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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’m being used in this friendship?

54 replies

WDIDAT · 25/01/2024 20:35

In August I met my friend’s (who I’ve known for 20 years) partner for the first time and since then we’ve been meeting up approximately once a month all together.

The first few times in August to October we mostly met up in a local park for a walk and chat but since December they’ve been wanting to travel further for days out but then the partner revealed that he hasn’t got a full license and would like me to supervise them on the days out so the driving is legal.

They have been asking for favours approximately once per week or two weeks like asking to borrow money or asking me to supervise them driving for errands. This week I was flabbergasted by a message asking me to hire them a van so I can take their rubbish to the tip and pick up some furniture and they’d gradually pay me back! I ignored the message as I didn’t know what to put. It’s very draining and I feel like I don’t know what they’re going to ask for next.

I’ve been googling “am I being used” and they do ask for constant favours but I am unsure whether I’m being used because they are very pleasant and I offered petrol money which they refused. I’ve wondered “If he passes his test would I see them for dust?” I don’t know! “Were the initial meet ups to butter me up?” I don’t know!

I’m finding it really hard to work out whether they are real friends or not. Do they like me for me or what I can offer? Or maybe a bit of both?

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 26/01/2024 01:41

“Well actually, I was going to ask for help with *cleaning the windows/Mowing the lawn/Weaving some lentils/sending £££ so I can buy a designer hamster.

Scarletttulips · 26/01/2024 06:19

Sorry I don’t have the time or funds for this. Hope you find someone to help.

Tell them you’re on a fitness drive so it’s a walk or nothing

gamerchick · 27/01/2024 19:10

The way to get rid of parasites is to start asking them for money. You won't hear from them again.

OriginalUsername2 · 27/01/2024 19:14

Cheeky fuckers! I’d be fuming at another adult placing a bunch of tasks on my lap like that.

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