Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

I know! all those nasty rude unprofessional people working in shops who see a fair bit of real life every day and are abusing the people who pay their low wages, tut tut, call in the legal firm, embarrassed-4-u, sue4sarcasm.com, redfacesRus all recommended 😂

There are holes in this story the size of Kansas.

Nah shoplifters boil my piss. Especially when they line themselves up with you at the exit to supermarkets so when the alarm goes off you end up stopping while they're off 😡

I don’t see any.

She was stealing. Items do not fall into your bag. Shop lifting is destroying businesses big and small. She deserved to be called out for it. She was only embarrassed she got caught.

I wonder what food she could have bought for her mythical starving children if she hadn’t treated herself to coffee shop treats?

She could have tackled the man to the floor and shouted “ Run for it Thelma, start the car, we’ll head for the canyon”

He shouldn't have embarrassed her in front of her children and other customers. Sounds like a jobsworth

Sounds like a good tactic to deter the sticky -fingered to me.

I think some find it hard to believe people can be middle class mothers and still tempted by the five-finger discount.

So what do you think he should have done? Genuine question.

Are you arguing that shops should just turn a blind eye to all shoplifting?

Or only to shoplifting which concerns minor, low-cost items?

Or only to shoplifters who are accompanied by their children?

Or only when there are other customers around because it's too embarrassing?

I am really curious to know what you think the shops should do in these situations.

Are you happy as a consumer to pay higher prices to cover the cost of what other people steal? Or are you one of the people stealing so you don't really care?!

Surely the embarrassment, if indeed there was any, was brought on herself by attempting to steal, not by someone calling her out on it. That’s the risk you take surely? Don’t want to be caught / embarrassed, don’t steal! If there weren’t any consequences, how on earth would theft be stopped?

If they were on a jury, they’d hear testimony from both sides and have a chance to weigh their credibility. Don’t you think they would take it more seriously if they were actually in a position to convict a woman, as opposed to chatting about an unknown stranger on Mumsnet?

The fact is, that you don’t actually know for certain if there was an attempted theft, or if the lady was just a scattered mum. There’s no way for you to know. On that basis alone, it may not have been wise for you to intervene and as such, cut yourself some slack.

The man / staff member should have handled the situation with more professionalism and discretion. What if the lady had mental health issues? We don’t know….

The poster was t referring to the woman in the coffee shop, she said starving children was no excuse for stealing

She’s obviously a known shoplifter

So,would you have felt bad for not intervening if she were being arrested or otherwise detained for theft?

She was stealing OP. It isn't just ruffians that steal you know. I think it's actually very common for people to just steal the odd thing here and there, they feel like they're getting a bargain and it's addictive as once they realise how easy it is, they do it again and again. She was clearly too blasé this time and got caught. Good on him!

Err where did op say she had a child with her?

I dont think security staff are going to be randomly joining the cafe queue to see if people are stealing though. Either she's raised suspicion before so is on their radar and he watched her to see if she d steal or he was passing/saw it on cameras as she put the crisps into her bag and acted on it, joining the queue to see would she pay.
I dont have any issue with her being called out, her being upset doesn't prove shoplifting either way, most shoplifters are upset when caught, but I don't think he needed to go on and on about it

We've all paid £100s more this year for food this year for no reason, it wasn't worth humiliating a woman for

we've all paid £100s more this year for food this year to cover the cost of those who choose to shoplift.

Suppose it depends on area. There was a woman near me at court for allegedly stealing a sandwich, bag of crisps and I think a fruit pot...the 20p bag was on the list of stolen items!

From self service checkout hence the stolen bag.

The staff member was not being a jobsworth. A jobsworth is someone who sticks rigidly to petty rules for the sake of it. "Pay for items instead of stealing them" is not a petty, pointless rule - it's as basic as it gets! Yes, it was only a packet of crisps, but all the items that are stolen from shops over the course of a year add up to a loss. It's not as though he called the police on her. He asked her to pay for them, then (rightly) called out the ridiculousness of her "it fell in my bag" excuse (which shoplifters use all the time).

I can't believe people think the staff member was in the wrong. The woman did something stupid, got caught, and was embarrassed. Hopefully she's learned her lesson and won't do it again.

If word gets around that a shop is an easy target then shoplifters will have a field day . Prevention is better than loss .

The police wouldn't turn up for a bag of crisps. It's difficult to get them out for serious thefts. Shop keepers (especially the smaller ones) have a really hard time with dealing with theives.