Is this negging?

[Feeltherainonyourskin]

I used to have a pixie cut, had it for around 3 years but I now have a short bob.
I still speak to my ex sometimes about the flat, I thought we were on fairly good terms but he's said a few times stuff like 'This picture of you from 2021 came up and you practically had a mohican' or a 'bowl cut', or stuff like 'I remember when you practically had a buzz cut'.
They're all exaggerations but he's said it about 3 or 4 times tbh.
When I was going out with him he didn't like me having short hair, neither did another ex of mine, the previous ex actually screamed at me that I looked like a lesbian, when I came back one day with a pixie cut.
I get a lot of men prefer longer hair bla bla bla.
Mine isn't quite long enough to tie up now but I can do a half up half down style, still feel insecure about it being short even though bobs are very common.
Maybe I should tell the ex to stop? I don't know why he keeps saying it.

The most recent ex always banged on about how he preferred my hair in a longer bob, I got hair extensions a few times and he just laughed and said my long ponytail looked like some geeky IT guy, stuff like that. I'm glad he's an ex tbh.

Ok, firstly who gives a fuck what they think. Secondly you need to think about the kind of men you are dating, normal decent men don’t mock their girlfriends appearance.

Sounds like just being a rude arsehole rather than negging necessarily.

Thanks, maybe I've misunderstood the word negging a little bit the sentiment is the same.
Ironically both exes were quite insecure about the way they looked so probably taking it out on me.

Your’e giving a rude ex the time of day. I recommend you stop.

Pixie cuts can look stylish and chic. Bobs are classic. Look at women you like the look of and think you could emulate to guide your choices around looks if you’re feeling insecure. Dump men who are rude about or to you.

Stop talking to your ex

Why are you talking to your ex? And why do you care what he thinks? I ask that genuinely. If you like your hair, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it.

They are exs for a reason! Also, pixie cuts and bobs never did Judi Dench or Anna Wintour any harm.

“Thanks for reminding me why we’re not together” 😀

Why do you even care what they (or indeed anyone) think of YOUR hairstyle ?!

It's not negging, just being an arsehole.

I think maybe you’ve misunderstood what negging is. This is not negging, they simply are rude to uou.

Why are you speaking to him? He’s an ex for a reason.

I don’t think he’s negging specifically, just being a dick. Negging would be more like ‘it’s great you felt confident enough to have a hairstyle like that despite what people think of it’. Either way…don’t entertain his nonsense.

He's a twat.

He's doing it to show you he is not interested in you I suppose.

I'd say 'Josh, I'm really not interested in your opinion on my hair, we need to talk about the boiler'.

When people ask is this gaslighting or is this negging or narcissistic or is this any other word used and people say it isn’t quite … what does it matter op if there’s a name for anything? It’s as simple as if it makes you feel bad, they need to know- ie why do you keep saying that? It makes me feel terrible!

he isn't your mate he is an ex boyfriend why as a pp said,are you giving him the time of day and caring what he thinks about your hair?

Stop talking to your ex, any business transactions can be done by email, don't give him any more head space 💐

I think it is negging indeed and that you should email or text him about anything related to the flat and never acknowledge anything else he says.
Cut your hair in any way you like OP.

This is why one shouldn’t hang out with one’s ex. He’s being an arseholr. Block and move on!

Yes email. Why would you even want to talk to him.

My understanding of negging is it is back handed insults from an insecure man to put a woman he thinks is out of his league on the back foot, dent her confidence so she might not realise he is a manipulative toad and isn’t in her league.

Unless you think he is saying this rubbish to try to rekindle your relationship then no, it’s not negging just rude.

Why do you want to know @Feeltherainonyourskin ?

He's your EX, for obvious reasons.
If you have to deal with him, make it only about the flat. He has no control over you but he knows these things will at least hit a nerve so that's why he's doing it. Stop him in his tracks with a put down or openly dismiss him.
Do not give him head room or to make you question your choices. Your hair . Your choice (I'm 52 and haven't had long hair since I was 10, been short cropped since!)

You've got a bob and your ex is a knob. Why even engage with the idiot?

Ex being an arsehole aside, why are you insecure about the shortness of your current style, when you chose it?
It’s not negging, it’s simple nastiness - and it sounds like he’s rightly identified that you have some kind of issue around your hair - to be changing it fairly often, but be insecure about your choices, and choosing to hair extensions in for men… there seems to be a lot of headspace for your hair! So he knows that, and is targeting it for rudeness.

What’s the deal with “the flat”?

Not negging but he sure is a prick….