To wonder if anyone else gets irrationally angry about small stuff

[Thatsgoodfun]

So for instance at the park, DS is on the swing and welly came off . Laughed but then he was kicking his legs on purpose so they came off. Told him to stop it, ended up going home with ds crying and me angry and I’m wondering why it annoyed me so much.

Someone keeps moving my fork - and when I go to muck out the goat barn it's missing.

I swear to god every second Saturday I go nuclear - how difficult is it to put the bloody fork back.

Lash week I had to use a snow shovel, I banged my head, I hurt my shoulder - I was crying with rage by the end!!!!

I think all the people on neighbouring farms knew about my fork drama!

First sign of menopause for me was irrational anger/ getting annoyed. I used to always be very chill but I would freak out over the smallest of things & then feel super guilty after. Like pms rage every day. HRT saved my sanity! Worth a chat with your gp

Only if I'm completely overwhelmed for example, the other day I was having a hellish day at work then someone dumps some extra job onto me that I don't need or asks me to do something that they can't be bothered to do themselves.
Last week I was manically busy, NHS clinic, patients in and out, acute problems, 101 things to do and think about and my assistant instead of cleaning up after the last patient or checking their notes decides to take a break while I'm off to get the next one in and starts casually peeling oranges on the clinic worktop leaving orange peel and juice everywhere. I really lost my shit.

I find parenting challenging like nothing else. My mum did her best but really struggled, had harder circumstances than I do to manage. I wonder how you think you would have been responded to as a child if you did the welly thing?

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your experiences) lots of parenting is like procedural memory and we just unconsciously do what was done to us. I get ragey about stupid things too but these days I try to be kinder to myself when it happens because I’ve realised that I’ve never had a parent model regulating their own emotions in a healthy way. I’m gradually teaching myself but it takes lots of work. Sorry if none of this is you and I’m just ruminating…

I am early 40s and have had such irrational rage. I presume it's hormonal. I have started taking Black Cohosh supplements and even if it's only placebo I think they have helped after 6 weeks

I used to before I went on HRT. Menopause/peri menopause gives lots of women the rage. Personally I think it’s how the whole Karen thing started.

How do you know if you are in perimenopause ?

Parenting is really challenging and I’ve been so ratty today, and don’t like myself much for it. Hate it as I have gorgeous kids who love me and I feel they will have horrible memories of their childhoods at this rate

If I find myself beginning to lose it, I use the good old fashioned Count to 10 method. Can't say it always works, but mostly reduces the rage. I then feel inordinately proud of my self control 😊😊

This post is bloody annoying.

I think with the toddler picking your battles really helps. Who cares if his boots are off? Just put them on to go home. You choose which power struggles you show up for. Most of them aren’t worth it.

Do you have much bigger things going on in your life which are out of your control?

I found that when I was going through really stressful times that I couldn't control, for example a dying parent during covid restrictions, I would lose it at the small stuff. It was never about the small thing, but if I blew up about what was really upsetting me I'd probably breakdown and for some reason felt I needed to pretend I was coping.

I've found my people...

When I run the country, there will be sanctions for these offences

My partner is like this and so was his mother. They are both autistic and react when things are not as they would like them to be.

Most days I feel like Michael Douglas in ‘Falling Down’.

www.mentalhealthireland.ie/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Menopause-Maze-symptom-checker-via-NWoulfe.pdf?external=1

Have a look through the checklist and see if you tick many boxes.

The rage thing was first for me & inability to loose weight. Docs kinda dismissed me as I was only 38 so they thought too young. It wasn't until I got my first hot flush that I realised it was meno. Went back to doc & got hormone bloods taken & FSH levels can show if you are peri. On hrt since I'm 40.

“The straw that broke the camel’s back”

^This saying is so true.

You get annoyed about the little, inconsequential things (like the wellies) because there is something bigger going on for you behind the scenes - tiredness / anxiety / depression / hormonal changes.

If you can pinpoint any of the above and seek help then you may find the smaller things become easier to deal with.
All the best OP.

You mark my words, it will be one of the goat's moving it

Can we have pictures of your goats ?

Hmm. So I don’t think it sounds like perimenopause but I am only 6 months postpartum so eg periods haven’t returned and disrupted sleep is a given! I do keep getting really pissed off with small things. I’m going to try to channel my fury into things that deserve it like my fucking car blaring out music whenever I get in it. I’m sure there’s a way to stop this but I’ve no idea what and I hate it.

Depression can definitely make you less patient and find any little thing makes you upset or angry in a disproportionate way. It’s worth looking into and good for you for being so aware. When I got my tapering dose of antidepressants wrong (long story that’s still ongoing) it was a good reminder how suddenly I found it hard to remain patient with say, very minor work niggles.

I keep dithering over calling the GP. I can’t imagine opening up to them, plus the receptionists always want to know what’s up and I don’t want to tell them!

I used to when I was younger and it was a sign of an underlying unhappiness I was going through at the time. Could this be the same for you? If there is something in your life that is eating away at you, like dissatisfaction, guilt or resentment, it can manifest itself in a bad temper/mood swings.

If you want to stop feeling angry all the time, you need to address the underlying issues, as difficult as that may be.

It’s tiredness and I think general lack of self care and confidence. I have two very little children and I adore them. But they are children and they do behave like children and rationally I understand this, when caught in the moment I take it personally which is ridiculous, snap, feel guilty etc.

Op, take a look at this! I got irrational annoyed about something daft yesterday as my 'bucket' is currently quite full

Stress bucket

From a different angle i.e. not motherhood but more community, government, business etc if we do not make one hell of a fuss at the small things you can be damn sure the big things will come next and it will be then too late to do anything, to turn the ship around. We are heading for disaster, going to hell in a wheelbarrow and it will take a miracle to change things.

The word "collywobbles" incites homicidal rage 😂