To feel used in my godparent role

[Animatedapple]

I’ve got a friend to whose daughter I am a godparent. We don’t live near each other and as time has gone on I feel more and more like a useful cash machine than a real friend. I am godparent and so I’m happy to buy nice presents at birthdays and Christmas but recently my friend has only got in touch with me in the lead up to her daughter’s birthday or lead up to Christmas. I do try and stay in touch with her but of course a few months elapse. She has started to ask me for specific presents for her daughter - which feels very pushy. She says she can’t afford anything herself which makes my present all the more important. The thing is: she and her partner don’t work and haven’t for 20 years. They live off her inheritance and she owns several properties and a lot of furniture and belongings. I think she has got into a difficult situation but while I sympathise with this, as we can all make mistakes in how we live our life, I don’t like being made to feel like my role is to spend money on her child. She doesn’t send thank you notes or say anything after the birthday or Christmas.

Am I being unreasonable here?

I don't think I'd tell a friend they should get a job (unless they specifically asked my opinion about it) - it's not my place

next time she messages about a present, reply and say you already have your present for the daughter. Send her something like a book with an inscription from you so the mum can’t pass it off as her own. Do something like this each time so she gets the hint. She is a CF

Well. If you don’t want that to be your role then show up and take the kids to church!

that’s your role as of the church….

but yeah. Now god parents are usually the ones you get presents from.

Out of interest, how much are the gifts she’s asking you for? When my family ask what my son would like for birthday or Christmas, I choose something between £10 & £15, with the exception of my sister who has two kids and is significantly better off than me. From her, I usually request something around the £20 mark.