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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New Baby

52 replies

firsttimemumglasgow · 02/02/2024 16:59

My baby is two months old and he spends time with his gran on a Friday at their home. They recently got a car seat for their own car and have taken my son to different family member homes (on my partners side). In the first day they used the car seat he went to my partners mums boyfriends mums house then to my partners grans house then to my partners uncles house. It doesn’t feel right that my son is being passed around all these people without either me or my partner being there. I feel so uncomfortable with this and I’m not sure how to approach it. It makes me feel hesitant and him going back again.

I also wasnt asked or told that he would be going to these different places.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TuxedoCatsRule · 02/02/2024 17:59

Is the Friday at your request @firsttimemumglasgow or because you’re being told that other people need their turn with your baby? If you need a rest then you need to work out the best way to get that that works for you and your baby. If it’s because other family members want their go at having the baby, all to themselves, you don’t need to say yes. Your baby, your rules. And I hope your partner has your back and not his mum’s on this.

glusky · 02/02/2024 18:06

Don't leave the baby with anyone you don't trust to follow whatever rules you are comfortable with. Follow your instincts and if that means the baby stays with you until 6m or age 3 or whatever you decide, so be it.

celticmamabear · 02/02/2024 18:08

Are you paying grandparents to mind baby?

LizHoney · 02/02/2024 18:08

No no no

SleepingStandingUp · 02/02/2024 18:09

just don't send him?

WeeOrcadian · 02/02/2024 18:10

Don't send him then. IMO he's too young to be away from you like that, every week, anyway.

Diamondcurtains · 02/02/2024 18:12

He’s too young to be anywhere without one of you!

EmilyTjP · 02/02/2024 18:14

To echo others, why are you letting them have him every Friday at 2 months old??

Riapia · 02/02/2024 18:19

He’s not a new baby.
He’s been used by several people.
For their own amusement.

DinnaeFashYersel · 02/02/2024 18:20

HaveNoIdeaForAName · 02/02/2024 17:02

I can’t see the issue personally.

Same here.

Rumplestrumpet · 02/02/2024 18:24

When my baby was that age I was exhausted, so was grateful for mum's help, but I would go with thr baby to her house, and have a sleep for an hour or two while she watched the baby. If you need rest could you do similar? Just seems strange the baby being away from you for long enough to be doing visits around the whole family, esp when still so very young

puddypud · 02/02/2024 18:26

celticmamabear · 02/02/2024 18:08

Are you paying grandparents to mind baby?

Would that change anything? Are people providing free childcare allowed to do what they want with other people's children?

Vinrouge4 · 02/02/2024 19:25

He is very little to be away from you. Why are you allowing this?

C00k · 02/02/2024 19:26

Riapia · 02/02/2024 18:19

He’s not a new baby.
He’s been used by several people.
For their own amusement.

2 months is new, and they’ve been sending the infant away since he was only a month old.

Flottie · 02/02/2024 19:29

At two months before all vaccinations I wouldn’t be happy with this.

I’ve got a 3 week old and she won’t be going to family alone until I’m back at work when she’s 9 months.

Awrite · 02/02/2024 19:32

Christ, I felt uneasy reading that and he's not even my newborn.

There's no way whatsoever that my baby would be spending time away from me at that age. They need to cement their attachment to their Mother first.

You feel anxious about this for a reason. Listen to yourself.

Katie969823 · 02/02/2024 19:37

Hi everyone….so I had a gender scan at 16+4 it was private but the clinic was full, the scan was rushed and we were in and out in like 10 minutes. She said it’s a boy, however the scan is confusing me. I already have a boy, my bestfriend has 3 boys and my other close friend has 2 boys and not one of their scans look like this? Can anyone make out what it is? After many google searches I haven’t found one scan that looks the same ☹️

HowToSaveAWife · 02/02/2024 19:41

Katie969823 · 02/02/2024 19:37

Hi everyone….so I had a gender scan at 16+4 it was private but the clinic was full, the scan was rushed and we were in and out in like 10 minutes. She said it’s a boy, however the scan is confusing me. I already have a boy, my bestfriend has 3 boys and my other close friend has 2 boys and not one of their scans look like this? Can anyone make out what it is? After many google searches I haven’t found one scan that looks the same ☹️

Maybe start your own thread for this but if I had to hazard a guess, you're looking at the literal arse end of your baby there. Much like babes themselves, no two scans are the same.

Cherrysherbet · 02/02/2024 19:45

Op you have a clear choice. Put up with it or look after your baby yourself.

At that age, I would be choosing the second option.

Katie969823 · 02/02/2024 19:45

Omg I’m so sorry I’m new to this I didn’t realise I’d posted on someone else’s I’m sorry!

chantelion · 02/02/2024 19:52

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/02/2024 17:30

Why’s your newborn away from you a day a week?

This. And it's been going on for four weeks? Why would you do that? Even just a few hours isn't ok, he's a tiny baby.

Mariposistaaa · 02/02/2024 21:30

For those jumping on the OP for using them as childcare a day a week, perhaps she should explain herself before you harpoon her:

  • is she a full time student who got pregnant accidentally and has ti continue with her studies
  • has she had no choice but no return to work (SE, no maternity leave, partner made redundant
  • Is she still in the sixth form
Of course if she is doing it to have ‘me time’ (does a massive eye roll), the she is bang out of order when the baby is that young to ditch it without her or his dad and yes, judge away.
Maray1967 · 02/02/2024 21:35

I wouldn’t have allowed this at all. I understand how it’s making you feel, but you need to stop it. You might well have a task ahead of you with your partner if he doesn’t want to upset his mum - but you need to win this battle.

GabriellaMontez · 02/02/2024 21:38

Why's the baby going? Stop it now.

celticmamabear · 09/02/2024 08:12

puddypud · 02/02/2024 18:26

Would that change anything? Are people providing free childcare allowed to do what they want with other people's children?

Show quote history

Obviously not. But if they're providing free childcare that would change how I spoke to them about it.

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