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Original poster

Chances of a healthy baby at 40?

128 replies

babyat40 · 03/02/2024 20:00

I'm 39 this year. I have 2 children but wouldn't rule out a 3rd as I still have that nagging feeling that I'm not quite "done" yet.

My question is... what are my chances of conceiving a healthy baby at 39/40? Anyone got experience of this, or older? Any positive or negatives equally welcome!

Thank you.

OP posts:
Corondel · 03/02/2024 20:04

I don’t think anecdotes are any help to you here, OP. For what it’s worth, I had my only child two months before turning 40, conceived first month, straightforward pregnancy and birth, delightful eight-pounder (who never slept, but you can’t have everything…)

ElleLeopine · 03/02/2024 20:05

I conceived DD just a few days before my 40th birthday.
Pregnancy was straightforward until the final weeks when my blood pressure went up, but we were expecting this as I had pre-eclampsia with my first 11 years earlier!
She is now a very happy and healthy almost 14 year old.

berksandbeyond · 03/02/2024 20:06

Statistics wouldn’t be on your side, but lots of people will say they had healthy children!

Original poster
babyat40 · 03/02/2024 20:07

I had my first in my 20s and my 2nd at 36. 2nd was without complication and is a healthy toddler now. But I know there's a world of difference between 36 and 39/40 in terms of fertility isn't there.

OP posts:
Hatty65 · 03/02/2024 20:08

I don't think anyone can tell you. Women are all different.

I'd have liked another baby. I had 4 miscarriages, all around the 11 week mark, between 39 and 42, despite having had three healthy, easy pregnancies before this.

It was clearly not meant to be. Obviously the quality of my eggs wasn't great by my late 30s.

AWellReadWoman · 03/02/2024 20:09

I had a miscarriage at 40 but gave birth to a healthy baby boy last September at 41.

Deargodletitgo · 03/02/2024 20:10

I had a healthy pregnancy at 40, four months to conceive. Everyone is different though

AntiHop · 03/02/2024 20:11

I had a healthy pregnancy at 43.

Jeevesnotwooster · 03/02/2024 20:11

Had very healthy baby when I was 40. Got pregnant fairly quickly. I was noticeablely more tired during that pregnancy than at 36. Might have been due to other factors.

NinaGeiger · 03/02/2024 20:12

I'm 39 and pregnant. I got pregnant just as quickly this time round as I did last time, in my mid 30s.

Sapphire387 · 03/02/2024 20:13

No experience. Like you, I'm 39 this year. I have DS13, DD10, DSD9 (full time with us) and DD6m.

I'd love to have one more with my husband- we just have DD6m together and were both formerly widowed.

But... but. My body just won't take it, I think. I had a miscarriage before my baby DD and another in my twenties. All my pregnancies have been plagued with blood pressure issues, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia.

Have your pregnancies so far been straightforward? I think that's very relevant to your decision.

Pineapplewaves · 03/02/2024 20:15

I had a baby at 40 and another at 43, both normal pregnancies and births. I did have a miscarriage at 42 but that could happen to anyone at any age and it wasn't necessarily down to age.

The only problem I had was conceiving, it took a year to get pregnant at 43 and that was using ovulation sticks and an app.

If another baby is what you want then you can only try and see what happens........

Cel77 · 03/02/2024 20:15

First at 37, at 35 weeks. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU because of a lung infection.
He's absolutely fine physically but is autistic.
Second one at 41, after two miscarriages (the most upsetting one was the one we discovered at the three months scan, thinking everything was ok). Born at 38 weeks and 6 days, absolutely fine and thriving at 4 now.
I regret not having them earlier as I'd like to be with them for as long as I can but I'm extremely happy to have them at all.
Good luck.

Londonscallingme · 03/02/2024 20:15

There will be actual statistics available on this, asking mumsnet, if you are interested in actual medical risk is not going to be useful.

Original poster
babyat40 · 03/02/2024 20:16

Londonscallingme · 03/02/2024 20:15

There will be actual statistics available on this, asking mumsnet, if you are interested in actual medical risk is not going to be useful.

I'm more interested in personal experiences but thank you

OP posts:
MrsLeavemealone · 03/02/2024 20:18

I had a baby just before I was 39 1/2. I already had 2 children under 4 and the pregnancy was a complete surprise. Pregnancy was straight forward and I gave birth to a very healthy 9 1/2lb baby after a 2 hour labour.

I was incredibly lucky but I now have 3 teenagers in my 50's - so I am tired and anxious about the worry of them. They are just going through the usual teenage worries of friendship group changes, exams etc.

Externally I seem chilled but internally I'm in knots and not sleeping so well. It probably doesn't help that mine are happy to chat about their worries with me and seek me out to reassure them.

I'm sure this would have been easier if I was younger.

berksandbeyond · 03/02/2024 20:18

Okay well my friend worried about this, conceived on first try at 39, a textbook pregnancy, but has a very unwell child. Not sure how that helps?

cestlavielife · 03/02/2024 20:18

It could be you.
Either way.
Whatever the odds, if it is you - it is you.
Are you happy to take the risk?
What will you do "if"?
Or look at what you already have. And enjoy.

GN637 · 03/02/2024 20:19

I was 38.5 when I gave birth to my 3rd. It never crossed my mind that it might be any different to my first at 30. Dc was a very happy surprise 😃 He's a very happy, healthy 9 year old. I can't give you statistics but lots of women have healthy babies into their 40s.

Original poster
babyat40 · 03/02/2024 20:19

So first pregnancy in my 20s with DD1 was very straightforward, no issues, labour was fast and birth was straightforward. DD2 at 36 was a difficult pregnancy (severe sickness, anaemia etc), found it very hard on my body. Birth was complicated, long labour and baby got stuck and needed assisted delivery in theatre. But she was a very healthy baby nonetheless (and now toddler). Nothing too horrendous that it's enough to put me off another!

OP posts:
Original poster
babyat40 · 03/02/2024 20:20

Oh I meant to say, second baby at 36 was conceived the first month I came off the pill after years and years of being on the pill. I didn't expect that. I was however tracking ovulation using those sticks.

OP posts:
Original poster
babyat40 · 03/02/2024 20:21

berksandbeyond · 03/02/2024 20:18

Okay well my friend worried about this, conceived on first try at 39, a textbook pregnancy, but has a very unwell child. Not sure how that helps?

Edited

Sorry to hear that 🙁

OP posts:
HappyDaze23 · 03/02/2024 20:27

The statistics generally suggest there is only a very slight increase in risks associated with genetic issues etc.

I had my DS at 41. Absolutely no issues during pregnancy at all, I felt great although tired because I also had a three year old to run around after. I’m tired with a two and five year old but that’s probably as much because I have a demanding full time job as it is the kids.

jhpf · 03/02/2024 20:27

I'm 41 and would love another. What will be will be

BugsyDrakeTableScape · 03/02/2024 20:29

First at 34, second at 37, third was born 6 days after my 40th birthday. Yes more tiring - but I didn't have two other children in my other two pregnancies. Also a pandemic to deal with - that wasn't inconsequential. Had GD with #3 which I didn't have with 1 and 2.

Think the tiredness comments are all relative. I was exhausted with 1 but I didn't know any different. Yes 3 is tiring but so are lots of things. #3 is just potty training - have been changing nappies for near on 9 years. Also depressing to think about how many years I'll be doing the school run for at the primary school.

But was it worth it? Absolutely ❤️