I’m so fed up I want to cry

[PopGoesTheWeasel3]

My boyfriend was offered to play sport in Australia from October to March, and he accepted. I came with him as this was offered, and it was a perfect way for us to see a country we’d always wanted to.

The sports club paid our flights here, and we will pay our flights home. They gave us a car too.

Until about around christmas, we were in the novelty of it all. We were travelling around on mini holidays, we were soaking it all up. Had some amazing moments But now I’m completely fed up and I want to go home. We only have 5 weeks left but I want to cry.

Boyfriend has to stay here until the end of the contract otherwise he has to pay them everything back, and I don’t yet have enough money to get home. They gave me farm work which I do quite enjoy, but it’s been raining so much that I’ve missed so many shifts.

We’re staying in the middle of nowhere, the closest shop is a 50 minute walk.
Our car broke down a week ago, and we’re having to wait two weeks for a repair. This means we literally cannot get ANYWHERE at the moment. There’s no cabs in the area. Our housemate has offered lifts but he’s out most of the time and works during the day.

I’m losing my mind. We’re living in a farmhouse which has rainwater as drinking water (gross), a really weak shower and SO many bugs. My boyfriend is having to scrap for lifts to work (at sports ground) and to matches, and I am stuck in the house. The house which, may I add, has no aircon and it’s roughly 35 degrees every day.

Another thing, the sports club is so uninclusive and clicky. Not one person has made an effort with us, we haven’t been invited anywhere, been to anyone’s house, nothing. We tried so hard but no one really gave us anything back. We haven’t made any friends. My boyfriend feels the same and is fed up of everyone.

I feel like I’m losing my mind and I want to cry. I thought this would be an amazing opportunity and we’ve had some amazing moments, plus I love living with my boyfriend (who is really supportive). But I don’t know how I’m going to survive the last 5 weeks

Gosh that sounds tough OP. You've done well sticking it out this long. I have experienced the remote Australian life too and I struggled. We were in Central Queensland, 5 hours drive from the nearest town. I ended up paying a fortune to fly out of there & didn't finish my farm work for 2nd year visa. I don't think we appreciate just how remote & difficult living in the outback can be. It's unfortunate that people are unwelcoming as you may have a totally different experience if they were. Is there a bar around or a shop? Perhaps you could work there instead? At least you would have something to focus on until your time is up. Or perhaps you could move to a town/city for the remainder and see your partner at weekends? You could stay in a hostel.

It sounds tough. Did you post before about being really excited to be going out there?

I know it sounds a long time when you're miserable but there are only five weeks left. You've done most of it. I hope you get the car repaired and can enjoy some of the remaining time.

Can I ask where abouts you two are? I'm in Sydney

Where are you exactly?

It sounds annoying but five weeks isn't much more. I suppose my ideas would be either pass the time as best you can with reading and TV.

Or (my preference) leave your boyfriend behind in this town and get public transport to the nearest capital city. Stay in a hostel and have a backpacking type holiday by yourself for a few weeks.

Sounds really rubbish situation you are in at the moment and being so far away from home too.

5 weeks will flypast and it would be a shame to not make the most of an opportunity that you will never get again. It's not forever and things will hopefully seem a bit brighter in a week's time.

If not is there an opportunity for you to pick up work somewhere else for a few weeks where there is more to do?

Sounds awful. I'd create a routine for my self to give some structure. Wake ups, meal times, exercise, cleaning, hobbies, relaxation etc. And work as much as possible to pass the time.

If you feel so bad it isn't worth risking you Mh. I'd stick flights on a credit card and come home

Ach, you poor thing. Some things sound miserable but you also have to pull up your big-girl pants and do something to get out of your rut.

Hire a cheap little car for a day and take it to buy yourself a portable air-conditioner to put in the room you use the most You can sell it when you leave. Then book yourself a trip and find some brits at a back-packers. You are young, go see the place!!! Trains, albeit slow ones, will take you to main cities and there is so much for the budget tourist everywhere.

I don't know where you are, but get yourself out of there. Your BF has something to do, so get yourself something to do, too. For example -

Cairns for cheap day-trips for snorkeling and diving, and then off to the hinterland and rainforest and coffee plantations. Do a weekend trip to a capital city and explore, swim and eat! Go! Get out, check out some awesome markets, go boating, mountain-climbing, check out the caves and aboriginal art, go to a different state to escape the heat (Tasmania!! Cradle mountains!)

It’s so hard because we’ve/I’ve done lots of amazing trips but now we’re saving up to go home, we’re verrrry low on money. Plus can’t even get to a train station at this point 😩 looked at hiring a car though so thank you and fingers crossed!

That sounds tough. I agree with pp that having a daily schedule will help stop the days dragging. I would also have a learning project so that something positive came out of this time- anything from learning a language to write a novel in a month type online courses. The other thing is creating photo albums online of your wonderful times - you can actually get them printed when you are back and with more money

Will you be able to afford flights at the planned time? With the cost of the car(s)? If so then 5 more weeks sounds do-able. Just dull, hot etc.

If nothing at all is walkable, could apply any tactics that helped during lockdowns.

If you have good connectivity you could do things online that will help you in practical ways when you get home, and/or that are fun, eg uploading photos from your trips.

I was going to say you are being unreasonable as it sounded like a lovely opportunity however, you have outlined the reality of it so well and I get it, I’d be dying to get home too. Can you write? Why don’t you spend some time writing a blog of what you’ve done whilst there? Even if you don’t publish it it might be good to look back on one day

There are some nice ideas here, thank you ☺️
I think a lot of it is guilt as well - I know it’s a lovely opportunity and a once in a lifetime trip so I feel I shouldn’t be moaning, but my god it’s hard at the moment

Sounds pretty miserable. Only got one suggestion sorry,... Could you find an online course in something you're interested in and spend the next 5 weeks learning a new skill/ knowledge?

Don't feel guilty, what you're describing isn't what people would give their right arm for. What you've had is a mixed blessing and it sounds like you've taken the good stuff.

Also, I bet they struggle to get ozzies there if it's rural as they know it's not all the Oz dream, I expect that's why they had to search further afield.

When I was in Oz it was true for lots of professions in isolated places, from hairdressers to doctors, you name it. There's a reason for that.

Keep your good memories and do your best for the remainder, maybe one of the main take aways will be what you have learnt about each other and what you mean to each other.

The opportunity you took together had pros and cons: it’s fine to be honest about that with yourself and others! That would be the case even had you had an all expenses paid world trip and your trip has had some constraints and drawbacks (and all the good things).

I lived abroad once and had mixed experiences, lonely at times, if could go back and decide again wouldn’t go! but the good things are nice memories and I learned a lot, including some ways to try to bumble through until such date things seem likely to improve!

foe example, the people I lived with had a nice, cuddly cat, so I got the benefits of a pet without paying any money 😀

5 weeks feels like forever now, but it will be over before you know it. Just keep making the best of it.

Can you talk to anyone at the sports club? See if they can help with the car ? Ask if anyone has any jobs going . Surely some of his teammates have connections? It's really rubbish they haven't been hospitable. Worth remembering if we ever see anyone in same situation, a home cooked meal is no effort to make someone feel welcome. I think you'll learn that from this experience.
Plan for getting yourself set up when you get home, get your cv up to date, apply for jobs, look at flats , whatever you need.

If you get the car back in a week, things might not be so bad then.

The OU Openlearn do loads of free courses online across a massive range of subjects. Try to do an hour a day of that, an hour of yoga, build a structure to your days to pass the time. Call a different friend or family member at home each day (their evening). It'll soon pass lovely

I think you are in the hardest week. It's not quite the same but my OH is military and I know when I'm waiting for him to return around six weeks is the worst.

It still feels like a long time. But once it's in the month and it becomes the last of everything in the cycle, the time runs down fast. Last pay day, last away game etc. You then start switching to all that needs to be done!

For this week, can you take an audible trial and listen to some books? Or get a jigsaw. Both good time passsers that are easy to drop in and out of.

In another fortnight your headspace will be taken up with what you'll miss and what you are looking forward to.

If you watch Race Around the World it’s a similar thing - it’s the opportunity/experience of a lifetime but it’s fatiguing and everyone seems to hit rock bottom at some point.

Are there any points of the day or night when it is cooler? I would seriously take up yoga, write a blog (it will be fun to read it back over in 20 years time), and start making social plans to meet up with family and friends when you get home! The time will pass.

Don’t feel guilty: stuck in an isolated overly hot house with no transport, occupation or escape, plus bugs, is the sort of once-in-a-lifetime scenario plenty would pay money to avoid.

If you stuck your flight home on a credit card do you have work/accommodation back home lined up so you’d be able to pay it back and not get into big debt and trouble and further misery? A last-minute one-way ticket may not be worth the long-term cost of the debt, and potentially the relationship upset of abandoning your boyfriend to the bugs and boredom.

i agree with the routine and structure suggestions. Divide each day into chunks; as with maternity leave with baby, the boredom is more tolerable if it’s considered in hourly doses. Exercise, meals, making plans for what you’ll do once home, tackle a project: 5 weeks is ample time to fast draft a novel you can spend the next year exiting; or to learn a skill. I’d spend my mornings writing and my afternoons cooking elaborate things you wouldn’t normally have the time for. This is your moment to do an Ottolenghi recipe! Learn a language or coding or wood whittling or car repair 😉

Any chance a friend or family member can lend you the money or use a credit card and you can just come home and leave BF there until the end of his contract? Do you have a job to come back to?