Is this negging?

[Feeltherainonyourskin]

I used to have a pixie cut, had it for around 3 years but I now have a short bob.
I still speak to my ex sometimes about the flat, I thought we were on fairly good terms but he's said a few times stuff like 'This picture of you from 2021 came up and you practically had a mohican' or a 'bowl cut', or stuff like 'I remember when you practically had a buzz cut'.
They're all exaggerations but he's said it about 3 or 4 times tbh.
When I was going out with him he didn't like me having short hair, neither did another ex of mine, the previous ex actually screamed at me that I looked like a lesbian, when I came back one day with a pixie cut.
I get a lot of men prefer longer hair bla bla bla.
Mine isn't quite long enough to tie up now but I can do a half up half down style, still feel insecure about it being short even though bobs are very common.
Maybe I should tell the ex to stop? I don't know why he keeps saying it.

Stop talking to your exs.

I don't think so, I think negging as being more backhanded compliments from someone who is trying it on with you or in a relationship with you. Its more subtle. So negging would be 'I love your hair, it really suits you as it hides your huge forehead'. He is just being an arse.

This. Short and cutting.

Do you think he’s trying to get back with you? Negging is a tactic to knock you down so you shag them ie. ‘imagine how sexy you could be if you started strength training.’ Think you need to lock the dumpster lid on this fella.

Sorry for only just replying now, thank you for helping me to see that I don't have to put up with it.
I've no interest in going back there, I thought we were on good terms but this was wrong of him and Indeed I shouldn't care what men think.
I'm only a size 6-8 but once he grabbed the loose skin on my arm and said he could fit another arm in there. He's a little overweight so probably projecting.

I don't think you can be on "good terms" with ex partners/friends/whoever I think we need to cut out the pleasantries and move on.

You still sound quite connected to the douchebag ex. Just stop being in contact with him (all necessary communications about the flat via email and just don’t respond to any shitty comments. Grey rock it). Why be on good terms with a complete prick? Time for you to let go.

I have long hair but one boyfriend when I was early 20s pulled a face when I put it in a ponytail one day. I asked what what wrong and he said, I don't like it when you wear your hair up...

He was visibly shocked when I shrugged and said, 'So?' His face was an absolute picture

He's not the only man I've dated that thinks they're entitled to an opinion on how I wear my hair or what clothes I wear. I bought some clothes in the sales and one saw the order over my shoulder. Pulled a face and said, But I don't like jumpsuits though... Well you won't be wearing them sooooo?

And it's not just an opinion, they genuinely think by stating said opinion that it should be interpreted as an order. I don't know where they get their audacity but they obviously got a bulk discount

Rude arsehole. 30 years ago I dated someone for a couple of months until one day he told me I really should grow my hair. I had a pixie cut too. Ended up dumping him 😁👍

I just saw this post on a Dubai thread which I see as negging

I wouldn't want to live there, I'd absolutely hate it. But I love trees and rivers and hills and the seaside. I imagine we are probably quite different though as you seem like money motivates you.

That's why it's different from simply being a bastard.

It's your hair, not his. Love yourself. You're beautiful.

Just to echo everyone else, why are you talking about your haircuts with your ex? Why are you even talking to your ex? Do you share children? If you're selling a shared property, it's probably better to keep contact to email, then you have a record of what was discussed.

My best friend had a pixie cut for YEARS and she looked gorgeous. She only grew it after Covid, when she couldn't get to the hairdresser regularly.

Obviously cut down contact with the ex to the absolute minimum op but also in future try to deal with these comments there and then. It sounds like you need some assertiveness training.

Once someone says something like that to you, stand up straight, breathe, put your head up and your shoulders back, look them in the eye and say something like “and why is that any of your business?”

Absolutely don’t put up with this, shut it down @Feeltherainonyourskin

“you do you mate… you didn’t have any right to an opinion on my hair/clothes/weight/whatever back then, and you don’t now”

This
That sounds like a lot of boundary pushing behaviour.
You do know you don’t have to stay friends with exes? It’s healthy to stand up for yourself and challenge at the time rather than fester.

Just ask him if he still has a small dick.

Communicate through text, if at all. If he says anything say 'I'm not interested in what you think of my hair' and look cross. Why are you listening to this crap?!

He’s just a prick with self esteem issues.

He`s a prick.
Reduce contact with him.
Keep it to email contact only about matters to do with the flat.
Ignore anything else and don't meet up with him.

Negging is a subtle insult disguised as a polite comment. What these men are doing is openly insulting you.

I would be telling them both to fuck off. Any reason you still need to be in touch with them??

And please reassess your self worth and your choice of partners.

Negging can only be in the context of relationships/attraction, can't it?

If you ex is an arse, I think that just makes him an arse.