To think this is self care?

[ToxicOstrich]

Lighthearted.

My friend thinks I'm bonkers calling my cleaning sessions 'self care'. My son sees his dad once every 3 weeks for a whole day (9-6). In this time I put my pyjamas back on, put some loud music on and clean my house, whilst singing, dancing and will have a glass of wine. This for me is self care. Taking the time to make my house look lovely. Decluttering. Singing and listening to my favourite songs.

She thinks this can't possibly be self care, and that self care is a spa day or retail therapy.

What would you do for 'self care' if you only had one day to yourself every 3 weeks?

Having some therapy currently. my therapist suggested I don’t clean my house this morning when I had 2 hours for myself as I needed some self care time.
I suggested that if my house was cleaner I’d feel more relaxed.
I cleaned. I feel better 🍷

Absolutely ridiculous he only sees his son once every three weeks

I'm glad it makes you happy but it is a bit depressing that even after 150 years of feminism women are telling themselves that they can find fulfillment from doing housework. Do you think that Churchill or Mandela or Napoleon told themselves that?

Everybody has different things they do, that they like and gives them a sense of achievement. Just because somebody does something different to you, doesn't make it tragic, etc. Could you imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same?

Do you not get that feeling of calm and zen with a spotless house?

I don't even know why I'm writing that tbh, I'm messy AF. AND when I go on a blitz and clean my flat to zen-state, I instantly 'reward' myself with a coffee. Then I leave the cupboard open, the lid off the coffee, the wet spoon on the side etc and ruin all my hard work

But I do appreciate that 10 seconds when the cleaning is done and it hasn't been wrecked yet...

If it makes you feel good and has a lasting effect then ofcourse it's self care. It's like an extension of changing your bed and having nice crisp sheets, but for the whole house.

It's a lot more work though, isn't it. Than just changing sheets.

Self care is anything that improves your mental or physical health I think, so it's very individual. I count tidying my bedroom and changing my sheets as self care

Yeah but it's work she happens to enjoy.

When I have the house to myself, there is nothing I love more than pottering about my own lovely home and making it look pretty 😍

Yanbu. OP

Could you add a bath or a face pack to the end? Or finish a.few hours early and do something just for you? I agree it is a form of self care but a shame to use every day off to clean. 🧼

My self-care is ironing with a favourite show on, as I don’t realise how much I’m getting done as I’m absorbed in the show. My family know that if the house is “calm” ie tidy, I’m calmer and happier. Mess puts me on edge despite my ADHD meaning that I can be quite disorganised.

One of the loveliest feelings in the world is sitting down at the end of the day, relaxing, after working hard all day for YOU. Not someone else.
I love being granted the time to get on with MY stuff. I spend the majority of my time doing stuff for other people.
Today I have some really hard-core dirty work to get on with. I will be filthy at the end. But I will set my schedule, I will reap the rewards, and it will give me a real sense of satisfaction.
No one else is allowed to dictate what is self care for you.

If it makes you feel good... go for it.
People get endorphins from different things... relaxing, sport, learning nature, achievement. Different strokes for different folks. My MIL enjoys pairing socks.

I rather like a tidy room... just don't like the process of getting there. And knowing my family just need to breathe in its general direction and its a mess again.

A child free selfcare day for me is a quick tidy-up, clean the kitchen, put on a load of washing, then I can escape outside.

A run through the woods or hours in the garden or greenhouse, weeding, planting, pruning. A few hours later, all is right with the world 😊

Then music on, a soak in the bath to get clean, defrost a chilli, hoover round while it's simmering.

I go to a spa day about once every 10 years. There are so many other ways to enjoy the money.

I treat myself to an expensive handbag. Mulberry or LV usually.

Horses for courses. Meadowfinch just said she finds gardening therapeutic. I’m not well enough to garden these days but half an hour in the garden gave me suicidal thoughts… not in a I want to die kind of way, but a feeling that dying would be preferable.

I love a clean house and wish I’d more energy to get my house sparkling weekly as I used to. My cleaner comes fortnightly but isn’t here long enough to do the deep cleaning, which I tackle sporadically.

The only thing that worries me in this is the 9am wine drinking.

Absolutely it's self-care. I find cleaning can be cathartic.

You will never convince me Napoleon wasn't a neat freak who enjoyed going to bed each night in a clean room, next to a lavender scented candle, sipping chamomile tea. You just won't.

I love having a clean pretty home. Definitely an act of self care and brilliant for mental health.

Sunday house blitz is my self care too! (amongst many other things) My space being tidy and clean is important to me. So it's always tidy, but there is something extra special about hoover lines in the carpet and the scent of zoflora on a Sunday afternoon 😍😍.

I'm not one lighting candles, terrified of fire.

My son and his dog are staying at his girlfriend's this weekend and I've woken up early, excited to get started cleaning the house!!

I had a lovely afternoon yesterday out with friends, but when I got home I had to hoover downstairs before I could sit and enjoy the tv with a glass of wine.

I'm with you op - having a clean and tidy house makes me feel good for days. Bonus points if I've shopped and meal prepped for the week too 😉

Love it, once a week hubby on his day off will take our kids out for the day and I do the whole house and thoroughly enjoy myself. When we first married he thought I was nuts at how much I enjoy cleaning. It's my de stress,chill activity and now he knows that's all I need each week to stay a happy bunny lol

Anything that makes you feel good, increases mood, motivates you, makes you smile etc etc, be that dancing round the house with a feather duster to Dancing Queen or going for brisk walk is ‘self care’.

I agree. I sing to my cds when I cook. Very t herapeutic.