Why do men do this?

[ihayemen]

Broke up with DP a few months ago. Been talking pretty much daily, mostly arguing but he made it clear he wants to be back together

I slept with someone and I told him when he asked.

He then slept with other women and did stuff with some too.

Says he did it cos he was drunk; missing me and to distract himself from the hurt. Says he didn't like the women or find them attractive, he just basically used them. Denies even wanting sex with them but that's gotta be bs if he kept doing it. :says he wanted to feel wanted.

Which gives me the ick

Why do men do this? Why not just talk it out with me?

AIBU: you're naive, he wanted them not you
YNBU: men are shit

So when you do it, it’s ok but when he does it that’s bad ?

I slept with someone

When's the wedding?

Does it matter?

Errrrr you did it first ????

I don't think you two should get back together.

Your not in a relationship so you both can sleep with who you want providing it's consensual.stop worrying about what each other is doing and move on.

Couldn't be bothered with the drama, you both sound immature.

Why do you care what he's doing?

You're not together any more - why do you think he's being a shit for behaving as a single man when he is one?

This is a very ill informed perspective I offer here, but I suggest you two do not get back together. It does not sound like it would be a good idea.

How strange

Why do men do what? You have broken up and both slept with other people. He isn’t DP any more either, he is an ex.

I'm not sure what is worse. Worrying about what your ex was / is doing while you are doing the same yourself, or posting about it on mumsnet expecting some sort of vindication.

The drama sounds exhausting.
If you broke up, he’s not a dp, he’s an ex. Why are you talking everyday? Why would you choose to interact everyday with someone just to argue?

The secret to finding a great partner is to move on from the not so great ones.

And he’s not even not so great. He sounds awful, treating women as objects, and not even having the wit to pretend otherwise. How a man treats women he isn’t attracted or related to, shows you who he is and what you’ll be dealing with when life hits road bumps.

Block him. And take a careful look at why you’re vulnerable to this drama- you deserve better but there’s a hole in your defences.

He shouldn’t have to justify his actions - he’s single, plus you had already slept with someone else.

What exactly is your complaint - that he also slept around, as you did, or…that he tried to excuse himself clumsily afterwards?

Am I missing something? You also slept with someone else...

Do you honestly think that women don't ever sleep with men they are not attracted to?

YANBU - some men are shit. As you’ve broken up it’s not his business what you do and not your business what he does.

I would stop talking if you don’t want to get back together.

None of it matters- this relationship is dead in the water.

Move on.

It doesn’t sound like what the op did is the same as what he did. Op slept with someone else her ex used women he doesn’t find attractive to distract himself from the woman he really likes. I wouldn’t want to be with a man who uses women he doesn’t find attractive for sex but I would get back together with a man who slept with someone else on a break like the op did.

Whaatttt?. You both did the same thing. Surely your question should be why do WE (as in you and your ex) do this?

Why do men do what?

You both broke up, you both then slept with other people. What's the male specific behaviour here?

Op I think what you are asking is why men sometimes sleep with women who they are not attracted to or interested in? The answer is for the same reasons women do, for an ego boost, because they got too drunk, because someone tried it on with them and they were flattered, because they are bored and they have the opportunity.

Your ‘friendship’ with your ex sounds very toxic. You need to move on with your lives and stop tormenting each other with the details of your sex life.

Didn't you post about the same thing last week?

You aren’t together so you can both sleep with randoms when you want to!

why are you still talking daily if you’ve broken up?

You have split up

what you both do is your business

ask yourself why are you telling him too

and really best to move on