Is it normal to always think that people dislike you

[onceuponatimeinfairyland]

I've been wondering this for a while. I do have ocd and anxiety around that but that's pretty well managed with medication (or so I hope!). But everyday I spend so much time worrying that people don't like/hate me. If I go to have a conversation with somebody at work I apologise before I've even walked in the door for taking up their time. I then replay the conversation in my head over and over and convince myself that they must be talking about me to somebody else about how awful or annoying I am.
I specifically go out of my way to be over kind and over generous to people just because I worry about how they think of me. I also spend almost every night losing sleep running over conversations, not just from that day but it could be from years ago and really stressing about it. Everytime I think of certain conversations I feel so embarrassed and hate myself for any little thing I've said.

It's obviously not a very nice way to think all the time so I'm just wondering is this how most people feel and I just have to suck it up and get on with it or is there something I can do to change myself?

I'm following because I too have OCD and this is my constant state of being.

No it’s not normal and it’s no way to live: it’s holding you back in so many ways. You say your anxiety and OCD are well managed but it doesn’t sound like they are.

Have you had counselling for this?

Hi OP. I had a really bad bout of this a few years ago after Covid. Struggled socially which I had never before and constantly felt like I was the spare part and that no one truly liked me. Turned out I was just suffering from a form of anxiety and sertraline helped me so much.

I'm not off it but I used it for a good year and I gradually felt better and began to not care and then realised i was my own demon. Hope you get it sorted

No, I never feel like this. I assume most people like me or are indifferent

I'd keep working on your treatment. Have you tried CBT?

Now off it*

I definitely don't think like this. Maybe with certain people based on our history, or if i drank too much and have a psychological hangover, but generally no. It sounds awful and exhausting.

Thanks for the replies. I am on 150mg of sertraline and it's massively helped in terms of me not having to do my daily repetitive routines with my ocd. However it's never made any difference to these feelings. I have had cbt in the past for something else but never found I got much from it.

I used to feel like this but something shifted when I hit 30 and I just stopped caring what people think. I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings but I realised I didn't have to be more than polite or nice generally.
Now I'm just myself. If people like me, they like me. If they don't, they don't. As long as I've been kind I don't care

@fcrm2223 I would literally give anything to be able to think like that!

Maybe repeat it like a mantra even out loud when the intrusive thoughts come. Shout it over them so you can't hear them.
I've had anxiety in the past and the only advice I can give is try to do other things. The worst thing you can do is ruminate xx

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/friendship-20/201907/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria?amp

No, everyone doesn't think like this. It's a pretty damaging, self-sabotaging mindset. I think you should have another word with your GP as that kind of anxiety must be really limiting.

Sounds very stressful to live with insecurities like that. I've never given a thought whether other people like me or not. If they don't? So what? What would happen?
The truth is that other people are absolutely free to think what they want, it's out of your control. You can only control your reaction to it. Also, often, other people are too busy thinking about themselves/ what they are doing for dinner, etc

The truth is most people aren't thinking about you. They are thinking about the CoL.

I don't have OCD but I do have very low self esteem and I go over conversations in my head and I anticipate conversations I might have in which I usually come off worse so I understand were you are coming from.
I found cbt very helpful maybe you need to focus it on self image and trying to break the cycle of repetitive thoughts.
Good luck with it, don't give up

No, that isn't normal thinking at all.

I suspect most of us, at some point in our lives will have replayed one conversation for one reason or another, when someone's reaction has puzzled us, but not all day everyday like you describe.

I really feel for you! This way of thinking will be causing you unhappiness and affecting your ability to form good relationships. Did you have a rough upbringing or experience bullying as a child?

Sounds like you do people pleasing to compensate for feeling others don’t like you, and that means they don’t get to see you as the natural, lovely person you are.

Id recommend Anna Runkle on YouTube and also books by Martin Seligman.

OP have a read of the article I linked to. I think it sounds like you have Rejection Sensitive Disorder.

Not uncommon to experience this if you already have an element of anxiety.

Nope because I know no one is really thinking about me. Like you most of the population spend about 99% of their time thinking about themselves.

Have you tried counselling op? This sounds really stressful.

@SighthoundSusie that link was really helpful thank you, that's exactly how I feel.

@Ambi I know I really shouldn't care because I know it really shouldn't matter. It sounds completely irrational but I literally feel on the verge of a panic attack if I think somebody doesn't hates me or I've done something to upset them. The stupid thing is I have no idea why, it just feels like something absolutely awful is about to happen, that's the only way I can describe it.

@dotdotdotdash I didn't experience bullying or anything like that but I did have a pretty hard childhood with lots of SA. I've had councilling for that but I think it still probably affects my anxiety.

No, is not normal but I've always been like that too, until 100mg Sertraline fixed it for me. Now I only get paranoid around the time of my period. CBT didn't work but medication did. Maybe you need a higher dose?

Look into ways to address Complex Post-traumatic Distress Disorder (C-PTSD) and emotional dysregulation. It's good you are working on it. All the best.

I really feel for you living with this. I have something similar, I'm afraid that if I cross someone they will try to harm me, socially, in particular turn everybody against me.

It may help to look at the people that you percieve as being liked .... some are lovely, others swan in and hold the room with the latest boyfriend problem and others are all shades in between ... look at how accepting people are of them, assume there is that same acceptance of you? Hope this helps.