Is this a red flag?

[99balloonsthatarered]

Boyfriend of 18 months. 27 years old. He’s never been a huge social media user or poster, but at the beginning of the relationship he did used to go on instagram. He’d like my stuff and send me memes etc.
When he came to visit me he rarely went on his phone, he said he wanted to make the most of the time with me. Then without me he’d sometimes go on it. Fair enough. He used to post the odd picture of us if it was on holiday or something.

We moved in together 4 months ago and now he literally never ever uses it or even clicks on it. He said he doesn’t care about it anymore. He doesn’t post, send anything or ever go on it. But he hasn’t deleted it.

Is this weird? I asked him about it and he said “why do I need a reason”

You know you are being weird, don't you.

Why does he need to delete it ? Is it causing harm ?

It’s strange though. He’s never been a poster but I know he used to scroll a lot. I used to see him like half naked pictures of girls (when single - he was an acquaintance before). Now he never even clicks on it, only when I have moved in

Eh?

The opposite of a red flag. He's into spending time with you, not pointless posting on social media.

So you're annoyed he's no longer looking at women on Instagram?

So before you were there, he would look at pictures of women.

Now that you are living with him and he isn't, somehow you think this is a bad thing? Maybe, just maybe, because he has you, he doesn't need to look at photos any more? You say he's rarely used it.

I rarely use insta. I rarely use tiktok. I still have both apps.

You are being absolutely batshit here.

When I'm depressed I don't go on sm

I really can’t understand your thought process here. It’s the opposite of a red flag.

It sounds like he likes you and is happy being with you so he doesn’t need to do those things now. Would you rather he was sat pointlessly scrolling and looking at pictures of other women?

my DH has social media apps but I can count on one hand how many times a year he’s on them…he just does other stuff and isn’t really into it. ..really no big deal.

How is it we live in a world where not social media is classed as weird. People give it up all the time for many reasons and maybe you should take a leaf out of his book.

My 26 year old son, aside from occasionally looking at X, he has never posted himself, doesn't use social media at all. Never has. He calls it "fake life." I guess I'd better tell him what a weirdo he is.

This is essentially a green flag. 😂

If you can’t relax and trust him, if you’re snooping into his past instagram views, grilling him etc then I’m afraid the Red flags are coming from you 😳

That would be a green flag for me!

It sounds like he only went on it when he was bored (but still not much) and now he’s not bored.

I have no SM and don’t death scroll through my phone endlessly, apart from being on MN.

Do you think he needs to be on Instagram to be a normal, valid person? So what if he's not interested?

SM junkies would be a red flag to me.

You're a red flag!

The red flag is you thinking that it's a red flag

Your boyfriend is not the weird one in this relationship.

You need your head shaking

I'm not sure how bad the current version of Instagram is, but in the past Instagram - like X and Facebook - made it very difficult to view/read the site without logging in. Even following a link from an outside source, you get nagged - and at one point actually forced - to log in. The sites do this intentionally to up their numbers, and plenty of people make accounts on those types of sites and never otherwise interact. It's a slight hassle to make an account in the first place but once you had, why would you delete it?

The part about liking "pictures of half naked girls" is the only part that alarmed me, but if he's no longer doing it then perhaps he's recently figured out how the kiddie porn laws work? So that's probably an improvement over how he was when you met him.

Omg that's a green flag

Can you articulate what exactly is worrying you? "My boyfriend is not interested in social media" doesn't really seem to be a problem.

Is it the fact that he isn't on there gushing about you every five minutes the real issue?

Are you a big user of social media? Could it be that it just seems odd to you because you’re using it so much? Maybe it’s your use of social media that is a red flag?