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Original poster

Wedding Dress Code - Only Black Allowed

328 replies

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 03/02/2024 18:22

I'm going to a wedding but the bride has specified that all guests must wear black only and no colours. Not even coloured shoes or accessories. Herself and the groom will both be wearing white.

She's seen a video online which I've looked at with a black dress code. However that wedding is outdoors in sunny weather. The women are all wearing clothes that show plenty of skin - bare arms, bare legs, low necklines in lightweight fabrics. The various shades of skin breaks the black clothing up and it looks ok.

This wedding is in the winter in a very cold location, so I'll need to be wearing heavier fabric with long sleeves, high neckline and thick tights on. I would imagine the other women will be covering up to keep warm. I don't think it'll work as there will be no skin to break the black colour up. I think we'll all just look like one big black lump with several heads on the group photos!

I also don't suit black at all. I'm very pale skinned and it makes me look washed out and unwell. My mother has pale skin and is also concerned about this.

Just wondering if anyone has been to a wedding with such a strict dress code and how did it turn out?

OP posts:
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doilooklikeicare · 03/02/2024 19:06

Toastcrumbsinsofa · 03/02/2024 19:05

I would refuse the wedding invitation and explain why. I never, ever wear black with no other colours near my face as it makes me look so unwell!

I'm actually fine in black, but I'd refuse because I'm a guest and not a fucking social media prop!

Facetube · 03/02/2024 19:06

I also don't suit black so would hate this (and might just wear grey or navy?)

I've not been to a wedding with a strict dress code per se but have had several requests from brides re clothing etc. One forbade fake tan 😂. Another one said no pastels- she was furious that a guest "disobeyed" and wore coral!

I used to be so keen to follow the rules about weddings. I once even got my mum to ask what colour bridesmaids were wearing at a wedding I was going to, so I could avoid wearing the same colour. She came back to me and said it was taupe. I thought "strange choice for a summer wedding, but whatever". I wore a lovely green dress. Naturally my mum had misheard and the bridesmaids were all in teal and I looked completely nuts. As if I'd deliberately found out the colour and then worn it 🤣

crumblingschools · 03/02/2024 19:08

I would be so tempted to hide a really colourful scarf then bring it out when the photographs are being taken

NewYear24 · 03/02/2024 19:09

crumblingschools · Today 19:08

I would be so tempted to hide a really colourful scarf then bring it out when the photographs are being taken

Or dye your hair a really bright colour.

UnctuousUnicorns · 03/02/2024 19:10

ChangingPhoto · 03/02/2024 18:49

I would love to wear black, but I do not think it is appropriate to tell guests what to wear. I hate that kind of nonsense
.

Exactly. Crowzilla clearly wants to queen it over a Council of Corbies. And yes, it will look just like a funeral in the photos apart from that weirdo couple in white .

Original poster
YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 03/02/2024 19:13

Nicebloomers · 03/02/2024 19:00

Why is it assumed that it’s the brides thing? All this ‘she’.. 2 people are getting married so what makes people think it’s not approved by both the bride and the groom?

it’s also bonkers but that’s another thing

It's the brides idea.

The groom is also unsure about the dress code and he would prefer people to wear whatever they want, apart from white.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 03/02/2024 19:13

pigsDOfly · 03/02/2024 18:28

Bit odd. I imagine it'll look more like a funeral than a wedding.

It probably looks better in her head than it will in real life.

Absolutely. She's probably seen a Tik Tok or Pintrest post & thought it looked amazing. Not factoring in different weather, hand picked guests etc for the photos/videos.

I've often wondered if you turned up a wedding like this in an outfit that wasn't what was asked for, what would happen. Would the ushers refuse to let you in, would the bride throw you out??

MCOut · 03/02/2024 19:13

I’ve been to a black tie all black one, it was pretty chic. People wore different fabrics, necklines and jewellery so it wasn’t very samey at all. You can get some really unique gold & silver jewellery which will be allowed.

lieselotte · 03/02/2024 19:14

I would wear what I always wear. I wouldn't be buying a new outfit. Might get a black scarf to go with it!

It's not eco-friendly to buy a new dress for every occasion!

gannett · 03/02/2024 19:14

doilooklikeicare · 03/02/2024 19:05

@gannett small things like letting your guests wear what they want...... I absolutely refuse to believe my wearing blue would make the bride unhappy?

It's not a small thing, it's ridiculous and controlling and she needs to get over herself.

If she likes me, she'll be happy to see me there even if I'm wearing pink.

Are you always a people pleaser?

I've never been described as a people pleaser in my life, the thought is hilarious.

It comes down to whether you like and respect the bride I guess. You'd hope so if you were close enough to go to her wedding.

Nicebloomers · 03/02/2024 19:15

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 03/02/2024 19:13

It's the brides idea.

The groom is also unsure about the dress code and he would prefer people to wear whatever they want, apart from white.

Show quote history

That bodes well

Acatdance · 03/02/2024 19:19

I'd just do what she says. At least she's chosen something that most people are likely to have somewhere in their wardrobes and could wear again. It could have been 'wear orange'!

ImperialCrusade · 03/02/2024 19:22

I would turn up in a burka

crikeycrumbs · 03/02/2024 19:23

It could be worse, I once was invited to a wedding where the instruction was the opposite all guests had to wear white. Not cream, no variations, ALL WHITE ONLY.

Bride and groom were to be in black.

How many men have a white suit?? And I didn't own an all white dress either.

We did not go!

Echobelly · 03/02/2024 19:25

I'm honestly not sure why people give themselves something else to get potentially stressed about with these kinds of directions. 🤐

DappledThings · 03/02/2024 19:25

Notellinganyone · 03/02/2024 18:44

No way would I be told what to wear to a wedding. People are nuts. I wouldn’t be going and I’d tell her why.

Same. I wouldn't turn up not complying with the dress code but I would decline and say it was because I was too uncomfortable with the ridiculous request

ExpressCheckout · 03/02/2024 19:25

Oh dear, another dress code one. What is wrong with these people? Wine

herewegoroundtheblueberrybush · 03/02/2024 19:28

Of course it's the brides idea 😂 as if it would be the groom

TwelveKeys · 03/02/2024 19:28

Echobelly · 03/02/2024 19:25

I'm honestly not sure why people give themselves something else to get potentially stressed about with these kinds of directions. 🤐

This! You're setting yourself up for having to deal with what happens when someone doesn't do what you want!

herewegoroundtheblueberrybush · 03/02/2024 19:28

NewYear24 · 03/02/2024 19:05

Are they in winter somewhere very cold?

It looks morose

doilooklikeicare · 03/02/2024 19:29

@gannett no it depends if the bride and groom like and respect me, otherwise why have they invited me?

Lindy2 · 03/02/2024 19:32

I'm just so glad I've never been invited to a wedding with a dress code.

Honestly, what's wrong with choose a nice outfit that you like and come along and have a nice time.

I really couldn't be doing with pretentious clap trap like that.

SunflowerSeeds123 · 03/02/2024 19:33

My uncle got married in the early 80s and wore his wedding suit to every Christening, Wedding and Funeral fir about 20 years! It was navy though.

Black is fine in the California sunshine but not so much in the UK with our grey weather. Instagram, eh?

MixedCouple · 03/02/2024 19:36

How about using metal's such as golr and silvers etc. You can get sparkly slighot opaque tights etc.

Will it be indoors? If so I would assume with all the people it would get nice and toasty after a while so maybe doesn't have to be so covered up. Maybe a cover up and a nicer outfit under neath.

I have refused attendance to such weddings in the past. An Asian wedding. They expected me to buy Asian clothing. Too expensive and no idea where to start not even that close. And also another wedding that wanted specific Colous Gold and Blue in a specific dress £150-200, Again no I have what I have. I am not a bridesmaid so no.

Startingagainandagain · 03/02/2024 19:39

Her wedding, her choice.

It is not about you or how you think you look best...

A chic black dress is a usually a basic item that most women have and very easy to find if you don't have one (you can even rent an outfit for the day and never have to wear it again...)

Most women will welcome the fact that at least they can wear it again for other occasions/night outs.

I think it is actually easier than if she had decided that all women should wear baby pink and all men powder blue...

I really don't see the problem with wearing black for a few hours if that makes your friend happy on that special day...