Is the concept of a soulmate bullshit?

[Masky123]

I'm away with friends for a birthday. I'm here alone as H at home with DC. They are my close friends but doing my head in and feel belittled and ignored at points. Going to call H for a quick chat but know be will be no help/have v little interest and give me one word responses

Feel quite alone. Do other people have a soulmate? Or is it a stupid unrealistic concept? My friends are fine, my husband tries his best but I don't feel myself truly with any of them. Is that normal?

I'm back in the loo. I tried to go out and talk to people but I just don't have anything to say I used to feel like i had so many brilliant friends. They're all drinking and dancing and I just don't relate to them anymore. I wish I had someone I could call or who I really liked but I don't.

I don’t think they exist.

I do think there are different people who are right for us at different times in our lives, and love can look like a lot of different things. You might experience romantic love in a significantly different way at 21 than you do at 41.

I also think there are some people you just click and connect with in a very effortless way. As if you are both just on the same wavelength and it’s hard to explain, you’re just in tune. It’s rarer/harder to find these people though - and it’s not always romantic.

Yes, DH is my soulmate and has been for 35 years since I was 17. The only person who really gets me

Some people just click without effort. DH and my childhood friend fit this. I can be awful, they can be awful, it's fine, we still love each other because there is that deep understanding. DS I feel with every muscle in my body, I've always understood what he feels from being a tiny baby and vice versa.

A few close work friends, we have a thing we can just look at each other and know all their thoughts. It's useful. I don't love them like the examples above.

A soul has many partners, find yours.

I'm happily married, having known DH since I was 16. I can and do talk to him about anything and he is the person I am most myself around.

I still think the concept of a soulmate is bullshit. What are the chances our soulmates nearly always live in the same country? 8 billion people and my soulmate handily goes to the same college as me? Nah.

I am certain there are several people just right for me, I just luckily happened to find the most local one.

My DH is my soulmate. I never believed in them until I met him.

@GRex oh I get that with my kids. God yes. Unbreakable and totally instinctive. Nothing else comes close.

I don't think so, but then I don't believe in souls.

I think you could either grit your teeth and get on the dance floor, or write tonight off and go home. Hiding and feeling miserable isn't working.

No such thing as souls or soulmates. The only people I know who talk about being with their soulmate, are actually in vaguely cruel relationships but have been sold a fantasy. They cling to the notion.

I am happily married and have been for 25yrs. I don't want anybody else. He doesn't. It works.

You are lonely at the very least. You say you haven't always felt this way. Is there anything hormonal happening? Or any challenges to your mental health?

I think it's the case for some people and not for others and generally that's OK.

I'm not a very romantic person, I don't feel DH is my soulmate, but in nearly 20 years together I've never regretted being with him or met anyone who's made me wish I wasn't with DH . I agree with @CurlewKate about not needing to have a soulmate, or certainly not everyone needs to have one - as I said, for some people they need to feel they are absolutely halves of one whole and that's great, but it doesn't need to be the case for everyone.

I agree with the PP who said a dog. There's no love like that of a dog. Such wonderful, loyal, companions.

Nope, the concept is complete nonsense and if you are talking about one person, mathematically it's virtually impossible to happen upon them.

You have five people in this thread saying their partner is their 'soulmate'. Obviously I'm happy they are happy, but they've not by incredible chance met the person most matched to them out of the 8 billion on the planet..they've just met someone they get on with really well.

My partners great and we've grown increasingly closer over the years, but if wasn't them it would be somebody else.

I am reasonable happily married and have some good friends but my mum is my soulmate. She understands me and loves me like no other. I’m incredibly lucky. I think you can have different people that meet different needs at different times of your life.

Yes, it's bullshit.

Has anyone read the book 'The One'? It's about finding your perfect match.

This is the sort of thing my dd would say. I don't ride. I don't get it at all but I love the life she has for them!

You can find someone you fall for and who's on "your page" - someone who appears to care for you, to love and respect you; someone who wants you to be his teammate - and if you are lucky, it will stay this way for a long time. This is as close to the "soulmate" as you can get.

In reality, you will never know the other person 100% and more often than not your idea about them is not what they really are. My "soulmate" left me for another woman, telling me all that attracted him to me was my young age, and my slim figure. Once they were gone, my "soul" turned out to be not what they wanted.

Or a cat!