DD and her Teddy Bear

[Emirie]

I don't want to say something to DD if it isn't necessary so looking for thoughts.

DD is 17 nearly 18, big summer plans from travelling Europe to party holiday. She's generally independent well adjusted etc.

However DD has a teddy bear, shes had it for 11/12 years, from build a bear, and she never sleeps without it. It's not unusual for DD to come and get the bear before staying at a friends if it is impromptu, she has taken the bear to school a fair few times (in a separate bag, now the bear stays in the car when she's at school if she takes it). Basically she can't be without the bear!!

DD is going to Europe to travel for 4 weeks in July. She is insisting she will take the teddy with her. She's taking her main big backpack then a second one which she will use on days out where they aren't travelling that her Teddy will fit in.

Now the bear is a bit ... worse for wear so no one is likely to steal it and my mum is making the bear a cardigan with a pocket for an AirTag.

But AIBU to think it's not a good idea to take the bear?
I honestly think DD would grieve for the bear like it was a real person if anything happened to it!!

Build A Bear teddies are quite.....big.
If it'll go in her day bag, that's quite a bit of room it's taking up.

As much as she loves the bear, maybe it's best left at home.

Plus, what will other people think of her when she's in the dormitory beds in hostels?

Most young people travel Europe to meet others, drink, party and have a good time.

Having a large teddy bear with you constantly may be a bit....odd.

I have a large bear that lives on my bed. I'm 52. I don't take it with me when I travel as it is too big.

I would not take the risk of it getting lost while away.

I travelled all over with my bear but he was small enough for me to stuff into a large pocket if needs be. He’s a bit worse for wear too and belonged to my dad so totally irreplaceable. Air tag is a great idea! Wish they’d been around.

My son-IL has a bear - loves it.

I don't see a problem - she takes the bear and it makes her feel happy. I will bet there will be others on the trip with something similar.

YANBU
I mean she probably won't lose the bear, but she might, and getting her friends to turn back to find it isn't going to be easy.
We weaned DD off hers a few years back for this reason. Teddy always stayed at home where it was safe, and and alternative soft toy went on holidays.

At this age she should be able to do that. I would be a little concerned that she comes back to get it for impromptu sleepovers....somewhat defeating the impromptu ness.
Is that just because she can? Or because she must.
She needs to start weaning herself off now or risk Teddy controlling her summer one way or another.

Oh God, my DD 11 has a little rag doll that she has to have at bedtime. I've no spare and will never be able to get one (It was from Wilkos, 10 years ago) I can see me having this problem! Your DD will have to take it, she knows the risk. You've done your job, it's in her hands now.

I lost my rabbit whilst on holiday aged 13 at Disney, left it in bed got caught up in the laundry never to return and the free mickey and Minnie were no replacement.

it is v tricky. DD (15 had Harry Bear since birth) bear does tend to go everywhere with a couple of exceptions - two DoE expeditions and Scoutabout as was scared of losing him. Stayed in her brothers room with his bear buttons to whom he is far less attached but was willing to go along with.
we accidentally left him at home one holiday and that was traumatic and agree losing him would be a bereavement.

airtsg definitely I think and discuss and comfortable options of staying beh8nd (DS texted her a good night photo of Harry and Buttons when she was away)

This made me laugh. My late DDad had 'connections' through work so managed to get our teddies legit British passports. More often than not passport control of the many countries we visited stamped their passports.
I'm talking 40 odd years ago. Still have the bears and their passports 😂

If people can take cuddly toys into love island your daughter can take it travelling it's fine!

Ooh sorry completely misunderstood. Air tag is a good idea

I'm with you OP about not taking the bear travelling! I would suggest Bear looks after her room in the UK while she is away. And she takes another (smaller and less precious) cuddly on her trip! At least that's what I'd tell my 9 and 12 year olds, and I imagine my advice would be the same at 17!

I have a much travelled cuddly toy. My biggest fear is my suitcase going missing or customs ripping it's head off and pulling the stuffing out of it to look for contraband 😔

I’m convinced my 3 year old will have his cuddly as a mascot in his car when he’s older.
We have 3 of them!