Help me help my 4 year old

[carwas]

My just turned 4 year old can't write her name yet.

She's starting to learn phonics at nursery, which is great.

I really want to support her in learning to write her name. She likes colouring and drawing a lot.

I was speaking to one of the other mums in my DD's class who said that ' she finally got her DD to write her name properly a couple of months back ' and it took ' a lot of work '.

I've also tried to encourage my DD to write her name but she gets really annoyed and stubborn and doesn't want to do stuff if you try to push her ( even if we do it in a fun way ). We really encourage her and praise whatever she does do.

My husband says I need to spend more time helping her write her and the reason she can't is because I haven't bothered. But I have tried, I just notice she gets frustrated and doesn't want to do it. Maybe I'm trying to support her the wrong way ?

But the fact this other mum said she really had to push for her DD to finally be able to write it, made me think. Because I literally can't push my DD or she gives up. I'm worried I don't know how to help her because she shuts down a bit when I do ' try '. I had just left trying to help her write her name and instead encourage her to do colouring in with pencils and I've bought lots of things to help strengthen her muscles. Like plasticine and different games to help her strengthen her muscles basically.

Lots of the mums in DD's school say their children can already read and write sentences and they're 3 and a half - 4 years old. It's stressing me out that I'm not doing enough for her. But when I try, she doesn't want to do it.

Don’t stress about this. Ava or Tom is going to have an easier time learning to write this name than Elizabeth or Benjamin. Any chance this person’s child has a short name ? Have you seen evidence of her writing her name ? Writing is harder than reading as it takes physical strength in arms and fingers to do it. As others have said, focus on activities that strengthen writing muscles like playdoh and don’t force writing. You don’t want her to be resistant to learning.

In nursery, they encouraged kids in “mark making” That’s apparently the first stage of writing. So say you have a shopping list and she makes a mark next to each item you’ve bought, that’s mark making. If she’s open to activity books like mazes, colouring and where you connect 2 items with a line then that is plenty to get her practicing writing.

Writing and reading are one of those things that they pick up quickly when ready. Keep reading to her, let her see you write and have pens, crayons, pencils available for when she’s in the mood and she will be fine.

I’d back off a bit I think. If you push her too much it might just make her more anxious about school and the ‘work’ that comes with it. My DS didn’t know how to write his name either when he started school.

She’s just turned 4, it’s a non-issue. There are plenty of children in DS’s reception class who can’t write their name (we get sent lots of photos of their work!).

DS could read and write before school but couldn't ride a bike/trike till 7, couldn't get dressed, couldn't climb/ballance couldn't cut up food or drink very well from a cup. Couldn't kick a ball. Now older his handwriting is appalling but he's brilliant at football and can climb really high. It all evens out.

They teach them this when they start reception. It’s great if they can already do it when they start, but it doesn’t give them an advantage at all. They all get there in the end.

This thread is so reassuring! My 4 year old ds starts school in September and has no interest at all in writing or even colouring really. Doesn't hold a pen properly and is still ambidextrous.

We do play doh, beads, sand and water play and are always at the park or soft play. I do try to sit with him and do tracing, "workbooks" with mazes, letter games etc but it's hard going and I don't want to put him off.

I mostly know he'll get there and he's young but my god when all the other parents are talking about how their kids reading harry potter to them and writing war and peace 2024 it's hard not to worry you're not doing enough!

My twins are about to turn 4, and are nowhere near being able to write their names. I didn't realise they should be close to being able to.

I've no concerns with their development. They know all the alphabet and can point at any letter and say what it is. They can write a few random letters - though some maybe written upside down. One twin does "writing", which is squiggles which look like letters. The other twin doesn't hold his pen properly. They can count to 100 and do addition/subtraction in their heads (e.g. 3+3=6, 6-1=5).

Luckily yesterday I got them a letters "wipe clean" book which they love, so will practise more of this, and playing playdoh etc.