Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried I've made a male friend uncomfortable, should I apologise?

60 replies

Duckduckduckgoose1 · 27/01/2024 14:44

I can't be certain I have, but I'm worrying. I've only really known him a few months, and I'm fairly certain it's only friendly between us nothing more.
He asked me to hang out after work next week which I agreed to, we've met up once before. We chat a lot online at work too, I hardly ever see him in person due to different office days.
Anyway, we talk almost every day.
He told me he likes talking to me and that we have a lot in common, he said to a mutual friend I'm very sweet and laid back, and I said the same about him.
I feel like he's really easy to get on with and I appreciate him as a person.
Anyway for some reason I'm worrying I've given him the wrong impression..
Basically we have a mutual colleague at work who's a bit younger. He was being very sleazy the other day towards another female at work, being quite inappropriate.
I joked with my male friend 'At least you're a bit more respectful than that!'
I meant it genuinely as he's a good guy and I meant I couldn't picture him (or most other men there) literally chasing some poor girl round the office.
Now I'm worried that he took it as a come on.
We chatted the next day after that and it seemed fine. However he asked me to send some holiday pictures from my recent trip. I did a couple of days ago and he's still not opened the message. I saw that he's online but even 2 days later still not opened it.
It's not really like him and I'm worrying I've made him uncomfortable. Should I apologise? It could just all be in my head.

OP posts:
Duckduckduckgoose1 · 27/01/2024 18:31

Yeah I probably am, I find male friendships complicated as I say because I worry that things like compliments are seen as a come on. Maybe I should just focus more on female friends.

OP posts:
PeppermintMandy · 27/01/2024 18:39

The bigger issue here is you calling a guy sexually harassing some poor woman at work “an absolute character” known for his “antics” “a clown” and “oh what’s he like”???

Do you work in a Carry On movie? Mad Men? A time traveller from the 60s?

Duckduckduckgoose1 · 28/01/2024 21:15

Turns out he did take it as suggestive. Maybe because it was by msg... FFS :(

OP posts:
Logainm · 28/01/2024 21:35

Duckduckduckgoose1 · 28/01/2024 21:15

Turns out he did take it as suggestive. Maybe because it was by msg... FFS :(

He took you complimenting him on not sexually harassing you as some kind of invitation..?

heelander · 28/01/2024 21:35

How do you know? Did he respond or did you see him at work? Or did he confuse in somebody else?!

Duckduckduckgoose1 · 28/01/2024 21:36

Apparently so. I didn't mean not sexually harassing me, I was just implying he's a good/respectful guy in general.

OP posts:
heelander · 28/01/2024 21:36

confide

Notamum12345577 · 13/03/2024 17:23

Duckduckduckgoose1 · 28/01/2024 21:36

Apparently so. I didn't mean not sexually harassing me, I was just implying he's a good/respectful guy in general.

So what happened after that?

CrashyTime · 15/03/2024 22:16

GalileoHumpkins · 27/01/2024 17:00

Please don't make a joke about this 'character' of a colleague being inappropriate with women in the office. It's not funny and it shouldn't be encouraged.
Would you want him to be sleazy with you?

I"m willing to bet that this young "character" and the girl he was "chasing round the office" will be dating soon, if not already.

CrashyTime · 15/03/2024 22:21

maltesefiction · 27/01/2024 18:03

I find that most men are aqful at reading social cues but there is no need to apologize here.

I thought the OP was female?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page