Dss wanting gf to come on holiday

[mikemeg]

Dss is 15 and completely glued (in a matter of speaking) to his girlfriend also 15.

We are trying to book a summer holiday he wants to come but wants her to come too. Its a clear no for me. Dh is 50/50.

It seems unfair on our other ds who is 11, he would probably love a friend to come too but doesnt have that luxury.

Its becoming a whole thing, dss upset that we will be going without him, but he wont come without her.

I said we cant afford her, he said her parents will pay!

AIBU? I think its utterly ridiculous to even consider it

I wouldn't say that he might not still be with her - boys that age can be very romantic and he'd be furious at that suggestion. I'd just say no, you're too young and it would spoil everyone else's holiday. When you're both 18 you can plan a holiday to go on together.

The thing is, her parents are prepared to pay but are they not embarrassed to have their daughter crash your holiday? If this is your one family break then it’s a shame to have to cater for someone else’s needs.

15? Er no.

I wouldn't even be entertaining a conversation about it at 15.

You don’t mention where you’re going on holiday but there could also be issues if they have underage sex whilst there. Depending on the age of consent in the country you could be facilitating a crime. Worth considering if they had an argument while there and there were any problems.

Why don't you get to know the parents and see if they want to holiday there too.

That way you won't be responsible for their daughter.

It's a difficult age.
If he dosent really want to go is there a family member he could stay with.

Absolutely not, what if they fall out/disagree while on holiday and he definitely would be coming at 15 not stopping at home with an empty house and a gf.

What? You think the OP and her family should go on holiday with their son's girlfriend's family? Why?

Meh... On our famiçy holidays, my 3 step siblings always took a friend/bf/gf, and my brother and I didnt, as they were older teens/young adults, and we were 10ish

Then when we were older, we started bringing our bf/gf as well (by that point step siblings werent taking friends anymore, only spouses)

Absolutely not.

Family holidays are not for your teens to bring their young romances away with them.

I was the same at that age. I was glued to my boyfriend. At 16, I was actually with my ex hubby but he was never allowed to go on holiday with my family. In fact, it wasnt even discussed.

We went on our first holiday, together a year later when I was almost 18 (he was 3 years older).

Believe me, spending a week or two apart wont do any harm. In fact, its healthy. It teaches boundaries at a young age in relationships.

Tell him you're booking. He is going as he is still 15, his girlfriend will be there when he gets home and thats the end of it.

My brother and sister in law did this - paid over £1000 for their son's 15 year old girlfriend to come on an all-inclusive to Turkey. They split up and the ticket couldn't be put in anyone else's name so they lost the money.
A whole week is also very intense for 15 year olds to spend together, plus there's the whole sleeping together situation and the alcohol situation...It would be a hard no from me!

Because it changes the dynamics. It isn't a family holiday any longer. 11 year old will be left on their own. Parents will need to entertain 11 year old. Without gf the kids will just mooch around together. It is massively different. We did take gfs but only much older. 20 ish. They were old enough to understand not to seclude themselves off and to join in most of the time. We did make sure they had time together alone also.

This

This. He's 15 and still a child! He doesn't get to have a gf come along. And sleep where? And act like adults, hell no.

That would be a "Hell, no!" from
me.

Take it from someone who’s been there. SAY NO!!
When DS1(23) was 16 we let his GF come on holiday with us.
It was the first time they’d spent 24/7 together and they did nothing but argue!!
Ruined our holiday!

Forget about the changing dynamics. These are children. Stop encouraging children from thinking they are like adults. Some people live in a different world here. Absolutely no one I know would even entertain children bringing 'boyfriends and girlfriends' on holidays.

I had this when one of my DDs was 16 . Wanted to take her 16 year old BF ( who we weren’t keen on). His parents offered to pay half!? We said no . Cue almighty tantrum . By the time the holiday came round they had split up .

Jeez a family holiday where a CHILD you don't know or have any say over dictates what is happening. Ugh.

You cannot monitor them 24 hours a day, particularly overnight!!! It's likely they will decide they don't want to go sightseeing and you will face demands for them to stay behind and all that entails. You cannot insist on anything. At all. Your DC will be 'in the way' and won't have a nice time.

You will have to spend the whole time with jazz hands (aka being reasonable, happy, not arguing) under stressful situations and not able to put your foot down.

My idea of hell.

Absolutely not.

If you go on holiday without him, I'd be wary of him and his gf sleeping at yours while you're out of the country.

YANBU. I would frame it in a way where it focuses on your other DS rather than on the gf herself or the fact they might not be together. Something like ‘if you bring someone then your brother will want to bring a friend too as it won’t be fair, and DH and I do not want the extra responsibility of 2 children who aren’t ours. It’s not fair for only you to bring someone as DS will be left out.’

We're taking my DS's girlfriend on holiday with us for the first time this summer. They're 18 though.

I wouldn't let my kids bring a boyfriend or a girlfriend at 15years old on our family holiday regardless who is paying.

Earliest we have allowed friends to come is 16 and that's because it can be a pain at passport control (some countries want you to prove you are the parents and if notnthey want to see authorisation... had this with my own children in Soain, Italy and Ireland) but also because apart from everything I would need them to be semi independent and not worrying about where they are constantly.

The bf/girlfriend is an added dimension but from 16 could be managed better although like others said mainly with a villa...much more difficult in a hotel scenario as they wouldn't want a 16 year old in a room by themselves.