My whole personality has changed, what is wrong with me?

[CloudyLemonadex]

I’ve always been a bit of an overthinker but generally a confident person who has just got on with things.

Last few months I barely feel like I’m functioning. I have a mini breakdown at least once a day. I slag myself off so much. I feel empty a lot of the time.
Positive things like counselling, eating healthily or walking in nature or exercising doesn’t do anything to me. I don’t feel any different once I’ve done these.

I know this could all be mental health related but honestly I don’t recognise myself at the moment. I’ve been told I’ve had depression before but never felt this bad

I have even started to have suicidal thoughts. Not that I want to hurt myself, more “I can’t be arsed”. I’ve hit myself on the head a few times from becoming frustrated at myself. I’ve also noticed some poor memory, and I often can’t find the right words and find myself stuttering sometimes.

i literally feel like someone has swapped my brain. Could this possibly be more than just depression or mental health? Should I get my head looked at for instance?

How old are you OP? This sounds really difficult and I wondered if peri could be having an impact.

Have you had your thyroid checked recently?

I was going to say menopause too. A friend of mine has crippling anxiety and brain fog. They put her on her and she said it was a complete game changer for her

Yes, I was going to ask about peri or menopause depending on age.

Could be peri menopause, could be mental health issues, could be a vitamin deficiency. Only way to find out is to see the GP.

You need to go and see your GP asap.

This level of personality change means there is something going on that is medical in nature. It could be depression, or it could be peri-menopause, or it could be massively low levels of important vitamins and minerals or it could be thyroid or any number of other things.

I would get yourself down to the GP asap. If you're over 40, most likely peri menopause but this level of extreme reaction Id' want a full battery of tests. When I was put on HRT, I was also given a large dose of vitamin D and told to up my iron as blood tests showed I was low on those too. And at the same time they checked me for diabetes, thyroid function etc.

It could be peri menopause, it could be depression (which can make us hugely forgetful and exhausted as well as other symptoms.)

You definitely need to see you GP and tell them what you have said here.

Meanwhile, please do keep walking in nature, doing exercise as strenuously as you can without causing injury, and eating healthily. You may not think they are doing anything for you but they certainly aren't doing you harm, and a virtuous cycle of self care is easier to keep up if it's already partly a habit.

There are some self compassion tools here:https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-exercises-worksheets/

and when I clicked on it, the link said if you sign up, they send more. Try not to scoff at them even if they feel a bit cheesy or phoney, just give them a go. That negative self-talk just gets louder and louder if you don't put a brake on it.

I’m only 26 and I had full thyroid check. All fine :( currently doing a 24hour cortisol test but surely high cortisol couldn’t do this much damage.. could it?

When you got your thyroid tested did they do a full battery of tests? As you are young, this is very worrying. And while it could be mental health related, it's pretty extreme if that's the case and I would absolutely be looking at medication.

Diabetes, for example, can affect the way you feel and interact with other people if it's not treated as your body swings between sugar highs and lows.

To me you sound depressed, and desperately trying to carry on like you're not. But you don't need to feel that way, and you are not alone or unique in how you feel. Just go to your GP, who can find the cause and get you feeling better. GL

Yeah the full battery. Even the antibodies test. Everything was within average range. I’ve also had vitamins etc tested and everything was fine, although my b12 was slightly low it wasn’t worryingly

Don’t suppose you felt a popping in your head before these changes? Did you wake up one day like this or was it slow and gradual?

Good that your GP taking it seriously. So it sounds like physical reasons are being ruled out which might leave depression. Are you being offered anti depressants?

Are you on hormonal contraception? The Pill made me feel similar. It creeps up on you so it took me a while to make the connection.

OP you need to see your gp asap xx

I think if you look at this purely as a chemical imbalance in the brain, it can (but may not) help to understand what's going on. Or bodies sometimes go wrong and the brain is no exception. I've suffered depression for decades but every so often, maybe once a decade, for about 6 months at a time, I suddenly feel a lot better. There is no change in circumstance that explains this, I feel its just the chemicals working better.

I would see your gp and maybe consider whether a short time on anti depressants might help to restore some balance.

Could it be neurological? Vanishingly unlikely of course but for sudden personality changes a brain tumour should be ruled out.

Many of your symptoms are recognized symptoms of B12 deficiency. I had awful brain fog and depression with it, and, if I remember correctly, under the NHS, I was not classed as needing treatment, but now I live abroad, I got the injections and cannot stress how much better I felt - like a human and not a zombie! Do you have the results with your actual level of B12?

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vitamin-b12-or-folate-deficiency-anaemia/symptoms/

Burnout?

How overwhelmed are you day-to-day with stress. Stress can definitely cause memory issues and some of the things you describe, I didn't quite have the same issues as you but once I left teaching and started a role with a better work life balance the stress disintegrated and family member commented on how my personality and even tone of voice had returned to the normal me of previous years.

This annoys me about test results. It’s the same with iron - my ferritin levels were bang on 30 and under 30 is classed as an iron deficiency so could well explain why I feel like crap all the time

Before you blame yourself too much, take a look at this video.

Dr. Georgia Ede - 'Our Descent into Madness: Modern Diets and the Global Mental Health Crisis'

You haven't chanced method of contraception by any chance, have you? I remember when I went from the mini pill to the arm implant (same hormone) it messed with me so much that I had the implant removed after only 3 months. Mood swings, irritability, frustration. It was awful.

I feel the same OP. Like exactly the same, and reallys truggle to put into words to my friends etc how i feel.

Its almost like im a confused, lost little girl inside. On the outside i would appear to have my shit together, on the inside i just dont know who i am. I dont know what i like, what music i like, what clothes i like - its like i have just forgot everything about myself.

For me this seemed to happen around lockdown, staying in meant when we were allowed back out i almost just didnt know what to do with myself. Then i had my daughter, and my life becam/is about her - but as for myself, i havent got a clue.