To think the middle classes drink heavily?

[nannysecrets]

I've been a private nanny for over two decades for some highly educated, middle/upper class families. It's an observation of mine that a lot of them drink quite heavily. I'm talking about every night, a few bottles of wine and usually some G&T's between the parents.
I know this as I take in their grocery shopping so I see the contents. Often, when they get home from work a bottle is opened straight away and I'm offered a tipple. Sometimes I accept so I'm not bashing anyone!
I know some live in nannies who tell me the parents they work for are getting sloshed each night. I've had children tell me, 'mummy was throwing up in the night' and the mum will casually say to me 'oh you know sometimes it's better to just get it out'!
As I said, not a bashing thread. More of an observation. I believe there are quite a few middle class lushes who seem to go unnoticed as they work in high powered jobs as opposed to the average unemployed alcoholic who is more obvious due to their lifestyle.
No offence to anyone. Just an observation I thought about recently.

Do what? 🙄

Well the other nannies she is talking to wii know who she works/was working for. Which makes it gossiping about her employer, in my book.
And no, I don’t drink.

I joined a drinking society back in my uni days (well, I’m still a non-active member). There might be some truth to that based on my personal experiences, which are obviously purely anecdotal.

same shit, different shovel

I work with children and families in a Safeguarding role and I think I'm inclined to agree.

Awareness is definitely growing within my profession of "affluent neglect", in which alcohol almost always plays a part. A lot of middle class/high earning parents significantly increased their alcohol consumption during the covid lockdowns as a means of coping with the pressure of working from home whilst homeschooling kids and losing their usual outlets for managing stress. This probably would have been fine if it was only for a few weeks like many thought it would be at first, but the lockdowns went on so long that the increased level of drinking became habitual and many have carried on at the same rate since things returned to normal.

On the other hand, I have worked with many, many low-income parents who have had very serious problems with alcohol so it's certainly not the case that this is just a middle/upper class issue. The pressures that lead lower income parents to drink to excess are different to that of the families described above and IME low income families with alcohol issues will come to the attention of children's services sooner. This is partly because their limited resources mean that their addiction often comes at the expense of essentials like food, heating or school uniform whereas affluent families don't have to make those choices so can outwardly appear to be meeting their children's basic needs. But there is also an element of class stereotyping that, sadly, means middle class parents are still less likely to be challenged about safeguarding concerns.

It’s more nuanced than the OP suggests through if this data is reliable.

It does seem to be true that a higher proportion of middle class people drink than less affluent people but the deprived demographics are massively over represented among problematic drinkers.

Which tends to suggest that although MC people on average are more likely to drink, they are statistically less likely to be problematic drinkers.

Leaving aside the stereotype of professional people in leafy areas troughing wine and this anecdata about people throwing up in the night the evidence doesn’t quite fit this narrative.

Oooh 'affluent neglect' - tell us more! I need examples!

HELL YEAH WE DO! 🍷

@neverbeenskiing , that's spot on about consumption creeping up due to the lockdowns. I'm pretty sure that's when I started to drink beyond the recommended levels (though not as much as some of the examples on this thread). I think there should be more acknowledgement of this, rather than the suggestion that the middle classes are somehow less responsible by nature.

Cheers!

It's a British thing. Sadly.

Those memes and that attitude make me cringe a bit.

Middle class mums at softplay on a Sunday morning, making jokes about needing a gin and everybody laughs.

Personally, I no longer drink. I just wasn't getting any enjoyment out of it. Hangovers were awful. I don't even enjoy the taste, so just no point for me.

I did used to enjoy a drink though, back when I used to go out more, so no judgement at all on people who drink. Just not keen on the culture referenced above.

I mostly agree.

Lots of my friends drink like this. As we've got older lots of us have cut down and I know several families where there are designated nights each week when wine is allowed as other wise it has spilled into everynight.

This has to be a joke 🤣. No one is paying their nanny a wage if she is causing them stress!
The weirdest comment I've ever read!

@ScierraDoll I think you need to put the wine down darling.

I Just don’t get how people manage this, I’m quite envious because one drink and I’m done! I cant even drink during the week as I feel the effects the next day of even one drink! Must be genetics or something, people drink double what I do and more and are totally fine - not fair!

It’s like these people who can drink coffee before bedtime, and then sleep perfectly fine - just how! Ok breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️

Too many people drink too much. I judge the huge amount of empty wine bottles in the recycling tubs on bin day in my town.

Just curiously, why do you judge? Does it impact or bother you in any way?

It doesn't affect me. I can still think they're daft.

Yes, on the day you move classes you actually start drinking more heavily. It is a well known observation.

There is also quite a social stigma around drinking constantly at home amongst the working classes.
I was going to say this too - when I was growing up it was frowned upon to 'drink alone at home' and you would be asked 'are you ok?' - alcohol was seen as part of being social - going to the pub - it's a good way to feel part of your local community and hear local stories, there are people to carry you home and a landlord to say you've had enough and send you home.
Not having constant access to alcohol or alcohol in the house is good for you and helps you build self-restraint. We had just 2 bottles in the house and one was sherry 'only for emergencies'!
All this is being lost (I blame the supermarkets!) and people are becoming disconnected, greedy and selfish.

Of my 3 very good friends and I, one doesn't drink at all and her husband has an odd drink, one has a G and T about 3 x a year and is single, the other drinks 3 or 4 times a week, with her husband and is quite a drinker - will have 3 or 4 G and Ts and move onto wine, then there's me and DH- he has about 4 drinks a week, I don't mind a drink but can go months without one.
My cousin - works in the City in London- is a very heavy drinker but you can rarely tell, but he is a social drinker when out with clients, colleagues, never at home.

So I wouldn't say it's true of most highish earners.

Oh yeah, I’d agree.

I used to live in a VERY middle class area of London surrounded by professionals. They all drank all the time.

I now live on the edge of one of the roughest council estates in the West Midlands (thank you, poor life choices). It’s all parents smoking weed on the school run here. They have no shame.

I don’t drink or take drugs, but man, I miss the middle class, hungover parents. I didn’t have to dodge full on fights (parents, not kids), in my kids old middle class school.

Growing up, in a large working class family, none of them drank at home. But they all went to the pub at least twice a week. I never saw any of them very drunk.