Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

I work in a well known supermarket and we check shopping bags at the till. You'd be amazed how many things "fall " into the customers bags without them knowing. Doesn't matter what it is..... steak or chewing gum..... it's still stealing. No sympathy!

What a weird thread. Someone was caught shoplifting and made for their goods. What exactly do you think you should have done? Why would you do anything?

Things falling in your bag can happen - I found a pain au chocolat once - I can assure you I did not put that in! I wasn’t even with a small child who may done so. My bag is gross so it went straight in the bin (shame as it looked quite an expensive one).
I’ve walked out with loo rolls still attached to the trolley once that was my fault. When I went back the security guard told me it was a common item people return to store as they often forget to pay as it is hooked on the front of their trolley !

She cleared up whether she intentionally stole or not when at the end she changed her story from "I don't know what you're talking about" to "I wanted them for x"

Wanting them for her starving child probably will just one more step towards the worse sounding truth.

He was fine to do it. Good on him. If people had kept generally doing this sort of thing like they used to, from the street to the workplace, rather than tolerating scum and selfish wankers so much, we would all live in a much better society.

She was stealing crisps.
He should’ve minded his business.

Are you kidding me? She was stealing. And why are you trying to give her a pass because she’s a mother and wealthy? No wonder people talk about white middle class women the way they do.,

I think it's very nice that the fact this experience has stayed with you shows your kind character.
I think it's best to give the benefit of the dough. The way that undercover staff went about it was rude and unkind. Reminds me of the 'cops' who assume all women who say they were molested are liars. He should have been more tactful. She may well be a well dressed affluent seriel petty theft and this encounter might have scared her, or the lady may just be a flustered person getting through a day but it's not for onlookers to decide.
I've taken flowers. Cooked chicken. Bags if herbs unintentionally. I once paid twice for shopping having gone to the cafe agter checkout, only to go back and pay again. Ive also left phone in stores numerous times.

I think for relevant viewing to erring on side of truth and even thinking they are guilty but not showing them you think this:
Netflix American Nightmare

Where a lady had no chance of being considered due to the confirmation bias of the fuddy daddy police detective.

Why is stealing crisps OK? Plus, it was his business. He worked there.

An ex friend of mine used to always try and smuggle things out of the supermarket. Very well off she just saw it as some sort of game how much she could hide under the trolley

It has to be over 100 quid nicked to get any criminal prosecution running...unless she has previous s..also supermarket know its not worth time for pkt crisps.
He was a dick imho...why not take her to one side and have a word... bullying jobs worth.

To put people off stealing there needs to be consequences. Given that she didn't get any kind of fine or other punishment as a result of her obvious attempted theft - to humiliate her in public may hopefully be an effective deterrant.

If you do nothing as punishment do not expect people to modify their behaviour. It's not rocket science.

I do think these scan and pay supermarkets like tesco set up the temptation to..just try it.

Lots of people immediately assuming the woman was stealing. I remember when my kids were young getting as far as the door of a shop before suddenly realising, I (genuinely) absentmindedly had something in my hand that I hadn’t paid for. It really alarmed me because, two more steps and I could have been ‘caught’ for shoplifting. I wasn’t stealing, I was in a knackered daze!

Agree with the principle obviously you do something wrong you should be punished

However she hadn’t stolen anything she was inside the shop…..inside!
His actions were disgraceful and if I were you OP I would complain about his behaviour

If he wants to catch a thief he needs to catch them once they are actually guilty so outside …or was it too cold for him to bother.

I'm more shocked by the casual attitude to shoplifting people have nowadays

Things really can fall into your bag! I once returned from a trip abroad to find that I had some lovely key rings in my bag that I had looked at, but couldn't recall paying for and then I realised that they had somehow fallen into my bag from Duty Free. I was mortified, but there was nothing I could do as I was on the other side of the world.

Packet of crisps, insurance fraud etc is done by all sorts OP.
My ex boss claimed twice on insurance for things that were made up.

Posh and living in a 4million pound house. Sticky fingers has no class.

Moro93 qstop trying to justify blatant theft. It doesn't matter whether its a man or woman a little public shaming might make them think twice next time. Would you say the same if it had been a female staff member?.

To be fair, I've accidentally shoplifted before. My dad watched me do it. Told me in the car once we were leaving the shop. Found my anxiety over what would happen amusing and happily wears the spoils of war.
We were on holiday in the US, in a Walmart. He stopped to look at sunglasses for himself. I had a mind fart, saw them in the cart (he was going to buy them for himself) and helpfully picked them up and put them in my bag so he didn't forget them. I thought they were his, even though he had a pair on his forehead. I was trying to be helpful.
He found the whole thing funny and loves his stolen sunglasses.
We aren't a criminal family normally, I promise. And yes I was an adult at the time, so was appropriately mortified without need of any parental telling off.

Oh yeah, missed that bit.
In that case, I edit to:

She was stealing crisps. (I didn’t say it was ok, but it’s hardly murder!)
He should have told her in a less passive aggressive and snarky manner.

Sounds reasonable. She wasn’t pulled over by security. Sounds like she does this a lot and they wanted to catch her. Of course she knew what she was doing.

I accidentally shoplifted once. I put some things under the buggy when I was walking round other stuff on baby and in basket. I forgot the stuff underneath when I was paying.

I remember years ago I had my toddler and my baby with me shopping. I put nappies on my pram handle, paid for the rest of the shopping. I walked to go out of the shop and realised I hadnt paid for the nappies. I went back to the till and was told that the last was waiting till I left the store to tell security. I told her I apologise and paid and said I wasn't going to go far with two children. I was so embarrassed

She was clearly upset & flustered for being caught out, I wouldn't give it another thought.