Judging new neighbours already

[TigerLily40]

So I'm moving away from two neighbours from hell. Went in by the flat we are moving into today and saw a guy who let's say looks dodgy outside the next building smoking a cigarette. He reminded slightly of the NFH.

Am I the asshole for being judgemental like this or is this just moving nerves. I have had neighbours before who some may say look like 'undesirables' but got along with them the most.

I'm just scared that we will go through the same again. I know living in a city you can't escape drug users, drug dealing, noise etc but just can't go through this all again. Maybe I just need to be more positive. It is a nice area and the housing association (other flats are mainly private) said it is generally quiet with no known issues.

I feel a judgemental a**hole tbh but as mentioned maybe just nervous.

@WhycantIkeepthisbloodyplantalive I would massively judge a heart surgeon who smoked. What an absolute idiot. He must spend much of his working life fixing the damage done by smoking, so to smoke himself makes him monumentally stupid or incredibly arrogant (having known vascular surgeons who smoked, I suspect the latter) .

A heart surgeon who smoke is decidedly dodgy!

The worst neighbour I ever had was living between a trust fund kid and a kept (I think mistress). Very rich but rude and entitled. I now live on a generally working class, retired street and whilst there are “characters“ everyone is kind and considerate.

As long as I don't have to smell it, it wouldn't worry about him. I admit I do judge people for smoking but that doesn't make them bad people. He might be a really nice guy (other than the smoking).

@DontTouchMyDog it's not the fact that he was smoking, it was that he reminded me of my neighbour from hell and makes me fearful I may face the same issues

Hopefully he is different to your neighbour. I can understand that when you've gone to the trouble to move away from someone, seeing something that reminds you of it in your new place might trigger some concern.

Seriously doubt that!!!

Really? Why?

I've suffered with bad neighbours, so bad they were eventually evicted, and it definitely scars you. I have massive anxiety over new neighbours because of it. I recently had a neighbour who looked pretty rough and sat on the front step a lot smoking. We never had any problems with him at all, didn't know he was there, apart from the cigarette butts.

@Blinky21 it really messes with your head doesn't it? I just want to move on. I just saw him and instantly thought, oh great another drugged up a**hole to deal with. But that really is judging a book by it's cover

I had neighbours from hell 2 years ago and it still affects me mentally today. So, I totally get where you're coming from, OP!

I wish you the best of luck in your new home and I hope you have nothing but nice neighbours that you can get along with

Was unfortunate to be between 2 neighbors from hell.

One side drug dealers with cars coming and going all day and night.

Other side was a nosy hoarder would would scream at me for hanging my wash out because she hated the washing powder I used. Her house reeked of cat piss and shit.

In two homes I bought and lived in I've had awful neighbours, couldn't wait to leave both of them at considerable expense, and they were both in expensive and very nice areas. I've owned 5 homes in total so 2 out of 5 is good for me. I do understand your apprehension.

I do hope you have a better time in your new home and wishing you all the very best @TigerLily40 x

@RantyAnty know that feeling. I have an antisocial drug dealer who screams and lets his dog shit everywhere and another who just screams at her dog all day and leaves it barking. It is really extreme here.

@placemats what did they do?

Well the first one was a single man who worked in the city and had a penchant for playing Queen very loud.

He once put an uncooked chicken in the communal bin, he had the upstairs flat and we had the garden flat, and the refuse collection told me that there were maggots in the bin. I had to clean it out. I was on maternity leave with a 4 month old and a 2 year old. I did tell him about it and he was most apologetic and was not a problem after that.

2nd neighbours were just rough and awful. Very exclusive estate, so unlucky. The straw was when my daughters came to us to say that they were running naked in their back garden and screaming their heads off. Obviously drug and alcohol fuelled night.

I don't mind the odd party and shindig but keep it clean and let us know.

And yes on the second neighbour, we did say to the buyers. They laughed but funny the house was sold again two years later.

Beware the seemingly quiet, seemingly normal, 'We're a lovely family' ones. Ours are 100% weirdos and I am convinced that the 'man' of the house is one day going to crack and ... I hate to think. I try not to think about the poor children. The atmosphere they create is like the start of a horror film, just waiting for the main action.

Every neighbourhood has issues. One naice neighbourhood I lived in, the father shot the 2 teenage kids then himself. Mum was at work at the time. A different naice neighbouring a father rigged up an elaborate gas thing in the roof and gassed the whole family one night, including themselves, wife and kids. Both families impeccably behaved socially in the neighbourhood though! Is saying ‘but at least it didn’t impact me with noise and antisocial behaviour’ any better🤯.

You will be hyper vigilant due to the experiences with the NFH, I’ve been there and my nerves were shot to pieces. With age and time and things being quiet now my nerves have calmed down. I really hope you have decent neighbours

@GintyMcGinty not judging that he is smoking a cigarette. He just reminded me of my NFH