Potential same birth date as SIL

[Keroppifrog2024]

Hey All,

I have a situation and I really need to know AIBU.

My SIL and me have had a lot of animosity over the years as she is constantly comparing herself financially to me and my husband. We both worked full time in reasonably well paid jobs but after the birth of her son has gone part time and on universal credit (her partner works full time).

My husband practically raised her as thier dad passed away when they were young and he has always paid for things (laptops, phones etc) and have lent her money numerous times that has never been paid back.

She has a history of pushing the boundaries I set and then stating that 'I am being too highly strung' and few examples are:

1- smoking in our flat when I expressly said not to
2- taking display items off of shelves and giving them to her so when I told her not to and them getting broken
3- final straw was we got hacked and money stolen and my husband in a panic transferred money to her for safekeeping whilst 3 days later she then asked to keep it as we 'clearly have more money'

Me and my husband are expecting our first child and the due date is 7th March but now due to gestational diabities I will need to be induced a week early. This poses a risk of our daughter being born on the same day as our nephew (SIL child).

Previously I had a low lying placenta so was told a C section is the only option but it's now moved so I can give birth vaginally.

Is it stupid to go for a C section just to avoid having a child on the same day??

I just know if they share a birthday it will be endless years of SIL asking to share birthday parties (but we will b expected to pay) and endless snide comments.

AIBU?

Whatever happens, its likely your child will be born within a week or so of his birthday. Which means nearest weekend to both will be the same too most likely so she will still want to share! It's going to be a problem whatever so take the stress off and cut her out.

Whether your children are born on the same day it’s likely they will be born close together - so SIL could still ask to share, Learn to say no and mean it.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

She is a CF and she will attempt joint parties if shared birthday or same week. Just fo what is best for you and the baby and deal with shared party issue if it comes up.

She may still ask for joint parties whether it’s the same day, a week out or even a few weeks out. Just say no. Don’t consider it in your birth plans

My DS and my sister have the same birthday - it’s no issue and we don’t do joint parties. Just do whatever you think is best for you and your baby and don’t let her dictate something so important.

Children's birthday parties always happen on the weekend regardless which day of the week a child is born. So if that's your worry it's likely to happen anyway unless you and your husband learn to stand up for yourself. Secondly very few children are born on the day their parents think they will be born. Thirdly you don't want to go for a surgery for this reason.

If your nephew is already 3 then it’s a fair gap to be avoiding a joint party. He’s also unlikely to be wanting to share a party with a girl 3 years younger. Don’t over think it!

OMG your child's health and your well being should be a priority. Either you or your DH tell her NO and mean it.

My son and my niece have birthdays 1 day apart. Although they do have a 9 year age gap which might make a difference.

But they actually love it. DS tells niece she's the best birthday present he ever had. She thinks almost having the same birthday as her hero is the best thing in the world. It's adorable.

No, it doesn’t. Why do you think that?

There's no way you can guarantee they won't share a birthday whatever you do,

Children's birthdays have fuck all to do with this, YABU.

I think that if you let her affect something as important as your medical choices, you will resent her even more in the future!

Make it clear to your husband that she on her absolute last chance with you, so he needs to not be giving her money or treating her like she's his child

C sections are major surgery. This is not a good reason to voluntarily have major surgery.

Stop planing major surgery around otter peoples birthdays and start saying no to your sister law! Your DH needs to do this as well!

You are all nuts

the end

A week won't make a difference. My daughter and niece are a week apart and we sometimes shared birthday parties (usually the weekend between the birthdays). Obviously in our case it was willingly; I very much doubt a week will put your SIL off.

Do what's best for you :)

Do what's right for you.

Thanks!