AIBU to think these nursery illnesses are taking the piss?

[Tangletweaser]

DD (nearly 1) started nursery 3 months ago. I knew and expected illnesses, I didn’t however expect so much and so many serious illnesses - she is my first so I wanted to know whether this is ‘normal’ and I’m being precious or whether this is a lot.

Illnesses so far
5 x colds
1 x glandular fever (which I am still suffering with!)
4 x D&V bugs
1x RSV (which was serious, required hospital treatment and DD was on a feeding tube for 3 days!)
2 x HF&M
1 x tonsillitis
1 x COVID (was tested)
1 x scarlet fever
1 x ringworm

she hasn’t had one full week (and she only does a 3 day week, was only 2 days the first month as well) since she started. Most of these illnesses DH and I then get, which is causing a lot of issues work wise as well (I have not had a full week back from mat leave since coming back too) for both of us.

AIBU to think this is a lot?

would putting her with a childminder make it less likely she’d get ill? Or would it not make a difference 😩

@SJM1988 yeah I assumed the 6 baby classes a week since she was 3 weeks would help but obviously not!

roll on Easter

From one of the nursery workers who she maybe did the same thing to? Most of them are very young, IME.

My LO was also really sick when he started nursery, for the first year I think he only had a handful of "full" weeks, but only went Mondays and Fridays.

Eventually the doctor told me to keep him off for a few extra weeks to give his immune system time to catch up so I did and when he went back he was fine and just catches the odd bug now but no more than any other kid I would have thought.

Your LOs immune system has really had a shock to the system with all these bugs, and she probably needs to recuperate longer too.

It's definitely worth speaking to your GP about too.

I don’t think that’s normal for a 3 month period. I would contact your GP to get this checked but also question the nursery’s cleaning standards and maybe consider moving her to a childminder if you can find a place.

My son went to childminder at 11 months and got RSV after a few coughs and potentially one sickness bug for a night, but that’s it. And that over more than 3 months. He’s been at nursery since 2 and a half and in 9 months he’s been sent home once for a fever and caught a sickness bug once.

I do have to wonder if it’s also related to how young they are. My boss’ DC went to nursery at 6 months and she was never at work because of how ill he was all the time.

That's a lot. They're things that are caught from other people, probably as a result of other children being taken to nursery when they're ill.
You wouldn't walk up to a child and slap them so hard they end up in hospital, but some parents don't see anything wrong with bringing their child in despite them having an illness that could be passed on to another child which leads to them ending up in hospital. We've had babies who were "fine" only to be told by their older sibling that they've thrown up everywhere just before nursery. We once had a baby who 'definitely hadn't had Calpol', but during their first nappy change we found a used syringe with remains of the stuff in their vest.
The problem is going to be with other parents who don't want the inconvenience of not being able to put their child in nursery, or the nursery not being strict enough with parents.

Handwashing or disinfecting in the nursery makes very little difference. They catch it from other children. If you are unfortunate and have a few shitty parents who always send their kids in when they're sick, then the younger ones will keep catching them.

It took a solid 1.5 years to build up immunity and to get through the bugs which only tend to strike once (rotavirus, parvovirus etc). But yes, it was absolute hell. Worse than the newborn year and has a massive impact on your life, work and holiday plans.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead she has been off for the past week (as it’s her birthday tomorrow so I wanted to be safe…unfortunately a week wasn’t enough it seems but hey ho!) so I might keep her off for another couple and see if this works like it did with yours!

Also I’ve just got an email from nursery saying there has been a chicken pox case in DDs room…typical

The problem is going to be with other parents who don't want the inconvenience of not being able to put their child in nursery, or the nursery not being strict enough with parents.

Exactly this. It is 100% harder and shittier to be at home with a sick kid when your work is piling up and you are sick yourself. There's the phase when the child might be ok to attend nursery but is clearly still coughing or contagious. Do you sacrifice another day for the good of the other kids and nursery staff or do you put your own convenience and comfort above everything else?

It's also appalling how many parents treat nursery staff like medical staff. They send in a clearly sick child and expect the staff to wipe their noses, encourage them to drink, clean up sick or poo and calm them down when cranky and in pain.

My ds in 18 and has only had the olds from your list in his entire lifetime! It's not normal and i would get your daughters immune system checked out. You can't continue to live limping from one illness to another.

Not normal no, sorry.

Have you spoken to the nursery to understand how often they do deep clean of the toys etc? And their infection control policy?

I think you’ve been really unlucky there, that’s an awful lot. In your shoes, I’d be trying whatever I could to try to ward off illness/stay healthy- lots of fresh fruit and vegetable, fresh air and exercise, being diligent about hand washing, trying to rule out anything at home that may be contributing (eg damp) etc. Do you feel confident that hygiene at the nursery is good?

That's a lot.

My first was a lockdown baby and when she started she was constantly ill with colds and coughs, and viruses that seemed to cause little rashes etc. She's vaccinated for CP, but never caught HFM Scarlett fever or some of the other big ones. She's had one sickness bug. I thought she got sent home a lot but to be fair she didn't have a cold in her whole first year of life so think she had no immunity.

My second started this winter, and has had one round of sickness bug and the standard colds. Scarlett fever is doing the rounds but she's not had it yet.

I think what you've listed in such a short period is cause for concern and I'd be seeing the GP and potentially looking at a new nursery as I suspect their hand hygiene isn't up to scratch.

@Tangletweaser thats alot but very similar to what I experienced with my son. He went to nursery when he was 10 months old. Over a 3 month period he was probably well for about 3 weeks totally. Rest of the time he had multiple chest and ear infections, hand foot and mouth, d&v, colds, tonsillitis, conjunctivitis. It was horrendous. They had outbreaks of chicken pox as well which we dodged. Second year was much better.

I don't think it's normal. I now thinking mine must be very unusual, they were rarely sick.
One got SF three times, which was unusual. one had an ear infection and maybe two slight colds a year each.

late teens now, still very healthy. It must be a good immune system. I remember going to the GP when I was 25 and he was shocked I hadn't been seen since I was 5 😂

I think it depends on the child potentially. Mine was on antibiotics twice in the first 5 weeks of nursery (compared to none at all previously). We had a rough first six months, colds, croup, HFM, D&V, ear infections, tonsillitis, random viruses.

He is an only child which I think made a difference as just overall exposed to less germs in his first year. The first 6 months of nursery floored me to be fair, I think he also managed a handful of full weeks in that time. It has settled down a lot now, obviously still brings things home but to a much lesser extent.

I think you’ve been at the unluckier end of the scale there but they do get sick an awful lot. It’s awful but it does pass. Dd1 was pretty bad and always had something but was never off school once she started. Her immunity did seem to wane again about 7 possibly due to the lockdowns ( not sure) and she started picking lots of things up again.

Not at all normal! I would be questioning whether the nursery staff are washing hands properly etc and whether the places is sanitised/cleaned properly.

Definitely not normal, over two DCs and 6 years at nursery, we've never had HFM, glandular fever, impetigo, nor ringworm. We've also only had 2 sickness bugs in all that time.

DD2 has been at nursery for 18 months and hasn't been off with anything yet!

Constant runny noses and monthly coughs yes but this list seems crazy in 3 months. You're doing amazing, that sounds really tough going!

Mine haven't had that amount of sickness between them in 3 years, never mind 3 months! That's horrific, both for your DD and you and your DH.

Echoing others who would be concerned about general hygiene in the nursery. Are hands always washed before food, do they get plenty of outdoor time weather permitting? How often are the soft furnishings/ sheets and blankets in cots etc washed?

I'd expect plenty of low level illness like runny noses, coughs and colds, maybe 1 or 2 sickness bugs a year. Do you give her multivitamins? I'd definitely speak to the GP too in case it's something underlying with her immune system. The NHS say that 8-12 colds etc a year are to be expected.

My kids were sick like this. If a week passed where they weren’t sick it was a miracle. Sometimes they would be sick on Friday and have recovered by Monday. It was a nightmare and it lasted until they left nursery (had been going full time. since babies). The nursery was really clean and pedantic about hygiene as this was during covid. What I did notice was that all the kids seemed sick and would be at nursery sick (parents have to work so not complaining) but that’s what kept the incessant cycle of sickness going around. I’ve now moved one child to a smaller nursery setting and the illness has calmed down but it wouldn’t have been a good setting for my other one as it’s so small.

The main positive is my kids at school are almost never sick now. So hang on, it does eventually end! I’m so traumatised by it though, would never want to relive the nursery years….

That is a lot of illnesses! My DS has been in nursery just over a year now. He had nothing for the first few months, send home twice last year, 1st time strange rash, I took him to the GP it was nothing. 2nd time just unwell high temp. Then last time this year he had a high temp + cold.

Now some of it has to be down to luck. But I would seriously be getting worried about how much cleaning etc is happening in the nursery.

I would also be looking to the GP for a bit of advice, is your DD deficient in something maybe?

No I think that's a lot.

5 x colds I'm impressed you can count them. Just assume they'll have one long cold from October to May. It's easier. This is normal.

1 x glandular fever (which I am still suffering with!) This is unlucky, it's rare so hard to predict.

4 x D&V bugs I would be seriously questioning the hygiene / exclusion rules. Four bouts of d+v in 3 months is huge. How's her weight?

1x RSV (which was serious, required hospital treatment and DD was on a feeding tube for 3 days!) Whilst lots of babies fight it off, I'd think her immune system being so battered has not helped. My 11 month old nephew was in similar condition and times but again, he's been poorly a lot lately

2 x HF&M see above for d+v

1 x tonsillitis it's doing the rounds unfortunately

1 x COVID (was tested) I'm surprised you're teasing for it but it is on the rise

1 x scarlet fever glandular fever and scarlet fever in 3 months must have been hard on her.

1 x ringworm see d+v

Personally I'd be speaking to your GP about her immune system and if there is something underlying that's making her so prone to stuff, and I'd be speaking to nursery about their sanitation and exclusion policy.

I agree that that is an awful lot of illnesses for 3 months! I would stick it out though as surely her immune system is going to be extremely robust now, after all of this and I would hope illnesses would now be at a minimum for her (and you!)

I have nothing else to add except...

PROBIOTICS!!

Get yourself and your child on them ASAP, holland and barrett do a powdered flavourless version for babies 12m+ and boots do amazing adult versions. They help MASSIVELY.