Am I a hotel ?!

SM4713 · 03/02/2024 17:39

Have you told her that then?
Not sure I understand. Is she staying 1 night or 2? Does it bother you she is seeing another friend? If so or it doesn't work for you, just say its not convenient for her to stay.

Ginandjuice57884 · 03/02/2024 17:40

What I am hearing is that you agreed to one or two nights, but have a problem if it's only one?

tocontinue1 · 03/02/2024 17:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/02/2024 17:41

I'm not sure I understand, does it matter if she stays one night and sees another friend?

VanilleA · 03/02/2024 17:41

Yes

Sceptre86 · 03/02/2024 17:44

Enforce your own boundaries. If it's inconvenient or you just don't want her to stay then say so. Sounds like you thought you'd be able to have a catch up but are now put out that she is using your home as a base. You are not unreasonable I'd probably feel like that too but I'd say so.

Wakeywake · 03/02/2024 17:45

I don't understand, she's asked you for a favour because she needed somewhere to sleep, she wasn't coming to pay you a visit. Why are you bothered if she's going to meet a friend?

Boobettes · 03/02/2024 17:47

Is the problem that you don't think she should be meeting a friend?

Aaron95 · 03/02/2024 17:49

Personally I couldn't care less. Them staying over doesn't cost me anything and I would happily let friends stay even if they had evening commitments.

CaineRaine · 03/02/2024 17:51

If she’s only staying one night and seeing another friend in the sole evening she’s around, then yes she’s treating you poorly and I’d tell her it’s no longer convenient. If she’s staying two nights and catching up with you on one of them, I’d be less bothered.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 03/02/2024 17:52

If you don't want her to stay then tell her but I don't really understand why staying one night less is a problem.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 03/02/2024 17:55

I had a good friend stay for a week recently and she had plans every night bar one (she now lives outside of London and still has friends here) where we had a really good catch up.

I was fine with it and saw it more as using mine as a base and me doing her a bit of a favour so she didn't have to stay in a hotel.

User373433 · 03/02/2024 17:59

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 03/02/2024 17:52

If you don't want her to stay then tell her but I don't really understand why staying one night less is a problem.

Because if she's only staying for one night, she's using up all her social time on a different friend who isn't doing her a favour by giving her somewhere to stay. Very rude!

underneaththeash · 03/02/2024 17:59

BlacChocaloop · 03/02/2024 17:36

Not sure if I am being a bit precious here.

A friend asked to stay a weekend at mine ( big city) as she had a course to attend

I obviously said fine , she will stay 1 or 2 nights , she has just messaged to say one night she will be meeting a friend of hers for dinner , if she only stays one night then she might as well stay in a hotel !

Maybe she didn't want to impose for the second night? If it is only one night though and she's not spending it with you, that's quite cheeky.

User373433 · 03/02/2024 18:00

I'd probably reply 'If you are only staying for one night, wouldn't it make sense for you to stay with them instead?'

tocontinue1 · 03/02/2024 18:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 03/02/2024 18:00

@User373433 to be fair, she's come down to do a course and not to see the OP in the first place. OP has every right to say no but it's not like she's been ditched for someone else.

Original poster

BlacChocaloop · 03/02/2024 18:02

Sceptre86 · 03/02/2024 17:44

Enforce your own boundaries. If it's inconvenient or you just don't want her to stay then say so. Sounds like you thought you'd be able to have a catch up but are now put out that she is using your home as a base. You are not unreasonable I'd probably feel like that too but I'd say so.

Yes exactly that !

OP posts:

EsmeSusanOgg · 03/02/2024 18:06

User373433 · 03/02/2024 18:00

I'd probably reply 'If you are only staying for one night, wouldn't it make sense for you to stay with them instead?'

This.

MsGrumpytrousers · 03/02/2024 18:24

User373433 · 03/02/2024 18:00

I'd probably reply 'If you are only staying for one night, wouldn't it make sense for you to stay with them instead?'

Perfect!

tocontinue1 · 03/02/2024 18:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

CaineRaine · 03/02/2024 18:31

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 03/02/2024 18:00

@User373433 to be fair, she's come down to do a course and not to see the OP in the first place. OP has every right to say no but it's not like she's been ditched for someone else.

She has totally been ditched for someone else IF the friend is only staying at the OP’s for one night 😂

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 03/02/2024 18:34

@CaineRaine she wasn't coming down to spend time with OP though?😂 she just wanted somewhere free to stay. I'm not saying she isn't rude but doing that.

FictionalCharacter · 03/02/2024 18:35

I think it’s pretty rude to invite yourself to stay at someone’s house, then go out for the evening with another friend, leaving the host at home. It certainly would make me feel like I was being used as a hotel.

Cushionsandcaramel · 03/02/2024 18:36

It wouldn't bother me (a friend used our place as a base recently and didn't eat any meals with us at all). I'd see it as doing a friend a favour.

But if it bothers you - tell her!