Holiday

[adonk]

So my boyfriend has asked me how I would feel, if he went on holiday with his ex and their child… so they could both be there for the child’s first holiday. Am I wrong to think absolutely not! Or am I overreacting? Anyone been in this situation?

@KrisAkabusi there's levels and levels isn't there? For example (and obviously not an exhaustive list!):

• school nativity plays together = okay
• sports matches where kid is playing = okay
• parents evenings at school together= okay

• week in Bahamas where it's just fella, ex wife and kid... well, that's quite intimate and not really appropriate for two adults who have separated irrespective of whether or not they have kids in common.

How would your partner feel if it were the other way around? Would she suggest this if she had a partner?

Part of separating when dc is involved is coming to terms with the fact that you won't be sharing all the '1st's', I think he is bonkers for even contemplating it.

If he does go, I would certainly be booking a girly holiday away whilst they are away. But if it were me and he went , that would be the end of our relationship.

Nope, a no from me. Their child has no experience of holidays together, why on earth would you start it after all this time?

As pp said, you miss ‘firsts’ when you’re split up, that’s just how it is.

Also very confusion for the DC.

Absolutely no way. If they are not together in daily life why do they need to be there for a holiday.

Indeed. Making this a big deal when it's NOT the child's "first holiday" is the suspicious bit for me.

Yeah he wants to go and doesn’t understand why I don’t think he should

Really? Is he thick?

I would be interested to know which one of them suggested they do this together.
If it was the ex I would suspect she has a motive

He's happy to go away with a woman that is passive aggressive about you on his socials..? (irrespective of the fact that he's obviously quite emotionally unintelligent to think this is a good idea, and shit on you...)

He must be amazing in other departments @adonk as you're not really selling him as a prime catch here!

Yeah……. No. He doesn’t need to go. That’s it.

Ugh I hate this ‘you’ll lose him’ shit. As if someone who’d disrespect their partner in such a way is anything to lose.

OP, if you think there could be even a slight possibility that he’d act inappropriately with the ex on this holiday then you need to bin him off anyway.

He wants to go because he knows what he happen while they are there. Poor kid will end up very confused.

It's his EX.

If he wanted to get back with her he would have.

Either your trust your partner or you don't.

I think the holiday is a lovely idea. It's good the two of them can put their child first. Obviously they'd book accommodation with two rooms then one of them would share with the 6 year old.

@adonk how would he react if this was you wanting to go on holiday with an ex boyfriend and father of your child ?

I would be mentioning to him about her posting negative crap on social media about you. First thing he should be doing is sorting her attitude towards you out

If the ex's motives aren't to get back together with op's partner or to sabotage their relationship then it could be so she can get a free/subsidised holiday.

Yeah he wants to go and doesn’t understand why I don’t think he should

Then there was no point in asking you how you feel about it if he wont even entertain your opinion.

There's a difference between a romantic relationship and a parenting relationship.

Apart from anything else, it's going to be very confusing for their 6 yr old DC who will naturally assume Mummy and Daddy are getting back together.