy/ possible hysterectomy in the next few months.
I am not normally a moaner, I pull my weight with the house and kids, work full time, never take time off sick ( just setting the context that this isn't a case of oh here we go again with your moaning about being ill)

My husband has not asked me one thing about it, we had a conversation after the appointment and that was it. He hasn't asked how I'm feeling, if I'm ok, nothing. I whatappex him a couple of tictoks about it just to sort of prompt him maybe and he saw them but nothing back.
We normally have what I would consider a decent relationship so this has left me feeling a bit sad and tearful at the lack of care.
So am I being unreasonable to feel this way or do I just need to put my big girl pants on?

OP posts:
MangshorJhol · 05/02/2024 11:37

How is he void of empathy? Man has just booked his wife a holiday.

DH has never bought me flowers in his life. He’s a totally equal parent, including the mental load (remembers to buy birthday gifts for parties when I don’t). If I was sick he would do EVERYTHING and more. But I doubt he would have a conversation with me about it unless I specifically asked him to. But I did have a semi serious illness once and he researched the crap out of treatment options (he’s a physician and we are in the US) and advocated for me really well. No flowers or massages but he cooked, cleaned and made sure I got the best treatment.

And no he doesn’t moan when he’s sick.

I hope OP can have the conversation she needs to have with her DH but this really doesn’t sound like this is a man who is about to abandon his wife because she’s sick.

MCOut · 05/02/2024 12:27

Bless, that’s a great update. You can talk to him about what you need on your break, but at least there has been a reaction and you now know it’s not indifference to your feelings.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page