Is this a red flag?

[99balloonsthatarered]

Boyfriend of 18 months. 27 years old. He’s never been a huge social media user or poster, but at the beginning of the relationship he did used to go on instagram. He’d like my stuff and send me memes etc.
When he came to visit me he rarely went on his phone, he said he wanted to make the most of the time with me. Then without me he’d sometimes go on it. Fair enough. He used to post the odd picture of us if it was on holiday or something.

We moved in together 4 months ago and now he literally never ever uses it or even clicks on it. He said he doesn’t care about it anymore. He doesn’t post, send anything or ever go on it. But he hasn’t deleted it.

Is this weird? I asked him about it and he said “why do I need a reason”

You've gotta post this on DadsNet... lol

This will be flagged as one of those "women can find fault with anything" sorts of posts :)

"I thought I did the right thing, and I'm still getting moaned at!!!"

I think you're the one with a red flag!
My 25yr old and 23yr old DC are never on SM but still have their accounts open.

Sounds brilliant to me!! Are you concerned that by him not using it just highlights how much you use it?

You're the red flag, not your boyfriend.

Can you expand on your line of thought op?

From what you’ve said, it sounds as though he essentially used instagram as a hook up site- commenting on attractive looking girls. That’s how he bagged you; by initiating conversation on there.

Now he has a girlfriend, he sees no purpose for using it. I guess you’re now wondering why he hasn’t deleted it? Is he keeping it in case he wants to put himself back on the market?

The only other reason I can see for your thinking is if you’re assuming he’s ashamed of you because he doesn’t publicise your relationship on Instagram?
Bear in mind, he never used instagram for the purpose of showcasing his life/ seeking validation from others.

I do think your anxiety over this is coming from your own insecurities.
He shouldn’t have to justify every detail if his life to you. You also need to respect his privacy and put some trust in him- he’s not your possession.

Nothing in his behaviour is a warning sign of anything untoward!

I think this might only be weird if you are a young teenager. There is an expectation (around age 12) that you must use social media otherwise you get labelled uncool. “Everyone else uses it!!” etc. One reason my Ed is my ex is that he never stopped scrolling. Never even looked up from his phone.
I see couples out for dinner both independently scrolling and it just seems crazy. Why would you prefer this? Is it so that you can’t be on social media in front of him if he isn’t on it too?