To go on holiday with ex or cut my losses? WWYD

[Closingthedoors]

I was due to go Amsterdam next weekend for my birthday with DH and BIL. However we have separated and are living apart. Obviously it’s my birthday so I’m still very eager to go.

BIL said it’s to awkward now if I go and he would need paying back.

Me and DH have no bad blood and the separation was the best thing for us.

WWYD?

you obviously really want to go and it is your birthday. Couldn’t you ask them to take someone in your place and refund you the money which you then put towards going another time with friends? If you left husband there’s an awful lot of ways he and BIL could make you feel miserable over there and it could be a lot worse than sitting at home. You could do your own thing when there but BIL seems to think you going puts a damper on their weekend and that doesn’t sound like you are ready to all be friends. Add drinking into the mix and it could make for a terrible time.

Me and DH get on really well considering the circumstances so I’m not really arsed if BIL comes or not.

BIL is pulling a hissy fit and refusing to go if I go.

I appreciate it’s not an ideal situation and he’s going to loose out on money now. But if me and DH are happy to go away together why on earth should he feel awkward.

If you paid your own way and ex doesn't care, it's not for bil to veto. What is the arrangement with rooms and splitting the cost? Sounds like BIL is hoping it'll now be a lads holiday and you being there could spoil that for him 😂

Could you find a couple of girlfriends to take their places?

I really dont think that either you are exDH should back down. Sounds like he is a bit too used to throwing a tantrum to get his own way, maybe time for a life lesson.

Enjoy your trip!

Everyone pays their share and everyone decides whether or not they want to go.

Tell BIL you're not paying him a penny

You don't have to hang out together. If you can change your hotel to a different one/cancel one room, I might do that. Your ex and BIL can share a room now.

If you want to go, go. I'd definitely be booking a separate room if not a separate hotel. Do your own thing. Amsterdam is a big place and loads to do. You can get assigned separate seats in the flight so you'll barely need to see each other

That’s not no bad blood.

@Closingthedoors Curious to know why you keep referring to him as DH when you have split up and you have left him.

If you planned it all they should be the ones to not go? Wth is wrong with BIL? Especially if you’re happy to still go but stay in a different hotel. He’s being ridiculous, especially expecting you to give him money? From what I can tell he hasn’t paid for anything in regards to your flights etc?