To ask her not to do any washings

[Lolly188888]

My ds and dd stay overnight at my parents house a couple of times per month, which I am extremely grateful for. My lovely mum insists on washing the clothes that they have worn and returns them to me clean and dried. My ‘issue’ is, she doesn’t separate the whites and colours and numerous baby vests and socks have been return to me very grey. AIBU to ask her not to wash their clothes? I know she is just trying to be helpful. Do I buy specific vests/socks for when they go there?

Maybe easier said than done depending on what clothes they have (my kids' whites are never white for long, so I don't get much white stuff for them) but I'd just make sure they're not wearing whites when they go there - or I would keep some of the whites she's already made dingy/tatty play clothes etc to send them in.

Anything to foil Mt Laundry's bid to take over my utility!😭

for a couple of nights childcare I wouldn’t risk upset. Just send some of the already greyed ones or colours only. You are very very lucky

I don't think I would say anything to my mum as I wouldn't want to be looking a gift horse in the mouth. I would try to send the kids in colours that can be put together in the wash. Or if you have to use a white vest then just put that same vest on the next time so more don't get ruined.

I'd suck it up, don't send them in new whites to her.

I'd stuck it up too, it's not the end of the world.

Give her a box of colour catchers and say you got them 2 for 1 and always used one with the kid's clothes if you think she'll be fine with that.

I love it when my mum does this for me when my DC stay over! Send her in old clothes that don’t colour run or ones that can be washed together.

*them not her

I would just not send them in white stuff, or in the ones that are already grey. It’s really not worth making a fuss when your Mum is trying to do something nice.

Just count your blessings!

She's your mum, surely you can nicely say something without her being hurt or offended by it?

If I had a living, breathing mother who looked after my children a couple of times a month, and did their laundry, I’d find it very hard to give a fuck about some grey vests.

Thanks for your replies. I know I’m being somewhat ungrateful and I really appreciate all her help with the two littles. I have gone down the route of ‘oh please don’t bother, you do enough for us’ etc but she is just super helpful. I think they’ll just have specific ‘nana’s house clothes’. She also doesn’t use non-bio washing powder so I end up washing them again anyway as my ds suffers from eczema. I have mentioned this fact before to her but that’s fallen on deaf ears.

Overall she’s doing you a massive favour, put them in dark colours when they stay over and buy her a big box of the washing powder you prefer - say it’s a contribution to the washing she’s doing for you so she’s not using up her own.

Same. This is the sort of conversation you might tip toe around your MIL but not your actual mum.

Same

Does your child actually come back with a rash? I'd be more concerned about that to be honest.

It's a tricky one, and I understand your frustration at her ignoring your DCs eczema and carrying on regardless. Overall though, I would just send them in non white clothes and put them in the wash again when they get back.

rash - yes re wash and maybe something
just because of the look - no leave alone

Grey vests I couldn't give a hoot about but not using non-bio when your baby has eczema is a legitimate reason to ask her not to wash the clothes. Although you could do as suggested above and buy her non bio and colour catchers.

How/why do they run though? I’ve only had clothes run once in my life, just curious why they’d run?

Just ask her not to wash them. I can’t believe all the people saying she’s doing you a massive favour! No, she’s ruining clothes and not using non-bio washing powder. My ex-MIL did this and caused horrible eczema on DC until I realised.

”Mum, it’s really kind of you to wash the DCs clothes, but they have a special liquid they need to be done in, so just leave them and I’ll wash them with the proper stuff when they get home. I’ll be doing a special soak and wash anyway, so it’s no trouble. Thanks, Mum 😊“

@Lolly188888 have an honest conversation with your mum and say you are so grateful for her doing the washing but could she use a non bio, to not irritate your children's skin. You could buy it for her and you could get her some colour sheets, to help with the mixed colour load.

Just tell her you’re having to rewash the clothes due to eczema and the colours are running, so could she wash them X way or just not do it?

dont pussy foot around otherwise it’ll always bug you! Also she needs to understand the eczema in case she starts using in the future say a suntan cream you know he reacts to etc

That's a bigger issue. I'd be putting my foot down firmly.