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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I have got any money

27 replies

Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 18:54

Ex husband moved in with me and my children.
I rented. He Contributed I think 30 a week for food.(15 years ago)

2 years later he then buys a house with a deposit half from my family half from his. £10k each All done as surprise ?!! Surprise I’m not on the mortgage but apparently there was deed of trust between my family and him.

Had a child with him before we moved.

Lived there for 3 years and contributed 100% of my wages.(Paid directly to his account was part time so maybe 600 odd but still 100%)

I left him due to various reasons (no violence or cheating ) and rented and he said he would pay the deposit back when he sold. He stayed a further 9 years.

paid no maintenance. I had to ask for half of what our daughter needed. No regular contribution. At all.

he sells house and makes £180k profit.

wont give deposit back. Nothing.

AIBU for thinking I should have had something for our daughter at least ?

OP posts:
laclochette · 04/02/2024 18:55

What was the financial settlement agreed in your divorce?!

MatildaTheCat · 04/02/2024 18:55

Consult a lawyer. A deed of trust is a legal document surely?

Globetrote · 04/02/2024 18:56

You need a solicitor. What has your family got to say about the deed of trust?

Original poster
Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 18:57

We haven’t divorced yet. Another long winded story …

OP posts:
Lovingitallnow · 04/02/2024 18:57

Get your divorce and 50% so.

xmaspanic · 04/02/2024 18:58

You probably should have registered interest in the property so that the funds wouldn't be dispersed - at least I think that is the what it is called. He could spend all that before you get to divorce

Original poster
Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 18:58

my dad passed who actually gave the money. And the solicitor has said that unless it actually said LOAN when the transfer was done it’s hard to prove. Miraculously no one seems to know about the deed of trust either .

OP posts:
Windmill34 · 04/02/2024 18:59

When did he sell it ? Recently? Years ago?

Original poster
Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 19:00

about a year

OP posts:
DirtyKit · 04/02/2024 19:00

Is “the” solicitor your solicitor? Paid by you?
You need someone good representing your interests. This isn’t a matter for unqualified ransoms on the net.

PonyPatter44 · 04/02/2024 19:00

Get a lawyer. It was your marital home, you are entitled to a share, but you need to pull your finger out before he pisses every penny of the profit up the wall.

Hankunamatata · 04/02/2024 19:00

What does the deed of trust say? What does your solicitor say?

Original poster
Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 19:01

It is my solicitor saying this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 19:01

Thank you everyone. I will push for the divorce.

OP posts:
Changingplace · 04/02/2024 19:02

If you were married the house is a marital asset so you’d be entitled to 50%, what is your solicitor saying if you’re not divorced yet?

DirtyKit · 04/02/2024 19:04

But your solicitor should be advising you on strategy. Not just answering your questions with a shrug and sorry, nothing we can do about that.

talk to some alternatives and see if you can engage someone with a bit more cop on.

Quitelikeit · 04/02/2024 19:04

Hilarious that he thinks you are so dumb you do not realise that half of the house is yours due to marriage.

Even more bizarre that he could have given you your deposit back and you’d have been happy

Where is he going to live now?

Changingplace · 04/02/2024 19:04

Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 19:01

It is my solicitor saying this.

Saying what? You were married so you’re entitled to 50% - if your solicitor isn’t saying that you need a better one.m

Go for 50% of the equity plus the deposit.

Changingplace · 04/02/2024 19:06

Forgotmylogindetails · 04/02/2024 18:58

my dad passed who actually gave the money. And the solicitor has said that unless it actually said LOAN when the transfer was done it’s hard to prove. Miraculously no one seems to know about the deed of trust either .

Did you not have a copy of the deed of trust?

TeaKitten · 04/02/2024 19:08

Why do you have to push for a divorce? Just start the divorce off! Seriously what are you waiting for? You’ve been split 10 years and he sold the house and refused to give you the money a year ago, I can’t understand why you are holding off.

Midwinter91 · 04/02/2024 20:35

If you’re going to be this stupid in the management of your financial affairs, you will be taken advantage of. I’m sorry OP but this is on you.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/02/2024 20:37

Get a divorce and a financial settlement!

Why would you wait to see if someone will kindly give you what you have a legal right to?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/02/2024 20:40

This is so bonkers though- why would your family be happy to buy the money just to him at the time?

Livelovebehappy · 04/02/2024 20:44

Tbh OP sounds like you’ve been a bit slack in setting this up formally right from the start. It sounds like it’s going to be long and drawn out even if you take to Court. Never assume people have values and morals, because they really don’t. Always get everything in writing and documented. Verbal agreements mean nothing as they’re difficult to prove.

Jk8 · 04/02/2024 20:59

Sorry but you must have forfeited this just by pure stupidity ???? Unless you can find this supposed document he had with your dad & your in your father's will as the beneficiary I can't imagine you have much of a case