To think we are considerably richer than yaw

[ChedderGorgeous]

Mumsnet is rife with people either asking how people make so much money (and obviously ignored family duties in doing so), or others outraged that people might be envious of them as 'higher earners'. I think it's because it's very British not to ask about money irl, when a forum allows such anonymous questions it turns into a mudpit of arguments. Perhaps if we were more open like Americans, there wouldn't be underlying resentment?

We have never had a single discussion with friends about what they earn. Or what money we gave. My DDs are always discussing their earnings with me but I guess not with friends.

With many of our friends working in local government, they mostly moaned down the years but have all retired early on final salary pensions. Except one! So they will be fine. It’s also quite clear others have better holidays, houses and cars. They do earn more but they own businesses and take risks. They employ people. They save for their own pensions with no employer input. None of this is discussed though and it’s probably to remain friends. If someone kept saying they earn 6 times the salary of others it might not be conducive to a good friendship. Finding other things to talk about isn’t that difficult.

I'd totally forgotten about those sketches, but yes, totally loads of that going on - especially rife at the moment I think because of the cost of living crisis. It's almost like a defense mechanism that's triggered in this economic climate. Apparently sales of brazen designer clothes goes up when recession hits.

The true defence against this is to have rock solid self esteem that's not tied to wealth/income/belongings. That and financial peace. All easier said than done.

This is true of intelligence and looks but not money, IMHO.

You can't do much if you haven't got much.

I agree with this.

I also think it's good to talk about finances as it encourages financial literacy.

Why?

IRL I don't really discuss our personal finances in any detail. However, looking at our lifestyle is clear that we're affluent (and no, we don't use credit cards or loans to finance any of it).

I’m very open about what I earn. I think it’s important, particularly for women, who often end up underpaid because they don’t ask for promotions or pay rises. If you’ve no reference point for what your peers earn and just assume that it must be similar to you, it makes it harder to fight for what you’re really worth.

This. I feel really strongly about this. Pay secrecy tends to hurt women, the poorest, the most vulnerable etc

I wouldn't want to be an American. I'd have to spend at least some of the time with people who vote for Trump.

Ive actually sat down with my team before, including the most junior, and shown them typical pay levels at all the grades plus pointed out a few skills or experience types that can differentiate pay. I really appreciated my boss sharing pay details with me.

I think the OP is probably confusing 'yaw' in the title with the phrase 'in days of yore' meaning the olden days. To yaw is to swing from side to side , in a boat for instance.

It's a quote from the comedy sketch pictured. It mimics the accents the characters used.

I thought we established last week that VeraValentine is the richest person on MNs 😀

It’s a tricky balance. In various sectors there is sadly ample evidence of a gender gap in earnings, and sharing data could help with that. In many instances I know of this is not logical, it is ageist, sexist , mostly both - older women in my sector are really hit hard.

And I believe that there is a lot of exaggeration on Mumsnet , which doesn’t help anything. Women should find a way to give each other a better idea of the state if play. We are definitely better together

But at a personal level I am with PPs who don’t push it. I actually have a couple of longstanding American friends, from my time working there, who support Donald Trump and it has taken a lot of effort on both sides to maintain the friendships. (These are thoughtful academics).

The medical doctor amongst them stuck his neck out for irregular immigrants, outside of channels, in a way that I am fairly certain no pro-immigrant training (which I support) would endorse. People are complicated and we should respect that.

I'm Swedish and we are very open about money. I know how much all of my friends earn, how much their homes are worth etc. Even the guy I'm seeing (3 dates in) told me how much he earns. Having spent the last 20 years in the UK it's really refreshing to be around people who aren't so cagey about their financial situation. I really think it's beneficial to be transparent about things like this on a grander scheme.

They aren't rude questions though.

Just genuine intrigue.

Possibly because your jeans did look expensive and your bracelet. And if you live in a nice area, well, someone will say so and give approval.

It's people's way of being nice and making chat.

I find Swedes very matter of fact and open and honest.

But I also find them a bit one dimensional and robotic.

They're not fun passionate people.

We Brits may not discuss money, but we discuss most other things and show a bit of enthusiasm for life. 👍

"Yaw" is how these characters in The Fast Show pronounced "you".

I heard it as more like "Yao".

I think they were from the black country area and their catchphrase was "We"re considerably richer than yao!"

All Swedish people are 'one dimensional and robotic'? That's bloody offensive.

I totally disagree people should know what everyone else is being paid, it just creates bitterness. In my old job I earned more than most people I worked with because of my diploma and degree, where I’d worked before that and because I negotiated (and was lucky too of course, I don’t doubt that!)

Money, like health, shouldn’t be a source of embarrassment (or unwarranted pride).

I agree with a PP that discussing earnings with people in similar positions is open and sensible.

However, threads where families on £500k a year are talking about their money ‘worries’ on a forum where some are managing on less than a tenth of that just seems crass.

Not really.

It wasn't meant as a criticism, more of an observation, and if you find that offensive, then there's no hope for you.

Germans, Norwegians etc. I find the same.

Northern European people have that demeanour, compared to say Spanish, Greeks and Italians, who are more frivolous and passionate on personality.

@RoachFish My DD dates a guy who is Swedish. Not quite sure his family have been open about money from what I hear! I’m also wondering if the Swedes talk so openly about debt? All very well talking about what value you place on things, but even Swedes are not all rich! Most people here can ascertain the value of a house if they wish but not the mortgage taken out on it!

Truly rich people may not talk about their wealth out loud but they make sure everyone knows how rich they are by displaying their expensive toys, jewelry, cars , clothes, holidays etc.

isn’t it all tied to class & privilege ie most of the higher earners here will have a fair bit of privilege. We have bad social mobility & high levels of inequality which is embarrassing I guess.

Penjil - just stop with the stereotyping. You don't seem to have realised how offensive your posts were, but maybe think?

You've stated as fact that the people of three countries are robotic, while another three countries are full of frivolous people. It can't even be close to true, logically speaking. Generalised 'observations' like this are never fair.