New Baby

[firsttimemumglasgow]

My baby is two months old and he spends time with his gran on a Friday at their home. They recently got a car seat for their own car and have taken my son to different family member homes (on my partners side). In the first day they used the car seat he went to my partners mums boyfriends mums house then to my partners grans house then to my partners uncles house. It doesn’t feel right that my son is being passed around all these people without either me or my partner being there. I feel so uncomfortable with this and I’m not sure how to approach it. It makes me feel hesitant and him going back again.

I also wasnt asked or told that he would be going to these different places.

Am I being unreasonable?

Your kid, you make the rules.

I wouldn't be comfortable with this either tbh. Two months - he's still so little and new. It's not pass the parcel.

Edit: just seen you weren't told or asked either - put a stop to this now or you'll have Mil calling shots forevermore.

Well no, but your newborn doesn’t need to spend time with anyone but his/her parents at this point. How long has this Friday thing been going on?

So don’t send him then

If you're happy for them to have your baby in their care, especially FREE, then imo you don't get to police where they take the baby.

Theyre giving you a hand. Theyre proud grandparents who are taking the baby to visit family.

If you don't want them to do this and want to enforce rules, perhaps get a childminder. Even then, they're around various kids / parents / playgroups.

Whats the harm?

I can’t see the issue personally.

Developmentally your 2mo baby shouldn’t be away from you all day on the regular so YABU just for that.

I think the feeling that the baby is being handed round too many people it probably your instinct telling you that the baby should be with you.

On the car seat question it’s hard to say without knowing how far these places are fto
each other. I know babies should be in a car seat for long at that stage as it’s bad for their back.

To reply, he has been spending time at my partners Mums on a Friday for the past four weeks but they only recently got the car seat this week with today being its first use.

I think I struggle with not knowing where he is. It was OK when I knew where he was but this has changed now.

Developmentally your 2mo baby shouldn’t be away from you all day on the regular so YABU just for that.

The OP just says 'spends time', she doesn't say all day.

Well, if you're handing over your baby to people to look after every week, then I don't think you can dictate where they take him, or what they do (obviously safety aspects aside). Why on earth are they having him every Friday at such a young age? If it's for childcare reasons then you really can't dictate where they go. If they're just taking him, and you don't actually like/need this arrangement, then stop it happening.

How long is he away from you OP? He's a very tiny baby still. Not reason why he should be away from you at this age.

This.

Spending time at your request? Or hers? A 4 week old baby doesn’t need to be away from his mum. You can say no. Is this arrangement ok with you?

You either trust Gran or you don't, if you don't then baby shouldn't be with Gran.

DS started spending time alone with Grandparents from 2 weeks and started sleepovers at 6 weeks and I found that if you're happy for Grandparents to have baby then you do need to let a certain amount of control go. Especially if we're talking about Gran having baby for more than a few hours.

YABU to allow anyone to have your newborn unsupervised.

Baby will be very distressed being without mum; they don’t realise they’re a separate person to you.

You don't need to be guilted into letting go of any 'control' of your newborn baby OP.

I keep a baby that young with me. Abit young to spend time with grandparents. Say no to mother in law driving him anywhere. Your baby your rules

I keep a baby that young with me. Abit young to spend time with grandparents. Say no to mother in law driving him anywhere. Your baby your rules

Get your baby back op! I am fuming reading that. 4 weeks old you handed your newborn over. Who's idea was that?

Do you actually want him to go there? It's up to you where your child goes, but if you're not comfortable with them taking him places then I would keep him with you. Or just tell them to let you know their plans.

Why’s your newborn away from you a day a week?

'partners mums boyfriends mums' Wtf?! So a complete random person then. And your boyfriends gran and his uncle.
Can you not keep your newborn with you?

There's no need or benefit to the infant to be brought around like a travelling salesman. Advocate for your child.

I wouldn’t be happy with this. It’s one thing to allow some time with a certain family member but I would want to know exactly who my baby was with. You can put a stop to these visits/babysitting if you aren’t happy with it, it’s your baby and if you aren’t happy with something you need to fix it.

Keep him with you, poor thing will be wondering where his mum is

I think if you're happy to let your baby go from 4 weeks to granny's then you don't get to dictate where she takes him/her. Personally, I'd have waited until baby was at the very least 4 months to allow this but everyone is different and happy with different boundaries.

As a mum of a current 2 month old I couldn't let him go to.anyone unsupervised by either me or my partner and he wouldn't be meeting anyone new without us being there. Imagine if they dropped him ! Not even going into the fact babies of that age don't need or want anyone other than mum and dad so questionable why the baby is even going to grans without you. If she's pressuring you for alone time, tell her she's had her time.and baby is too young at this time.