Kids at wedding regret

[Eva90]

I guess this is more of a rant as I don't think I can do much about it now. But essentially my fiancé and I invited a few of our cousins kids to our wedding as we see them a lot, but only really wanted to the older kids to come (age 15, 9 and 6) but as they have younger siblings (babies) we felt like we couldn't invite one and not the other. Since then, 3 our cousins are due to have babies 2 months before the wedding so it will now be all of the original kids plus the x2 3 year olds PLUS the x3 newborns. Ahhh

I honestly didn't think they would want to bring their 2 year olds when we sent out invites but they do. Obviously I understand that the new borns will have to come and that's fine

Will the 2 year olds need their own seats at the ceremony?

If you are fine with the newborns coming then what’s changed? You invited the toddlers…

What made you think they’d want to go to a family event and leave out some of their family? It’s often much easier to take a 2yo with you to a wedding than to find all day childcare with someone you trust.

I would give a 2 year old their own seat and assume they’ll be in it some of the time and on a parents lap the rest of it.

Ideally the two year olds should have their own seat yes. A sage lesson - never send an invitation out that you don’t want to be accepted.

As you've invited these children to your wedding as guests, it's usual to give them a seat to sit in. Are they 2 or 3? You've said both.

A 2yr old will need their own seat with a booster or a high chair. I wouldn’t want to bring our 2yr old to a wedding, luckily my brother was kind enough to drive 3hrs and babysit. Most 2yr olds go to bed between 1830-2000, which is when most weddings get started!

Congratulation on your upcoming wedding! You'll have a fantastic day regardless of how many children there are. If you are slightly worried about the potential for disturbance during the ceremony just be upfront about this with the parents. I don't know any parent who wouldn't understand that a screaming baby or toddler tantrum during the vows wouldn't be upsetting for the bride and groom, and a quick exit might be required until settled. After the ceremony it's normally just a big celebration anyway! If you are worried about space, toddlers and babies can be on laps, in prams etc if space is limited. Just enjoy your special day.

I agree with this Why would they leave one of their children behind if they were invited.
And yes they should have a seat or highchair to eat they probably won't use it all the time though. Most wedding venues should be able to accommodate small children

I'd love to see my cousins kids- they're part of my family and I love them!
( but I'm not paying for their food I guess)

Your mistake was inviting the children and hoping they just wouldn't come. Unfortunately, nothing you can do about it now.

If you were fine with babies, I just would've said ''babes in arms'' on the invite but like you said, too late now.

I was talking about a seat for the ceremony (which is 20 mins) not for dinner. Of course they will have a seat for the meal

Thanks so much!

Don’t forget babies count for numbers at the venue, even if they’re in prams or carried .

Those with newborns may not be able to come due to recovery or sleep deprivation. Might help with the numbers!

You’re only talking about two 3yos? Yes, provide a seat. There’s a chance the early arrivals will seat their child and someone else will miss out. I must admit I believe that children no matter what age should be at a family celebration

Try not to worry op, I had loads of kids at my wedding and it was wonderful! You hear so many horror stories on here but in my experience it's lovely to have little ones around, if they are only two and you're short on space tell the parents that they'll need to pop them on their knee during the ceremony

Their parents are the best people to ask.

But most likely yes.

If you're a bit short of space for the ceremony I'd have a chat with the cousins and ask if they could please have toddlers on laps for that bit. A twenty minute ceremony shouldn't be a problem, and there's a high chance that if you provided seats they'd end up on laps anyway. They'll need seats for the meal, but you seem to have that in hand.

The ceremony is 20 mins? You could pay the 15yr old to look after them in a separate room?
Depends on the 15yr old and the set up.

I really never understood people's obsession with no kids at weddings.

I really never understood people's obsession with no kids at weddings

Me neither but it seems to be a thing now.

We have a long distance family wedding coming up which I'm really looking forward to, but its no kids (surprise surprise) .

Our plan is to bring DGS along on the trip (there is no one else to look after him) and one of us has delcined the ceremony/reception invite to entertain him at a local attraction. I have declined the evening invite as I am happy to take over for the evening. B&G have got wind of this and are not happy. Even though we are folowing the rules and DGS will not be anywhere near the venue. Apparently it makes them 'look bad'.

Sometimes I despair

Nope didn't provide any seats as it's up to the parents to figure. Ours was fine they all sat on parents or grandparents knees...just been to brothers wedding and same our toddlers sat on our knees and my parents ones lol. Everybody else was doing the same

I should add well done you OP for inviting the kids and try not to worry it will be fine. I hope you have a lovely wedding day, Congratulations !

Would there be room for a small table with some colouring/duplo/stickers at the back of the ceremony venue? Keeps the children occupied, and would free up their seats (plus the seat of a supervising adult or two). Even just cushions on the floor with some sticker books, if the venue allows that?

Of course they are bringing their toddlers, they are family too

My friend's sister had a great set up there was a room just outside the ceremony room across a lobby, for children 'struggling with the ceremony or for those who just wanted to do something more fun' some basic toys, colouring etc nothing noisy. A friend's partner graciously offered to man it as she didn't know the bridge and groom well, her partner did, but a couple with babies excused themselves during the ceremony of babies for fidgety and they knew exactly where to go, active with a young child was sat on an end seat with easy access to a door. It was perfect, children welcome but can stay next door if you prefer, also a quick getaway space sparing any awkwardness for anyone whose child couldn't get through the ceremony.

It isn't an obsession, it's just personal preference as it is with many decisions a couple makes when deciding on their wedding and how they want it to be.