AIBU to be furious that Jnr colleugue's salary now exceeds mine? discrimination?!

[WhatTheActualBeep]

To give some background/context here: I have a decade of experience in my field. My current company was taken over by a much larger company in 2020. This same year I fell pregnant and took a year of maternity leave. Just before my leave, I hired an Assistant that supported me and the Director within my team. My maternity cover didn't work out, and whilst I was away, the Director decided to give some of my duties to this Assistant, whilst covering the remainder of my role themselves.

During my leave, the company was taken over, the Director was made redundant and the Assistant was given the same title as me (no Assistant role existed in the bigger company). Their salary was increased, but still approx 10k below my own.

Fast forward, and I return from maternity, the role I return to is vastly different,
the same title but much of the responsibility/seniority removed. 6 months later
the team gets a new Manager who becomes very buddy-buddy with the Assistant andother team members, and doesn't bother getting to know the team, their experience and work history etc.

I take another period of maternity, and return to find out that the 'Assistant'
has received an 18.5% salary increase, and their salary now exceeds my own (not
my much, but still), and they received a bonus of 15% salary, whilst I, on
maternity, got a 6% increase and a 7% bonus. I have never, in 10 years had a
bonus this low and chalk this up to not being in the 'in crowd' with this manager.

The Assistant has half a decade of experience less than me, does not outperform me in any way (whilst we have the same title, there are many aspects of the role
they are inexperienced in, and these tasks fall to me).

In a recent conversation with the manager, I learned that they have no knowledge of the fact that I actually hired the Assistant in my previous company, they used to report to me, and I have 5 years more experience than them! the VP
actually said 'oh really? I thought you were doing the same role at X company'
when this came up in conversation. Is this not the first thing you do as a new
manager - check out your team's skill-set, strengths and experience?

It's worth mentioning, that whilst I have had two DC, this Assistant has been VERY vocal about their views on motherhood, how they want to ‘live life for themselves’ and don’t ever want children.

I am seeing red about this whole situation. I was effectively demoted on return
from 1st maternity leave to a more junior role and got a whole new team, and
now this junior colleague’s salary is higher than my own despite my experience
exceeding theirs by 5 YEARS. I need to raise the bonus issue with my manager
anyway, as I didn't want to deal with that on maternity but AIBU about the
salary issue?!

How do I even raise this?!

Sorry but you haven't been there. There other person has.

This is what it boilers down to.

You chose to have children. You were given maternity leave.

You can't have it both ways.

You keep referring to them as your assistant but they have been promoted to at least your level, and possibly have taken on more responsibility than you now?

There is no way anybody can state that on the limited information provided by the OP. I don't care what expertise they may or may not claim to have in employment law. In fact no employment specialist worth their salt would tell a woman recently returned from maternity leave (something that affords one of the highest levels of protection) categorically they have not been discrimated against, without so much as a conversation where key questions are explored, or a glimpse of their contract. I hope the OP doesn't take heed of irresponsible pronouncements like yours and gets real advice. She may not have been discriminated against, but you really have no idea.

Sounds like your colleague has worked very hard while you’ve been off, and earned their promotion and salary increase. Why are you making this about them? If you feel you’ve missed out on a bonus you were entitled to, then raise that, but I’m not sure why the colleague comes into it.

Sounds like jealousy to me. Stop referring to her as your assistant, that was her old role. You should be supporting other women in business not dragging them down and slagging her off to the manager like it just casually came up that you hired her as your assistant. Not a good look for you love..

How do you know your colleague's salary and bonus %?

I do think potentially you've fallen foul of the good relationship between your colleague and new manager but equally I do agree with others that it sounds like your colleague has worked to fulfil their new job title since the original company takeover, so they are not an 'assistant' anymore.

That said, it's hard returning from maternity leave and there is definitely room for discrimination, even indirect, there. Also just the reality of not being in the business for 2 years meaning no progression, chances to achieve etc while other colleagues are still there and visible.

When you say you have 5 years more experience, are you counting your maternity leaves in that or not?

I’m managed by someone 10 years younger and 10 years less experienced. She can’t do some of what I can (though she could easily learn: she doesn’t need to though, it’s in my role). She’s not even “better” than me overall - she’s just put recent effort into moves to go up the ladder, whilst I’ve turned down opportunities over family life. In my last appraisal she wrote that it’s great having me on her team but she recognises me as a partner. She asked someone above her to mentor me as she said we were too much like peers. Neither of us have an ego over our positions or years of experience. We’re just happy with our choices, and work brilliantly together. She is paid more than me.

Sometimes 5 years experience is one year of experience repeated 5x, and not as valuable as it sounds.

Why is this:

…whilst I have had two DC, this Assistant has been VERY vocal about their views on motherhood, how they want to ‘live life for themselves’ and don’t ever want children

‘worth mentioning’?

It’s statements like this (plus your general complaint) that make you sound petulant and unreasonable.

She's not junior to you anymore. She's been promoted to the same level.

If you think you should be paid differently, you need to make your case and negotiate that, but it makes no difference whatsoever to you what someone else is paid.

You definitely need to look at how salary and bonuses are worked out and whether that's been impacted by your maternity leave, and whether there's been any discrimination towards you as a pregnant woman/parent.

However, you also need to get out of the mindset that you should be paid more than your colleague just because you are older and more experienced. The fact is that they are not an 'assistant' and have the same job title as you. It doesn't matter that they used to report to you. They don't report to you any more and their career is nothing to do with yours. They're entitled to seek promotion and they're entitled to progress beyond you; they don't have to stay one step behind you all the time just because you started five years before them. You're being much too personal about this.

Your pay issues and perception that you have been somehow demoted is one thing and that needs investigating and resolving. But you need to stop fixating on the assistant and letting your obvious bitterness towards them colour your complaint.

Can I ask how you actually know what your colleague's salary is? Have they told you?

Career wise you'd be much better off taking a "look how well the assistant I appointed and trained is doing " approach.

This is my absolute favourite thing at work. I love to see my proteges developing. I don't understand this bitterness, it means you've done well.

I am afraid I have to agree with others. I aggressively applied for and received promotions in the first 18 months of changing my career. I now work in a service which has people who worked there since the 90s and we are on the same salary. That is because we have the same level of responsibility and caseload with the same performance and outcome targets. Yes, they can probably do their job with their eyes closed while I need a little be more peer support and "catching up" in my own time but I would be very disappointed if one of my colleagues completely negated my contribution to the organisation on account of me being relatively new to the role.
It only happened to me once when a colleague sent me an FYI email and when asked why I was copied into that, she said in case I needed to do admin-related tasks. I immediately pointed it out to her that we have assistants who do these tasks and can she please forward it to the relevant person. And that was the last time anyone even remotely implied that I was not on par with them.

I always make a point of never disclosing my salary to colleagues. I also never ask them how much they earn. I've seen way too many people fall out over wages over the years.

You need to stop calling this person the “Assistant” and it doesn’t matter who recruited them. They have clearly proved themselves whilst you were off, were promoted to the same level as you and again when you were off, they earned a bonus.

By all means ask how bonuses are calculated and if the 7% was typical for an employee “meeting expectation” or whatever terminology is in force there. You surely cannot expect to have got the bonus for an exceptional performance when you didn’t actually work that year?

I think there is a risk that you are not going to come across well here, you need to try and accept that the company is going to move on in your absence.

A surprisingly rational thread. YABU, as many others have explained.

OP I think you’re getting a hard time on here. I think you’ve been unlucky that these big structural changes have happened while you’ve been on mat leave, as you’ve not been able to benefit from them whilst your colleague has.
I think the key piece is that you say your job role has changed significantly and is less than it was. If your colleague does the same job now as you I’d be wondering if there is a longer term view that only one of you is needed rather than two.

Can you try and build bridges with your manager and think about extra responsibilities, aiming to grow your role back to where it was, and thus create a point of difference from your colleague the the process?

If your colleague is being paid more for exactly the same job that’s an obvious issue that needs addressing.

You’d be better off posting on the Work forum if you want people who actually know about discrimination in a legal
sense. AIBU is just people with opinions.

It's worth mentioning, that whilst I have had two DC, this Assistant has been VERY vocal about their views on motherhood, how they want to ‘live life for themselves’ and don’t ever want children
Why exactly did you think this was worth mentioning?
It has no relevance at all.

*During my leave, the company was taken over, the Director was made redundant and the Assistant was given the same title as me (no Assistant role existed in the bigger company). Their salary was increased, but still approx 10k below my own.

Fast forward, and I return from maternity, the role I return to is vastly different,
the same title but much of the responsibility/seniority removed.*

My understanding is THIS ^^ is the point where irrespective of experience, you became equals in terms of role.

You then went on to have further ML (as is your right) which allowed them a significant portion of time to hobnob & shine & earn a big performance related bonus, as well as levelling up pay to match others (you) in the same role. Which isn't unreasonable if you are the same grade. You got a bonus when you weren't there, or only there part of the time - I'm not sure how you defend your position that you deserve more.

By all means address the pay angle if you're responsible for complex/business critical tasks that others can't do, but from a resilience POV this may result in them ask you to train her up.

I mean this kindly because it is frustrating when you see others seemingly floating up the ladder, but you need to focus on promoting yourself as a hard worker/ positive face for the team, rather than presenting as unreasonably cross that a colleague got a pay rise.

1. you're not supposed to discuss salaries, your contract will confirm it's P&C. So you can't quote others

2. if they've negotiated better pay, good for them. Don't be jealous, do the same.

But you can't do it based on "their pay is higher than mine". That means you've breached contract and can be dismissed.

I negotiate pay rises almost every year, nothing says you can't. They pay you to get a job done. If you have a track record of delivery and success it's easy to negotiate.

This person is no longer an assistant but is doing the same job as you.

You absolutely should be challenging for parity in your salaries but you need to focus n what you both currently do and move past how you both got there.

You can have 5 years experience or one years experience 5 times over…. Not necessarily learning/ growing.
And sounds like you can up your personal impact- demonstrate your skills knowledge by doing a better job of it. Memories are short- the world moves on. Make an impact worthy of a pay rise now.

If you want a pay rise, ask for it.

But leave your colleague out of the discussions. Their terms and your past relationship with them isn't relevant.

I agree with this. Some members of my team have less experience on paper, but are sitting on the same band as others with 15 years experience (who have more lateral moves throughout their career). Whilst I acknowledge their different experiences when allocating tasks, their role is essentially the same.
Your anger is misdirected here, the evolution of your team member has nothing to do with you.

In addition to the salary and bonus calculation that @Hollyhocksarenotmessy suggested to look into, I think you should also sit down and look into how the reorganization was done during your first mat leave.
Even if your title and salary stayed the same, it could be qualified as a demotion if you lost a significant amount of responsibilities upon your return. And that could be discrimination too, it has been used at employment tribunal in cases of constructive dismissal.

From what you are describing though, it looks like none of this was done "against" you. If you manager/department head left at the beginning of the reorganization when your company was acquired, then there was no one to defend your corner whilst you were away. All they could see is an org chart and some bandings, and they built the new structure with that. Personally whenever I have been involved in reorg we never looked at experience level, we looked at reporting lines, ratings, and direct feedback from managers.