To think a gastric band is the best option

[Tiredboymum22]

DH has gained around 6 or 7 stone since we’ve been together. He’s around 26.5 st and a 5XL. No nasty comments please because he’s depressed enough about it. I’m on the chubby side myself for my height but I’m not obese (size 12 but I’m v short). We’re not really intimate anymore and he’s hurt his knees trying to do sports, etc, which he always loved.

Every time he tries dieting, he goes for extreme options like Keto or juice cleanses which are expensive and unsustainable. He’ll cut out food like bread or pasta but end up caving and eating a pack of biscuits by the end of the week/month thus the cycle continues.

I’ve been told I shouldn’t buy processed junk food but we have an autistic son who’s underweight and only eats stuff like pasta, chips, chicken nuggets, etc. So the temptation is always there.

I know two people who struggled to lose weight for years until they sought professional help and got a gastric band via the NHS. DH thinks it’s cheating.

AIBU to think it’s gone too far now and medical intervention is needed.

It only works long term if the person changes their eating habits, though. It isn't a magic wand.

Medical intervention, potentially. Gastric band, no.

I don't think it's cheating but it is drastic and can have serious long term consequences, as can being obese of course, but there are other ways. Instead of the extreme diets simply calorie counting to start? I would be trying to see a dietitian

Tell him to watch a video on YouTube. Search for Ethan Suplee RP strength

What has been the cause of the weight gain? That will need to be addressed otherwise a gastric band will only be a temporary fix. Realistically, if it took a few years to put on its probably going to take the same to come off sustainably. Yes, you could do it quicker by severely restrictive dieting but that's not sustainable.

Having a gastric band fitted is major surgery and should not be undertaken unless there really is no other option. At his weight, surgery is even riskier and it may well be that he is asked to lose some weight before the sleeve can be fitted.

Can you both draw up a meal plan - no crash diets, just healthy food and sensible portions - and you both stick to it?

Edit: sorry, I thought you said 6-7 years you'd been together, not 6-7 stone.

He needs to try a sustainable diet rather than an extreme faddy one. Get him to check of Team RH. I know a few people who have lost multiple stones with it and don't feel like they're starving.

It's all based on calorie deficit. They set your calories to a manageable amount so you don't get hungry and end up bingeing. It's only about £7-8 a month and you have constant support.

He doesn't have to do drastic diets , much too hard to stick to long term, he'd be better off with a sensible diet that takes the weight off gradually

Weight loss surgery possibly. Gastric band no. Is the most dangerous of all of them with the potential for complications much higher than gastric bypass or gastric sleeve.

@cindyhove a gastric bypass sounds like a safer option

It is!

Would he consider this?

He needs to understand that he is not only shortening his life considerably but is also restricting things he can do with his family and could end up alone.

Tricky - i tend to find this advice works great for not getting overweight in the first place, but the reality is to lose weight you need to cut calories below what you are burning. If you have a sedentary lifestyle (office job for example), this is a pretty low calorie intake. You feel hungry and hunger day after day week after week is a horrible form of torture.

What does your doctor think? Seriously you need medical advice and a plan which will all take time but jumping straight to surgery- are you proposing private surgery to avoid all the interim measures that would be necessary on the NHS?

He needs a full assessment and bloods before any plan can be considered.

Good luck with this though. I believe that in cases such as this surgery is often the most successful route to sustained weight loss but ONLY when the correct processes are followed. Also the injections available now may be a suitable option.

Long short, see your GP together.

Has he tried ozempic? I found it life changing. Got rid of hunger pangs so suddenly sticking to a diet was easy as i didn’t have hunger pangs x

Yes but not band.you need to do some research as they have significant complication rates.

Ive had bariatric surgery, all the evidence shows people don't lose weight and keep it off through dieting. I think there is a lot we don't understand about weight and bodies. People will say calories in calories out, move more etc... But I'd it wss so simple people would.

So I think you are right to think about surgery but absolutely not the band. Also many placed don't offer this anymore.

Someone 26 stone probably burning about 3.5 - 4k calories a day just living. So even being in a 500 calorie deficit will cause them to lose weight. Some of these fad diets are 800-1200 calories with is just a ridiculous deficit for someone 26 stone and exactly why they can't stick to it for long.

My friend's mother had gastric band surgery and nearly died. I wouldn't rush to that option.

Gastric surgery is far from the EASY option, or cheating. It’s a fully committed life change…ask me how I know …best thing I ever did, but it’s a HUGE lifelong commitment

I had a gastric bypass years ago and was similar size to your husband. Your DH wouldn't be a candidate for a band as that's for people with less to lose.

There's a huge process to getting medical intervention, psych evals, a total lifestyle change and learning how to eat again AND it only works if you make it work. It was life changing for me though. Lost 10st, and kept it off.

Would he consider Weightwatchers or Slimming World, perhaps combined with Ozempic/Wegovy to control his appetite while he gets used to it.? I feel your pain with the autism issue. Our DD has anorexia and needs to eat 6 times a day, which means the house is full of snacks (we used to have what the kids call an 'ingredients house' where I cooked from scratch) - not great for me nor diabetic DH!

Gastric bands aren’t recommended anymore. He’d be better off getting a gastric sleeve or gastric bypass. Once you become morbidly obese for a long period of time it’s almost impossible to keep the weight off even if you do manage to lose it, very few people can maintain a weightloss of that magnitude. The body will always force you back up to that original heavy weight, it will even slow down your metabolism to get you back there. If you’re only overweight for a shorter period of time but you’re naturally slimmer it’s easier to go back to your normal weight and stay there without much effort. Take Slimming World for example, you’ll see women who’ve gained weight for example through pregnancy, praised for getting back to their normal weight and maintaining it easily. Now look at those who have been obese for 10 years and they lose the weight, less than a year or a two at max and they are back to where they were or bigger….same faces at club year after year. Dieting will not work when you are morbidly obese, but it keeps those pushing the plans/meals making easy money!

@Plinkyplonky2 but if you eat the right diet you don't have to be starving all the time. A lot of people just snack all the time and it's all the fatty, sugary high calorie foods

A family member of mine who tried everything, and was hindered my a crisis of confidence, had a gastric sleeve op. Best thing she ever did - it does mean you are restricted pretty much forever in some things you can’t eat but totally worth it for the results

Gastric bands can fail, cause serious health problems and when you look at them they’re basically forced long-term extreme diets, far more so than keto for example. No easy options unfortunately and a gastric band definitely isn’t an easy option. I believe you also have to prove you can lose some weight before you’re even eligible for one.

Take him to the GP and see what they advise. There are several tiers of weight loss support on the NHS, and they're all evidence based and supported by clinicians.