Seeing too many infant deaths recently. Scared!!

[Expectingfirstbaby23]

everytime I open an app wether it be Facebook, Tiktok or Instagram, there’s always someone posting that their child died . All below one or just over one year old.
most people who post about it don’t disclose what happened , which ofcourse is their right to not share . But it’s when they get rude and say you’re the worst person ever for asking what happened ! I think if they post it all over social media you will get people asking what happened , it’s social media ! Now I’m not the one to comment what happened but il read comments in hope the cause of death is explained , which I think would be reassuring to parents if it’s a cause that can be avoided , why not share so other mums/dads can look for the symptoms etc . I’m currently looking at my precious 3 month old dd can’t even imagine being without her , so so scared of Sid’s or something happening , what is going on??

It’s social media. Take it with a gigantic pinch of salt.

If you are regularly viewing that content you will be fed more of it. It's hard when you have a little one and I was exactly the same as you when mine was a baby, so worried and spent a lot of time scared shitless of what could happen as it was all over my feeds. I ended muting certain content on tik tok.

I've not seen any posts like this on my feeds but that's how social media works, you view and engage with one post on one child death and it will throw more at you. I think if this is making you very anxious you need to step away from social media a bit. It absolutely fucks with your head especially when you're a walking hormone factory.

That's how social media algorithms work. If you engage with a post about an infant death, it will show you more. Click on nice positive things! I also follow the lullaby trust Instagram, which is useful for information about safe sleep.

I definitely agree . But it’s still not nice to see , I’m not sure if it’s cause I’m a mum myself now and couldn’t imagine losing her , I just think if they’re gonna post they should maybe post more for awareness in what to look for , obviously I know Sid’s there’s apparently not a cause , which is even scarier

people you know or strangers you're just getting shown the same theme because you're engaging with it? I've not come across any of this and use the same apps..
If your 3 month old is currently healthy and you're doing safe sleep practice, not smoking etc etc then don't worry about it, they will be fine!

A better way of looking at it is take a step back. How many people do you know who have had children in the last 20 years. Think about the statistics there.

Social media runs off algorithms. If you pause to watch one video it will start showing you 20 more as it thinks that’s what you want. I highly recommend searching some positive interests - dog videos, craft, fave bands, and reprogram the algorithm.

I've never seen anything like that so I assume its the algorithms offering you content you've engaged with before eg you watch a video about infant death, so it offers up another video on a similar theme and you end up seeing loads of them which makes it appear much more common than it actually is.

I’m sorry to say there are people who create this content to get reactions, and there’s never been an actual child involved at all.

What's going on is that the algorithms have decided that you are interested in content about infant loss and are now serving it up to you constantly. Put the internet down for a bit.

Get off social media, and don’t ask people why their baby died

It’s because you’re watching it so your algorithm is pushing it. Honestly everytime I’m pregnant I get stillbirth/late miscarriage videos and when I have a newborn I get sid’s/infant loss videos. I’m 25 weeks and my tiktok fyp is 50% miscarriage and stillbirth because I can’t help but watch it. Just scroll past quickly, don’t interact, interact with other nice videos instead and these videos will stop being pushed to your feed. I get it, it’s so scary

Yeah I definitely think it could be an algorithm issue . As I read comments on it
I actually stopped watching Tiktok because of it , even when trying to search for other things !
definitely going to take a step back , or try engage in different things .

Honestly, if a bereaved parent chooses to share photos of their child or whatever, it really isn't up to them to be making others feel better about their own child's death.

Sometimes we just want to talk about them, and their short lives, without having to go over their deaths to placate parents who still have their children.

If its upsetting you that much then take a step back from social media, or at least click nit interested when these things pop up.

Agree it sounds like the algorithms have decided this is what you spend time looking at, so have sent you more. This gives a very distorted picture.

I don’t ask . As I said , I read comments to see if anyone has disclosed a cause

What people? People you actually know in real life or are you watching those Facebook reels? Because once you watch one thing, the algorithm picks it up and keeps showing you more and more. Get off social media!

I agree that you need to retrain your algorithm. I watched one parrot video once and for the next week every bloody video was parrots. Swipe away quickly from child loss videos and stick a few likes on other things. Your algorithm will soon stop showing them.

Of course it is scary thinking about losing your baby, the best thing you can do for your baby is keep your mental health in check. Watching videos that scare you won't help you, it will just make you anxious.

Next time I see one il hit not interested in hopes no more comes up , I understand it must be awful for parents to go through and I get that it’s some peoples way of coping . I fully respect it , but as a new mother , it’s very scary to see and I always wanna be prepared and look out for things ! But I have ocd so I’m not sure if it’s because of that. X

I was very worried about this and was given good advice, which was that all you can do is follow the safe sleeping guidelines and then relax! If you do absolutely everything to promote safe sleep then that’s all you can do. In the rare event your child had an underlying health issue that was the cause then there would have been nothing anyone could do anyway so not worth worrying about. If you breast feed, don’t drink and smoke, don’t co sleep, don’t use cot bumpers or excess bedding, no toys or any thing else in the bed, put them to bed toes to the foot of the bed, don’t allow them to over heat, put them down in cot if you find yourself drifting off or sleepy especially if sat in an armchair. If you are worried you are going to fall asleep whilst feeding then get rid of all your pillows and blankets to minimise any risk. If you do all these things then what more can you do?

Your previous posts, together with this one, would suggest that you suffer from health anxiety.

So definitely a good idea to step away from social media - or at the very least, stop engaging with these kinds of posts.

Yeah it's because you keep watching them...I keep watching Kardashian stuff and cooking videos so that's what I get all the time now. I've never seen a video about children who have died though.

I formula feed , put her in a next to me drip feet down in her sleep sac , no toys / blankets or pillows in bed . Don’t smoke or anything . X

Infant mortality rate in the UK has been falling for decades:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/281501/infant-mortality-rate-in-the-united-kingdom/

Search for something else instead on social media! Like cute cats.

Correct , I suffer from it quite bad . It’s gotten worse since having my dd. About her more so than me now . It’s awful , still waiting on an appointment for therapy