Don’t have more kids if you can’t afford them!

[SportMum1982]

I’m not a raving Tory! But honestly I would have loved more children!!! I would have loved 4 kids but I know we cannot afford 4 kids.

Why do people expect the state to pay for their children? Bar education though! If I’m being really cruel tell me, but I feel I did want more kids but stopped.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-67999028

To me the problem is that too many full time workers aren't being paid enough to support their families. The state is having to top up with benefits, what the employers should be paying for!
The other huge problem is that men (usually) are allowed to behave as if parenting their children is optional. There should be no reduction in child support paid to the first family because dad has popped out a few more babies with a subsequent partner, or moved in with a woman who has kids. Biological parents should be held financially responsible for their children. And this should be properly enforced. As it is so many non resident dads just don't bother paying for, or do their fair share of care for, the children.

There's also a big difference between having dc and then circumstances change and having dc you can't afford in the first place. I don't know what you do either the latter though, because in the end society has to endure those kids are fed and cared for.

Most people cannot afford to bring up children on one income though. That would mean no one in low paid jobs ever having children.

Most people cannot afford to bring up children on one income though. That would mean no one in low paid jobs ever having children.

I'm with you that being able to be self-sufficient on one income with children isn't realistic for money people.

Still, sticking at max 2 will help quite a lot. If you have 4+ is going to be tough.

To be honest, I don't think it's advisable for a woman to have more children than she can support herself because so many partnerships break down. I think everyone must assume that they're going to end up alone at some point. I know it's unpleasant to think like this, but it's the reality now. So many mothers end up trapped and unable to afford to leave because of children. Always work, if possible, and try to build up savings too.

Surely there's a way to legislate that parents have to contribute to their children in case of relationship breakdown. It'd probably be easier to implement for those that divorce due to records. More often than not it's the father that abandons their kids, but occasionally mothers do.

I knew a man who by the age of 23 had three children by three mothers, and abandoned them all. I was friends with the mother of the youngest child. He never sees the kids, and does not contribute financially. He is on the birth certificate. Something has to be done about it.

@fatphalange You’re correct in that it became easier to access the tablets, but for those who required surgical removal the waits were crazy long making it either no longer within the time limits or out of the mothers comfort zone to feel okay about having an abortion

I've got four. I had mine before the cap (3 are working adults now) and I did need support when their dad left as one wage doesn't meet cost of living. I'd have really struggled without getting tax credits for all of them. We could afford the children we had on two wages.

Unfortunately not everything can be planned for and the children lose out, let down by the absent parent and the state equally. Funnily enough the government will be quite happy to tax the children that didn't get support when they are adults.

The benefits cap doesn't just relate to child benefit though, it relates to the child portion of universal credit, which would relate to £100s, not £10s.

@Overthebow

Agreed.

Death of parent = Term insurance until 21
Illness of Parent = Critical Illness Insurance

These are very easy risks to mitigate and not expensive either.

But from the looks of this thread, there seems to be a lot ignorance around basic insurance decisions when you start a family.

Most women could not support even one child by herself and not have to get any help from benefits, even just for childcare costs. So it really isn't possible to factor in that scenario, it would mean very few being able to have children.

Yes, and now you are dealing with the repercussions of that want.

Is there insurance for when a bloke decides to leave and not pay anything towards his own children?

Yep.

Actually child benefit is not limited to 2 (only means tested benefits are so limited). So in the case of the mother with 5 children in the OP - she would be receiving roughly £20 x 4 x 5 per month unless she is 'earning' over £50k per annum.

By all means correct me if the rules have changed but I had always believed that to be the case

sorry - just realised 2nd and later children get less. So this mother would receive £88 PER WEEK tax free which equates to £4500 approx per year and get all her NI credits until her youngest is 16.

Ah, another one of these fictional people who don't work because they "don't want to." It is literally not possible to do this. If they were not entitled to benefits they wouldn't be getting them.

@Beezknees

Yes, personal savings. Like any other "rainy day" fund.

Pretty much all the horror stories about women getting left alone with no money to pay the bills on here is due to the man monopolising the finances.

You have to have a conversation about this before you get married. When you don't do this, and the man is the provider, you are putting yourself at risk.

If she isn't working though child benefit is included and she might be benefit capped as they take some UC off.

Most people don’t hence the birth rates

In this day and age, savings are a luxury.

From entitled to - When working out your Universal Credit, some other benefits are not taken into account (for example, Child Benefit, Disability Living Allowance, Personal Independence Payment, war pensions and some others).

I can assure you it is possible to claim benefits because you lie.

The neighbours I mentioned are not the only people I know claiming benefits they are not entitled to. My next door neighbour decided he had had enough of working so left his job. After a time he started claiming job seekers. When he realised he could not manage on such a small amount of money he went to his GP and claimed he was depressed and suffering such bad anxiety he could not leave the house so therefore could not work! So he got given benefits which he has now been getting for a year.

Pretty difficult for him to prove he is not lying except he leaves his house almost every day and 4 or 5 days a week he works cash in hand for another neighbour doing gardening and diy work.

These are not fictional people. They are 3 people that I know of in my village of 200 houses. How many people across the country are doing the same?

100% this. The law should change to force absent fathers to contribute, like in the US where they can be properly sanctioned

I’m glad the benefits are capped at 2 kids, otherwise theres no incentive for some women to stop at a sensible number.
The amount of women regularly posting on here about their partners being shit, but still go on to have more kids, then end up struggling as single parents.

Why anyone would want 4-5 kids is beyond me anyway, they must either hate their jobs or cba to work.

The benefits system is there to support those that are disabled and can’t work, looking for work and supporting people on low incomes.

children are a choice , not an obligation.
We live in a country with free contraception, readily available to all

..waiting for the “ my contraceptive failed 5 times” I’m allergic to condoms” comments

Bollocks. I don't believe that these people that are committing alleged fraud go around telling everyone about it. Made up stories to get people frothing.

Is the cap for children belonging to a mother, or children belonging to a father?