To ask if you feel safe as a woman to walk outside alone after dark

[Flufferblub]

I've been stuck indoors sick for a few days where I've been ill. I'm quite over weight and feel as though I need to go for a walk. I feel like I need to walk off the first meal I've had for a few days, as I feel quite uncomfortable. But I can't. Because I'm a woman and I don't feel safe enough to go out walking alone after dark. It's a shame that I don't feel safe enough to go out and get fresh air and exercise as a woman. Am I overly anxious, or is it just sensible to not go out alone at night? How do other women feel about this?

Thanks

@KThnxBye similar for me.

I have been assaulted at work - I still have a job and don't advise women not to work

I have been assaulted in daylight - I still go out during the day

I actually haven't been assaulted after dark

Surely it depends where you are.

I wander round local area in dark - kids needed picking up and dropping off in winter and pop to nearby late nigh shops. Would avoid unlit canal path and stick to busy roads with lights.

Do struggle walking back from city center - unlit canal, underpass or unlit path through woods no way to avoid one of those - I've felt it's dicey with two grown men as part of a family group - so bus or taxi back.

Other locations it depends - I couldn't do an evening course run by council as transport doesn't run and even early evening the nearest bus route is via an unlit park and area is very deserted in daylight let alone at night.

Wouldn't walk back at night from nearby town as either busy roads poor in daylight for pedestrians and not safe or unlit canal and unsafe - wouldn't go in nearby woods at night. Would get train back to train station and taxi/bus up here at night.

Would be happyish in early evening in town center by self but not later at night when pubs busy.

No I don't, I'm in the police and it opens my eyes in a negative way to how bad it really is for women. Scary enough in uniform with a radio on duty let alone on my days off. I would never walk in the dark alone. I'm probably biased but sod that. So many normal looking buildings and streets have absolute wrongens living in and using them and it's just not something I'd feel safe doing ever again. I used to be someone who would occasionally walk home alone from say a friends round the corner in the dark and maybe have someone on the phone at the time but I wouldn't do that now. Walk anywhere with my husband though.

I don’t feel unsafe very often. There are poorly lit footpaths etc I wouldn’t walk down, but don’t feel bothered walking down streets most times. Would be a bit more cautious after say 1-2am til 5am because everything is so quiet. I don’t live in a dodgy area though, maybe that would be different.

Absolutely. Walk home after a night out, go for a walk after work about an hour circuit. There's street lights but it's not all well lit or busy.

I'm 55 and live in a very low crime area.

Yes. I walk to and from work in the dark during the winter. Never bothered me.

Of course, I always feel safe. You cannot let irrational fear ruin your life. It's dark 90% of the time in winter.

Yes and I live in a city centre. I'm also a survivor of serious sexual assault, which incidentally wasn't a stranger. Because I know the area so well, and have been there so many years, I am entirely comfortable with its streets. I'm also comfortable walking in the middle of nowhere at night.

Blimey, thanks but that is depressing. I was starting to wonder if I was being over cautious and unnecessarily restricting my freedom. I think I’ll stick to my caution now after reading your perspective because you should know what the risks are better than most of the PP on this thread.

Very true although I should probably really emphasise this I'd only my tired and very isolated view based on seeing the worst of most day in day out, I know a lot of people do walk daily and are entirely safe I have just skewed my view point a bit but still it's depressing for us women isn't it :(

Due to abuse involving uploaded videos by male ex I have been approached in broad daylight, and followed around shops, by males leering at me, making comments, even photographing me in a hospital corridor once ffs.

Leaving the house at all much less at night is a balance of how well I’m feeling, how well-known the place/shop is to me, how needed the journey/groceries are, whether I can get someone to accompany me, how close it or parking to it is, and time/finances.

A lot of people will never understand how far-reaching the effects of male violence can be - making something as innocuous as ‘can I get a pint of milk’ into a complex thought process that requires extra planning/energy/precautions/money to achieve.

I think it’s great that a lot of people haven’t and won’t experience this.

I think it’s pretty shitty that a number of those people will not make even the slightest effort to understand those of us who have/do.

I think it’s fucking inexcusable of those refusing to make that slightest effort, to go on to paint victims of abuse as somehow ‘the problem’ rather than the abusers who caused the trauma.

I'm so very sorry to read this. Have you had the opportunity to have some counselling to deal with the effect that this has had on your life? I can well imagine that this plays part of every decision leading to you leaving your home. Just goes to show how unsafe some men are.
Wishing you healing and safety x

I have never thought NOT to walk at night.

My work has always meant coming home late. Walk around London to meet friends, walk locally to go to Book Club, take friend’s (wouldn’t scare a mouse ) dog for a walk, walk to meet friend in Pub, do all the same local walks when I visit family in a v rural area.

What is the alternative? Sit indoors, drive everywhere or be dependent on a man to escort me?

There are places I wouldn’t choose to walk alone, so I don’t. But in general: of course!

Having said that, I am not in denial of risk. I never wear shoes that I can’t run in. I always have my keys to hand in my pocket. I never walk close to the wall, always pass an oncoming man in the road side (to lessen the risk of being trapped against a fence), would never walk with headphones in. I have a range of strategies at the ready: shout / knock on neighbours door / be alert etc. These habits are inbuilt, second nature.

And i do understand the toll that women have on their sense of safety. I am outraged that women are and feel unsafe due to the behaviour of men. I am outraged and sickened by the treatment of women who have been the victims of assault of all kinds. I am exasperated that men don’t understand this.

I am outraged and sickened by the treatment of women who have been the victims of assault of all kinds. I am exasperated that men don’t understand this.

Tbf, though, they're something like 4x more likely to be assaulted by a stranger so it's not surprising if they're not thinking about women.

I wonder if that might change as you get older @TempleOfBloom. I was like you when I was young. I’m 70 now and I can’t run any more and I’m all too aware that I’m not as strong as I used to be. If someone decided to attack me I’d be a very easy target. I’d just hand my bag over but if someone wanted to do me significant damage I wouldn’t be able to defend myself.

I don't feel particularly safe but I have a dog who has to be walked so I get on with it now. I carry a heavy torch which I think would be useful if someone (a man) did try and attack me.

I reckon have some sort of safety device or deterent on you....I realize the uk has draconian laws on self defence, which makes it hard for law abiding citizens but you can try and work around that. Also, a well trained dog (a more intimidating breed) is an excellent deterent for predators. I speak from personal experience as I have trained my staffie not to be friendly with strangers therefore whenever some guy tries to approach me for whatever reason when Im walking with her, her growling is enough to set things straight.

Usually I do, yes. Maybe not in a dark ally but a well lit street is ok. Certainly wouldn’t walk through a park at night but I think that would be a bit daft even if you were a man.

I feel perfectly safe in our small town. I've walked 1.5 miles back from the train station alone at 2am happily - I'm alert because that's sensible, but I feel safe. However, I do work in the local secondary school so most 'gangs' of threatening looking boys in hoodies often slink past me with a 'Hi Miss'. 😂 I just think, why should we adapt our behaviour? That's letting the bad element win. Be alert, have your phone etc but go where you want, when you want.

I'm also 70 but can still run... well I can run for the bus if that counts!

I'm in inner London and out and about at all hours, using my common sense as I go. No ear buds, know where I'm going so I look purposeful, keys in one pocket and mobile in the other, so if my crossbody bag is snatched I wouldn't be in too much trouble.

Most women, whatever their age, wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight against someone who wanted to do them significant harm, so be honest I don't take my older age into account on that front.

The 'bad elements' can include human traffickers, rapists and murderers who overpower their victims with tasers ... I admire your spirit but I hope you don't preach this to the children in the school where you work.

This completely depends on where you live, I live in a very middle class safe area and with think twice about walking home on my own from the local station late at night. I do appreciate I’m very lucky in where I live but I honestly don’t think I’m at risk of being abducted by human traffickers round here.

I live in a questionable area of inner London and I still don't think I'm at risk of being abducted by human traffickers.

I lived in several fairly disreputable areas of south and north-east London and, having taken a few common-sense precautions, never felt at any particular risk. I had no issues with getting a night bus home and walking from the stop at any hour.