Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

I feel comments like this are extremely thick. First of all entitled, afterall at the end of the day it's a business not a charity. But I feel people must be so thick to think like this, because it is a business, so when people steal it gets passed back to the consumer - you and me. How people don't realise this is totally beyond me.

How do shops actually detain someone? Not a shoplifter but I set off the alarms when leaving TK Maxx before Christmas. Assistant came over I showed receipt, she had a rummage. (I’d spent £140 on two bags of toys, toiletries, make up, hairbrushes type stuff) so lots of small items. She said I’d need to go back to the till. I politely declined explained I had tickets to a show and was already running late and I’d pop back if there were tags that needed removing. Bright and breezy and off I went.

I was genuinely late at that point and the queue had taken ages the first time. No security guards that I could see just someone restocking.

what should you have done?
she attempted to steal, she got caught.

It happened to me, but I always have walked
back and pay! Once the shop assistant had to remind me, it's embarrassing, she must think I was shoplifting, so I know it's totally possible that was unintentional.

@FuckinghellthatsUnbelievable Security staff detain them. They then take them back to the security office or similar & wait with them

With security guards

i suspect she was a regular and the staff were very aware of her

There’s a false belief that you have to have left the shop with the item for any shoplifting to have occurred. But actually if the police believe there’s intent to steal they can arrest for shoplifting……so my friend who’s a police officer of over 20 years tells me. And she says that secreting stuff in a bag would be enough.

So I would agree he didn’t slander her. Firstly he never actually outright accused her of shoplifting. He correctly said she had crisps in her bag and then made sarcastic remarks insinuating but not actually saying that her story about them falling In was unlikely. Secondly what she did would meet the criteria for shoplifting even without leaving the store.

Maybe it was about a man enjoying his peer over a woman, but at the end of the day I and many others on here have done a stint in retail or still work in retail and shoplifters can be and are absolutely ruthless.

They can be your typical teenager acting all hard and being quite brazen, they can be incredibly wel dressed and well mannered folk. That’s the point. I worked in a nation wide chemist and remember the doors getting locked and a security guard having to step in front of a very well dressed woman and confronting her over the theft of make up, who also denied and laughed and said what an awful thing to say, then turned on the tears and it turned out the guard was right, she had been stuffing expensive mascaras, lip glosses etc up her sleeves and slipping into her coat. Good old days when police actually came out and in good time.

A bag of crisps may “only be 60p” and she may be well dressed and a “woman being humiliated by a power hungry male”, but don’t be naive. I remember having the faces of well known shoplifters displayed in work corridors and in tills.

The more stock shops lose, the more prices go up for all of us. All those bags of crisps add up.

Oh she was humiliated by the nasty man? Boo fucking hoo. She shouldn’t have been stealing. Or intending to steal. When I worked at a supermarket we weren’t allowed to confront thieves if it would put us at risk of harm so lots of people got away with it. Prices go up to cover the losses so we all pay more. The woman now knows she’s being watched in that coffee shop so it might be a deterrent.

it’s good you kept your beak out. I’d have given the man a pat on the back.

Are you ok with people shoplifting? He obviously saw her put the crisps in her bag, so assumed it was most likely that she wasn’t intending to pay for them. His actions prevented her from being stopped by security the second she left the store and possibly having the police being called. He’s done her a favour.

I worked in retail for many years and loads of people that some of the public think 'they're not a thief', actually are.

Some do it due to the thrill, some to sell on etc. When people on MN complain that they are followed around their local ASDA by security, it is because they have a buggy. That is a thief's paradise. Plenty of places to squirrel items away and they blame it on DC having grabbed something if caught.

In 50 years of shopping I've never put an item in my bag to carry round a shop or cafe before paying.

There are trolleys, baskets and more often than not...the arms full 'Crackerjack method'.

In a small shop or cafe that isn't busy, I occasionally ask to leave a item at the till, ready to pay all together when I've finished browsing.

This woman was clearly up to something and the member of staff knew it.

Thieves deserve to be humiliated!
Her story didn’t add up, so she clearly had pocketed those crisps and knew exactly what she was doing.
The rest of us aren’t allowed to walk into supermarkets and take things, so why should she be?

Maybe it’s a little reminder for her that staff do watch what goes on in supermarkets.

But the staff doesn't have x-ray vision.

If he knew the chips were in her bag, he must have seen the way they went in: her sneaking them in on purpose, or falling in by accident.

Some of the most unlikely people shoplift. Sweet old ladies are some of the best because people don't suspect them.

I doubt this woman was shoplifting from the supermarket as a protest against profiteering, she would have no qualms about doing the same to a small business.

It obviously shocked you slightly, but not sure why you're still worrying about this OP. Would you have worried as much if the woman caught out was less smartly dressed (ok, say it out loud.....less 'middle class' in appearance)?

Oh right, so let's all just steal from supermarkets shall we? I'm sure there will be no repercussions from that.

There are many professional shoplifters in action, but let's not humiliate any of them shall we, just turn a blind eye.

You are - to use your terminology - a dick.

But she first said ‘what crisps- I don’t have crisps’ and claimed they’d fallen into her bag without her knowledge, but then said they were for her kids snack- so this contradicts what she said first. If she’d genuinely knocked them by mistake and they’d fallen into her bag, she’d have insisted a bit more first that she didn’t actually want them- but her rush to apologise and pay suggests she knew full well she’d been caught out. He will have seen her put them in her bag OP. My in-laws have a shop and shoplifting is a massive issue for them. I’ve honestly no sympathy and a little embarrassment is the least she should expect.

👏you said it better than i did.

I don’t think you understand what passively means OP.

She took a chance, she lost out, this is very minimal in terms of consequences.

Some people do get adrenaline head rush at Shop lifting
the idea of getting away with something that other people have to pay for,

Yes rich people do this,

Rember Wynna Rhydor Actress from Beatle Juice film shoplifting spree at famous Tiffany's store in New York ec?

😂😂😂

you really think the police and CPS would have prosecuted someone over a bag of crisps.

Great use of public money. They wouldn’t even have come down to the shop over this!

60p?

When did you last buy crisps?

He let her know he was onto her. Probably saw her pilfer them on the cctv. Better to do it there and then than wait until she’d actually committed the crime. What was he supposed to do?!